I rewatched Love Hard a few years after first seeing it, largely because a suspicious number of people insisted it was something I wouldn’t hate. In Christmas-film terms, I think we’ve established that this is a glowing recommendation.
Natalie, our protagonist, is young, hot, child-free, and looking for love on an app.
She’s having a rough time of it; Losers. Ghosters. Cheaters. Catfishes. Men who should not have access to the internet.
In the years since I last watched this film, I have actually done the online dating thing myself. I would even go so far as to say I’ve been successful at it, which is both lovely for my personal life and deeply inconvenient for content. I had secretly hoped to pivot into the world of dating blogging, which is what Natalie happens to do for work. Alas, I downloaded Bumble, met my boyfriend within a week, and immediately ruined my own narrative arc.
Tragic. Maybe next time.
Natalie inexplicably writes her dating stories in an actual office, for a gossip magazine. She has a boss whose mantra is ‘I do not care if you find love as long as the ad revenue holds’. The office is achingly trendy with desk bikes, a juice bar and exposed brick, and she has a straight-talking work bestie who takes no nonsense.
Natalie’s dating radius is set to five miles, which is correct and sensible and exactly what I did. Said work bestie expands it against her will, and she matches with Josh, a hat-wearing hottie with a bland profile who lives fucking miles away.
He loves Love Actually. She hates Love Actually. Their first interaction is her insulting him, which is basically how I approached online dating too. Bullying but make it flirty. Her favourite Christmas film is Die Hard.
Title pun achieved. Everyone claps.
To the film’s credit, Natalie and Josh’s texting game is genuinely alright. It’s sharp, funny, and he can spell. Her work friend notices this and correctly identifies it as attractive. We do not get endless clunky exposition disguised as banter, thank god.
She is getting the feels and so, for a combination of reasons (dead parents, boredom, needing to hit that word count), she flies across the country to his small town to surprise him for Christmas.
Josh’s mum answers the door.
Then the dad arrives, then the grandma.
Then the penny drops; Natalie has been catfished. Josh is a Chinese man living in his mum’s basemen. He has been using photos of the hot local lad, Tag, because his foray into dating has been a flop and he wanted to see what would happen if he were a solid 10.
What happens is a justifiably angry woman and a Baby Jesus to the face.
Natalie storms off, ends up in a karaoke bar, and does some shots for courage. Unfortunately they contain kiwi, which she has mentioned twice already in this film she is allergic to. Her face swells up, she collapses and Josh – who followed here there – takes her to the vets because this is a Small Town and the hospital is miles away.
Josh proposes a deal.
He will set her up with Tag, the hot man whose face he borrowed, if she pretends to be his girlfriend so his family will stop panicking.
Meanwhile, her boss is hassling her for her article so she agrees, because sometimes bloggers will do anything for content *stares at almost three weeks of solid Christmas film viewing*.
From here, the film settles into fake-dating territory. Josh seems nice. He remembers things she’s told him. He has gentle hobbies like candle making. He plays her favourite song while helping her train for a climbing date with Tag she very clearly does not want to be on. If he had not been a liar, he would actually make a very good boyfriend.
Tag, meanwhile, is outdoorsy, meat-eating, and does not like Christmas.
He has absolutely nothing in common with Natalie, but he is kind of hot. She kisses him anyway, because sometimes women ignore glaring incompatibilities in favour of bone structure.
We’ve all done it.
Things escalate. Josh’s older brother Owen comes home and has to be the centre of attention. There is singing. Josh absolutely loses the plot and proposes. Natalie says yes, knowing it’s a scam.
There is a surprise engagement party.
Tag is there, as is Natalie’s boss who clearly didn’t have a lot going on at home. Faced with no other option, Natalie finally does the right thing and comes clean in front of everyone. She calls Josh out for catfishing her, then has to acknowledge that she did exactly the same thing to Tag. He has every right to be furious. Accountability is brief but it’s there.
She leaves Josh a note in terrible handwriting, retreats to a hotel with her boss, and tries to write the article that is meant to monetise her emotional breakdown. It doesn’t flow.
Procrastinating on the app, she sees Josh again.
He’s got new photos; real ones. Growth arc completed.
But wait! She goes back to his house with Love Actually style signs, in a full-circle moment I rolled my eyes at and then begrudgingly accepted. His family sneak out and watch from the porch like a load of weirdos because they have absolutely no chill.
They kiss. Everyone is happy.
Christmas!
Love Hard is not perfect.
It handwaves some genuinely questionable behaviour and wraps everything up very neatly. But the writing is quite sharp, and the film is self-aware and far less stupid than it could have been.
Would I recommend flying across the country for a man you’ve never met? Absolutely not. I stand by the 5 miles maximum rule.
Would I watch it again in a few years? Yes, maybe.
Would I still like to have been a dating blogger? Unsure.
Rating: 7.5/10. Yes it’s predictable, but it’s quite funny in places and it’s depressingly rare to find a romcom with anything to offer in the comedy department.
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