A day in the life of a SAHM (with kids at school)

I don’t mean to brag (well, maybe just a bit) but as of September this year I have two children in full-time, six hour a day education.

For that six hours, I am a stay-at-home mum, minus the kids.

So just a stay-at-home, really. Only I don’t have to just stay at home; I can go and do whatever I want, really. Or could, if I had something more interesting to do. Between the hours of nine and three only. Which isn’t too far away, of course, and won’t get me stuck in traffic so I miss the school run.

You’d think I would have found some better way to pass the days, but as it is I seem to spend my time largely pottering at home, and staring at my computer. A bit of time hoovering, more time staring at the computer, and a lot of time trying to resist the snack cupboard.

This is essentially my daily internal monologue once I have returned from the morning school run:

9am: I need to clean the kitchen

Or the bathroom, or the bedroom, or well – anything really. I just need to tidy something up because, well, now I have no excuse not to.

And I will, later… I’ve got to make a cup of tea first – I’ve had no caffeine yet today – and perhaps scroll Facebook for a second/an hour or so.

10am: Where are the snacks?

I don’t have to hide behind the cupboard! I don’t have to share! Choice is between a Barny Bear or a packet of Pom Bears.

10:30am: Perhaps I need to get a real job?

I mean, I don’t go out to work, but I do work, in as much as this blog can be considered work (it is work, I promise). Friends and relatives who don’t really understand what goes into it might not see it as such, HMRC definitely do.

I got told by a ‘psychic’ at a Halloween event last week that I’d be going back into a regular workplace come April, but I can’t see it happening to be honest. I’m essentially unemployable these days. Hmmm.

She also said my husband was planning a big surprise for my birthday so I think she probably got her wires crossed.

11am: Still waiting for the computer to bloody update.

WHY does it have to do this every time I want to use it? Why didn’t I turn it on earlier?

Never mind, still ages left until pick up! Head down.

11.30am: Should probably answer those emails

I know I’m not the only one that sees an email come in that I don’t want to reply to and pretends I didn’t see it for an hour or two or maybe forever.

12pm: I wonder if anyone’s up for a coffee…

Maybe a pub lunch?

Where is everyone? Why do they all have jobs and places to be? This is so weird.

I’m actually a bit… lonely?? Dear lord did I just say that out loud.

1pm: I should start a novel or something

I always said I would when the kids started school.

Do I have to admit that it was a lie?

I’ll do a bit of work… Wait, it’s lunchtime. Can work after lunch.

1.30pm: Might turn the TV on

I can catch up on Bake Off with no complaining.

It’s a bit annoying that husband keeps walking in to be honest. I kind of wish he’d get an office job sometimes.

On a totally unrelated note, I wonder if I have any Jaffa Cakes left?

2pm: Wow, it’s pretty quiet around here isn’t it

I kind of love it, and kind of hate it at the same time.

2.30pm: Wait, is it actually half past two?!

*Brief spurt of major efficiency while I finish this off/get the swimming stuff together/actually clean whatever it was up*

3pm: Shit, where did the day go?

The house is still a mess and I have ticked precisely nothing off of my to do list, and I still didn’t reply to that email. And, because of my current major spurt of efficiency, I’ll probably leave late and have to run to school and still be a bit late.

And there you have it, that is what I do in a day. Maybe I will get bored and, like the psychic said, go back to an office job. Maybe I’ll finally get to the gym, or perhaps I’ll carry on like this for the next 12 years.

What a terrifying thought.