I’ve been collecting these screenshots for some time. Ever since I published this post about malapropisms, the good people of Facebook have been spotting examples in the wild and sending them to me and I am absolutely here for it.
These aren’t all malapropisms; some of them are probably the fault of an over-enthusiastic auto-correct, some will be down to voice-to-text being a complete dick, and many of them will be down to the fact that the education system in this country has quite clearly failed a lot of people.
You might not find them all hilarious, but be assured that I really don’t care.
So, in no particular order, I present to you:
Idiots of Facebook: Malapropisms, misspellings and mad bastards
(And mad drunk bastards)
Not all of them have commentary and/or context, because there are SO MANY. I’ve tried my best, people, I really have, but some of them really just speak for themselves.
Similar posts: Idiots of Facebook Marketplace or Unhinged people of Vinted.
No beating around the bush here
I mean, I don’t necessarily disagree with yew…
The woke among you will say this is fine
Don’t tell JK Rowling or she’ll be furious.
Better than a wasp on your bollocks, maybe?
There’s only one thing better than talking about your lack of sex life publicly, and that’s doing it so hilariously that it gets shared all over the internet.
Oh go on then…
…I don’t believe it!
(sorry).
Something to do with furries I reckon
#Woke
Nope
I don’t think there’s anything I can add to this one to make it any sillier than it already is.
At least we Pneu what she meant
(And, on a tangent, there’s a massive overlap between people who hate anyone on benefits, those who claim have lived through ice cold winters with ice inside the windows and it Didn’t Do Them Any Harm, and those who will simply perish without their £150 WFA).
Thank god they aren’t colour predagist
….Although the venn diagram of ‘casually racist and believes everything the Daily Mail feeds them’ and ‘has a very inventive use of the English language’ is a circle.
….And the same goes for misogynists
…And Covid deniers!
Heardy. Mutiny. Oooh arrrrgh!
Even those who get it wrong can’t agree on the spelling
A couldy sack does sound a little better…
…than a coldie sack though. Chilly.
I admire this one
They recognise their limitations and are getting in a professional.
No, I have no idea what this means
But I mustard mitt, that’s a good one.
This is my superhero name
Would also be excellent for a drag act. You can have it for free.
Now for some jokes!
What do you call a very average Vietnamese soup?
I accidentally rubbed ketchup in my eyes. Now I have…
Yesterday a clown held a door open for me. What a…
What does a cockney do when he has a good look at something? He has a….
And these are just left… Without context
I can’t think up any more awful jokes I’m afraid.
You’ll have to come up with them yourselves.
Enjoy scrolling, and don’t lose IQ points!
And finally
This doesn’t really fit the theme as there aren’t any spelling mistakes, but it made me laugh anyway.
I might add more, or add some witty captions as I think of them, or I might not. Let’s wait and see!
Thanks Facebook!
Liked this? Read about Idiots of Facebook Marketplace or Unhinged people of Vinted.
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