Another page of the very sexy calendar has been officially turned over. Or it will be tomorrow, if I manage to get this finished and published in time. Or on Monday, probably, as I don’t often go into the office at the weekends. Got to have a work/life balance, you know.
ANYWAY, this is my fifth monthly installment of ‘my life’ (you can see January’s here, February’s here, March’s here and April’s here).
I know you’re all riveted to see what I’ve been up to, what’s been happening and what I’m looking forward to, so let’s kick off with last week’s exciting announcement shall we? No, not Ant McPartlin being a natural dad, I mean the other one.
It’s gonna be a Jenny Lec!
Finally! Just over a week ago now, little Rishi Sunak went outside in the pouring rain to announce that there will be a general election on July 4th. At least that’s what I think he said; the sound of Steve Bray’s speaker system playing D:Ream’s ‘Things Can Only Get Better’ somewhat drowned him out. Ha.
I would struggle to find the words to express how much I loathe and despise the slimy little weasel man in his stupid expensive suit with the legs taken up so he looks taller than the 5ft 4 he actually is. With another five weeks to go, he has already surpassed my very low expectations and added new policies to the Tory manifesto which include National Service for 18 year old (very popular amongst 60-75 year old readers of The Telegraph and no one else) and scrapping university courses.
The right wing press are, of course, being very normal about the whole thing and rather than pointing out solitary decent thing that any single Tory politician has done, have decided that their best line of attack is… What Keir Starmer is wearing.
Before I go off this topic, I know you’re all dying to know what I think about the current Labour party. I know there is a lot of hate for Keir Starmer, among right wing bigots and former Labour supporters alike, and I have to be honest that he hasn’t always wowed me or said what I was hoping him to say (proportional representation please?!). However, he’s clearly an intelligent man and a competent speaker and lord knows we could do with a PM who isn’t just an out of touch little prick in an expensive Saville Row suit, a vacuous economy-crashing dimbot who couldn’t outlast a lettuce, or Boris fucking Johnson.
Will a Labour government be perfect and fix everything? No. Will it be better than the shower of absolute corrupt cunts we have at the moment? I bloody well hope so.
What I wrote
Not a lot, really. This month I’ve written two very bloggy posts; the first is about monetising your blog (should you have one) and the second is about the Google update and in particular its really comical AI answers.
I also reviewed our new mattress, and finally got around to writing a whole post about my shed.
Maybe June will be more prolific. Probably not, mind.
What made me laugh
This petty revenge
Catherine left this doozy of a comment on one of my posts on Facebook. I can’t bear to see it disappear into the internet ether, so here it is, preserved for all time as it so rightly deserves to be. What a woman.
This Vinted exchange
I mean.
And this wonderful malapropism
As you know, I collect these but this one made me cackle unattractively and therefore deserved a special place in this round up post.
What I did
Illness
I was ill for almost two whole weeks of May; firstly with what I self-diagnosed as Slapped Cheek and then a week or so later, with a chest infection which needed antibiotics. It wasn’t very funny, so we’ll leave that here.
A day at Bocketts Farm with Mojo the Monkey
It was my mum’s birthday, and we did what all pensioners want to do for their birthday: We went to a farm park where we met llamas and alpacas and watched pig racing.
My 5 year old nephew happened to have the class monkey – Mojo – to stay so brought him to the farm park, where the green walls of the soft play gave us an idea.
If you haven’t seen this already, I urge you to go to Facebook and click ‘see all comments’ because there were some spectacular submissions.
A trip to Chessington with Yoto
The following weekend, we were invited to Chessington to celebrate the launch of Yoto’s brand new card, ‘Wildlife Defenders‘ which they’ve released in partnership with Merlin. 20% of the profits from each Wildlife Defenders Yoto card sold will be donated to Chessington Conservation to fund the protection of endangered species.
I decided as it was an early start and quite a long drive, we’d go up the night before and stay in a local hotel where we had a family room. If you enjoy being kicked in the kidneys and the heady scent of boy farts, I simply cannot recommend sharing a bed with your eight year old son enough.
Still, it was all worth it! We absolutely love working with Yoto – they’re hands down the most loved and well-used review item we’ve ever been sent (see our latest review here) – and we had an absolutely fantastic day. I even ditched the kids with my sister to go on the big rides like the adult I am.
A visit to Blenheim Palace
A week later and we’d booked a review visit to Blenheim Palace and the adventure playground, which we’d first been to back in February. As I predicted at the time, you can now get an all-year ticket which not only gives you access to the grounds but includes the adventure playground too.
As it was the bank holiday, there was also a food festival on in the Walled Garden, which gave it a great atmosphere with music, people eating and drinking, and dogs everywhere.
We also checked out the butterfly house for the first time and it was pretty impressive. I went to one once and it was like Where’s Wally for butterflies but these dudes are everywhere. Definitely worth stopping by.
Entry to Blenheim and the Adventure Playground costs £150 for a family of four for the year and if you’re local, it’s definitely worth considering as the kids could happily have spent hours there.
And a wine tasting
To finish off the month in style, I went to the launch of the first UK Greek Wine Month.
My ever so slight hangover won’t permit me to go into too much detail but you can see how it went below.
…And that’s a wrap!
If you enjoyed this and you’re feeling generous, you can buy me a cup of tea or a glass of wine – or donate to my houseplant addiction fund – here.
You can also see my Amazon wish list here.