Quick 2022 Edit: Sadly, it’s six years on and this post is still as relevant as ever. Now it’s not just “beauty” and “health” MLMs preying on vulnerable young women particularly – there are MLMs for books, essential oils, shitty leggings, dodgy fake perfume and even – somewhat inexplicably given the state of the travel sector and the number of experienced travel agents who have lost their careers over the pandemic – travel. I’ve moved on from feeling somewhat sorry for these people to being insanely irritated by their stupidity in many cases. I mean… TRAVEL. Come on. Seriously. It is not a booming industry. Look at it rationally.
Anyway, if you’re here because you want to refute the facts and shout BE KIND, then don’t; I don’t care. Might as well piss it into the wind. “Be Kind” is a bullshit statement which people drag out when they want to shut down conversation, and is generally something you find plastered over the Facebook profiles of unpleasant people yelling about immigrants ‘taking are jobs’ in online articles. No one is taking the piss out of your cellulite, Suzy, no one is ‘not supporting women’, no one is being unkind when they say MLM is predatory and doesn’t work; they’re telling you facts – they’re trying to save you from yourself, trying to save you money, and shame. STFU with your ‘Be Kind’ and maybe look at some income statements.
Anyway…
If you’ve never heard of MLMs (multi-level marketing schemes) like Forever Living or Juice Plus (or Scentsy, Usborne Books, Utility Warehouse, the Body Shop at Home, Inteletravel… Bloody hell they’re everywhere), then well done you. I presume you live in some kind of cave and that you aren’t a new mother because they REALLY push this shit at us.
As someone who practically lives on the Internet, I have joined online birth boards during both of my pregnancies.
They’re useful when you’re pregnant for asking all those stupid pregnancy related questions you don’t want to bother your actual real life friends with (pro tip, never click on something that says ‘Is this normal? Pics in comments’), and then for passing the time during night feeds. It’s nice for checking that your child is developing fairly normally compared to the others as long as you account for the fact that what mums say about their little darlings isn’t always 100% accurate. Birth boards are even good places for making new ‘mummy friends‘, a phrase I absolutely cannot stand.
However, there is a dark side.
Sooner or later, it will happen.
If you’re on Facebook, you might get friend requests from people you only vaguely know.
Maybe even people you don’t know at all!
Be wary, dear reader. For as soon as you accept, you’ll be added to groups against your will. There, before you’ve had time to get your bearings, you’ll be flooded with crappy memes and positive life affirmations about seizing the day and being a ‘girl boss’, whatever the hell that is, from the catalogue of shit memes regurgitated over and over again by every ‘#bossbabe‘.
You’ll be subjected to videos of badly made up women wearing indescribably shit mascara or pictures of them in their pants showing you how well they have done on the recent fad diet which simply involves taking twelve aloe supplements a day. Oh, and working out religiously, cutting carbs, strict calorie counting and better fitting underwear, a more flattering angle and not breathing out in your ‘after’ photo – or just nicking someone else’s pics, if they’re canny.
Alternatively, you could be invited to an online party.
A party!
And one you don’t even have to get dressed or leave your bed to attend. Sounds fun, no? Well yes, if your idea of fun is someone posting memes and spending the housekeeping on complete shit. Skinny coffee anyone? Will make you shit yourself, only £30 a sachet? Some magic beans, or a tube of weird jelly, a steal at £45.50? Your wrinkles will be gone and you’ll be 27 stone lighter in a week! A £50 candle perhaps? Surely that’s a ‘Must Have’ item for every mum living off maternity pay.
It’s not all about the selling though.
Oh no… That’s in fact a very small part of the MLM whole shebang. If you show even the slightest glimmer of interest in a Forever Living or Juice Plus bot’s status, or even if you don’t, you may start getting strange messages with excessive use of exclamation marks and the word ‘hun’. Probably a bit like this, but maybe with more grammatical errors;
‘Hi hun! Hope you’re ok and the kiddies are well!! I know a lot of us mummies are due back to work from maternity leave soon! I wondered whether you would be interested in a brilliant opportunity working from home which can be flexible around the kids! Let me know if you’re interested hun and I can send you some information!’
#bossbabe #GIRLBOSSCEO
I know what you’re thinking; wow.
How does one say no to that? Tempting huh? You could earn money, in your pyjamas, whilst your toddler watches Bing and decorates the floor with toast crumbs.
All you have to do to make the most of this wonderful opportunity is pay a few hundred quid for your starter kit and then sell the products (and your soul) to your friends and family who will hide your posts, block your profile or maybe disown you entirely. And obviously and even more importantly, recruit a team of your own to do the same.
‘Sounds like a classic pyramid scheme!’ I hear you say.
Nay, don’t be so foolish. This is a Multi Level Marketing scheme. Completely and utterly different to the illegal and ridiculously unsustainable Pyramid, because there are PRODUCTS to sell (a more cynical person than I might call this a ‘legal loophole’), the Multi Level Marketing (or MLM) scheme is making millionaires around the world out of ordinary women like you or I.
Sounds ridiculous and too good to be true?
Well of course, it is exactly that.
I am not sure how many overpriced handcreams or essential oils you’d actually have to flog to buy a Range Rover, but I’m guessing it’s probably more than your mum and that one old gullible schoolfriend really want to purchase from you.
Of course the real incentives are for luring other unsuspecting mummies into your ‘team’ (here is the ‘multi level’ in the ‘multi level marketing’), and just like that, once again we are back to the pyramid scheme comparison. I would go and find some statistics about the numbers of people needed to sustain such a scheme past the very top levels, but this isn’t a maths blog and it’s probably only me that finds that kind of stuff interesting. You can just take my word for it.
You won’t? OK, here it is.
Considering most of these schemes have been knocking about for a few years now, saturation point is not far away. If you already know one person flogging Forever Living/Juice Plus/Whatever the newest exciting but ultimately useless advancement in hair, nail, skin care or weight loss is, then the local market is catered to. THINK ABOUT IT. There is a reason you don’t find huge wax melt shops popping up in every high street. There just isn’t a huge profit to be made there. Why would you think you could make any money setting up an identical “business”, becoming a direct competitor? It makes not one iota of sense.
Finding a gap in the market, well that’s Business Studies 101 (and I got an A*, I should know).
MLM DOES NOT WORK.
99.9% of those who start never make much, if anything at all; in fact most people won’t even get back what they put in and some will be left riddled with debt.
“But it works so well for my friend Betty! I’ve seen the pictures of her house and her car!”
Hmmmm.
Given that the company statements themselves show that after the first tier or so the vast majority of participants in these schemes are making a loss, I’d wager that the people who claim they’ve made loads on these scheme:
a) Don’t know how net profit works and have conveniently forgotten the garage full of magic beans they are currently sitting on, or
b) Are blatantly lying to get you onto their team because that’s the only way they’ll make anything back and they’re afraid to cut their losses and walk away like a sane person.
After all, why not pass your bad judgement onto your family, friends, and strangers on Facebook pages?
You will not make your fortune this way, whatever the inspirational memes say.
Why do MLMs always crop up on birthboards?
Mainly because there are a lot of women who really don’t want to have to go back to working away from their babies full time and whose workplaces won’t accommodate them. They desperately reach out for a glimmer of hope that might mean they don’t have to miss out on their child or children growing up.
It is a sad indictment of modern society that a mother (or indeed, father) who wants to be a stay at home parent cannot do so, that an average household can no longer exist on one wage, and we have somehow been persuaded that this is A Good Thing. If I had the answer to this conundrum it would make an excellent ending to this blog post.
Omg I know exactly what you mean. I get these kinda things all the time on insta the moment I post a weightloss or exercise pic I'm suddenly bombarded with herbalife and It works body wrap crap and will get at least 10 of those ppl following me. Or if I post something about travelling with the kids I get a load of 'what if I told you you could get paid to travel the world with your kids' DMs or on facebook I get really vague ones giving absolutely nothing away basically the same kinda message you got with hun this and hun that!
I don't get how people don't realise it's all a scam. Yes the ppl at the top are probably millionaires but that's cuz everyone is working for them there's then no one left for you to recruit and rip off.
Ok think I'm done with my rant can you tell those people annoy me? Hahahaa great post btw ?
Thanks Jade.
Oh I can smell them coming a mile off now. 'Hi hun. Nice to meet you. Gorgeous kiddies! Can I ask what it is you do?'.
How about NOPE. I just send them here now.
One thing that I didn't mention in the blog but is patently obvious to most people is that flooding the market with competitors is hardly good business sense, if of course success is anything to do with the selling of products which we all know is rubbish. If you have your own successful business you pick and choose who comes to work for you, not beg random people from mums' groups on Facebook.
I'm astounded and saddened that people still get sucked in.
SO SO true. I work for myself from home and don't flog anything. (I'm a freelance writer). I constantly get approached by these lemmings telling me I can earn a six figure salary while sitting on the sofa and doing practically nothing. I'm big enough and ugly enough to know it's not that easy.
I just feel very sorry for the mums who are suckered into this rubbish, waste their £200 and then spend a fortune more on "training" and their minimum orders every month. I have lots of self-employed friends and none of them would touch this sort of scheme with a ten foot pole.
Oh dear god!! I can't turn any sort of social media without this crap. Just last week, I was invited to a candle "party", a Forever Living "party" and a damned Herbalife "party". Last time I checked, going to a party meant having a great time with friends, dancing round the kitchen to Michael Jackson songs in the kitchen and drinking too much. NOT being forced to sit and listen to some dead eyed robot sing the praise of crap products that cost 12 times more than something from Asda. "12 different fruits and vegetables!!!" They scream. "Christian Ronaldo endorses it", they bleat. Blah blah blah! It has become blatantly obvious that these friends of mine now see me as a future customer rather than their friend and I have taken to avoiding them so I don't have to hear about their "business". One of them sent me as screen shot of her balance that she'd earned this last two weeks. It was just over £400. Now I know how much time and effort she puts into it. She really does work really hard; every day of the week up to 9pm most nights. This £400 is much much less than minimum wage. Hardly the levels that she's been convinced she's going to reach! All in all, the whole thing is so shady and I hate it for taking advantage of my friends that only wanted some sort of identity and a change of lifestyle. They're going to lose money and the respect of their friends.
Your friends are wise people. My friends are too – no one has ever been suckered into one of these schemes – however I've seen it happen so many times on birth boards it makes me wince!
£400! Goodness me. What riches.
A candle party sounds truly awful.
I hope they come around soon. With friends like that…
I know! Just imagine, working in a job that actually pays a wage, gives holidays, isn't dodgy and doesn't alienate her friends wouldn't have paid nearly that amount for the 80+ hours she's worked in her "own business". Oh wait….
Has anyone ever heard of Arbonne? I'm intrigued to know if it's the same premise. I don't actually know anyone who uses it but I know people who sell it. So how do they make their money? Is it all in the start up kit? Confused!!
Yes Arbonne is an MLM.
The products are all massively overpriced. So when someone you’ve recruited under you sells a product, you get a minuscule % of the profits too.
But the person above you also gets some profit. And the person above them gets some of the profit too!
So the higher up the pyramid you are, the most profit streams you’re getting from everyone below you.
Kind of like a pyramid shape. But it’s not a pyramid scheme they cry! 😂
You’ll notice they spend more time pushing you to recruit people than they push you to sell stuff. That alone tells you where the money comes from.
It is an MLM I have met a couple of women ruined finacially by it Spent thousands on it The desperation is so sad
Omg Fran this is so funny and true! I have had these things on Instagram (why do they always use the word hun? I'm nobody's hun and anyone who addresses me that way will get short shrift), but I hadn't realised it was so rife in the world of mumming. Birth boards sound like hideous places and I'm glad I stayed away.
It's very similar but I think the people in it invest huge amounts. They're just as likely to lose it all though.
Haha this sounds like a more articulate version of the rants I go on to my fiancé. I'd share this on my wall but 60% of the women on my Facebook are their own 'business owners' and as someone who occasionally sells handmade clothes to these people, I cannot risk the shunning! Tenner bet you'll make more as a Blogger (even if you stopped posting!)
Ha I think I would probably make more as a blogger even if I never earned a penny, given that the majority of Forever Living bots have to fork out hundreds for samples and success days and don't forget having to pretend to buy their own stock so they are eligible for their 'bonuses'. It's quite possible for them to be losing thousands – and putting the entire 'lifestyle' on credit. Awful company!
Ha Hun just reminds me of Attila et al. I am sick of people adding me on IG who want to transform my life and make me less fat and have a white rangerover. Sounds rubbish.
Hello! I just clicked through after reading your interview on What the Redhead Said… Yes, I completely see your point with these companies, and yes, I have several FB friends that have tried to sell to me. I also have business acquaintances that sell these products in far more practical ways. They are genuinely nice to have, if you can afford them, and I think that is where the issue lies. They are persuading poor people to try and sell to other poor people, and the only ones making a profit are the company owners. A very sad state of affairs, indeed! (I actually do like Forever Living, but can't afford them all the time)
Hilarious! Have way too much of this crap on my timeline …no janice i dont want younique mascara if it will make me resemble you ? brill post xx
If you’re a bit bored one day check out the #younique hashtag on Insta. Sweet baby Jebus.
Totes agree hun!!!!! (But please don’t mention grammar unless you’re going to get it right yourself…)
JuicePlus reps in particular drive me crazy…Every morning “Look at my delicious breakfast!” [Instagram filtered-to-death photo of 12 pills and a container of chalky milk-like substance].
Nope. No amount of filters are going to turn that into a fry-up “hun”. Not interested.
I liked a FB friend’s photo once, and almost immediately got a message asking me if I wanted to lose weight like she had and look and feel as good as she did. Bit awkward as I actually just liked it because her dog was in it, not because I wanted to throw my money away on a nice bit of brain-washing!
Oh my life this takes me back!! Used to be younique everywhere that I saw. Honestly what a load of **** it’s the #hunlife didn’t you know. Ashamed to say I actually fell for it at the start. The only way I was able to make it to the next ‘level’ up of sales was to rack up up a grands worth of debt on my own credit card. Very embarassing now but I did have pnd at the time after the birth of my 2nd daughter back in 2014. Thats exactly why they lurk on baby birth boards and chat groups. Seeking out the most vulnerable. What’s worse now is that pictures of that time actually come up in my Facebook memories?! Oh the shame and cringe factor. Tbh after being added to a lot of the Fb sales groups and bigger UK wide groups I was actually horrified at what a calculating business it is. Remember the half face of makeup half not thing people were doing?! Apparently by doing this you would draw attention to yourself and could then tell them about how brilliant younique is 🙈 there were even more cringe things shared on the groups to try but frankly I try to blank it all out! certainly don’t miss seeing loads and loads of positive memes and affirmations all over my timeline that’s for sure!! I couldn’t believe it was still a thing when I noticed someone on insta mentioning it recently. What I found particularly abhorrent was that younique would make out that a certain percentage of sales went towards creating retreats for victims of abuse so this too would get used as a sales tactic. I couldn’t believe it is still a thing when I noticed someone om insta mentioning it recently. They are still peddling those so called ‘free holidays’ that are actually just training camps that you will find most of the agents attending have actually paid to be there and bought their own flights but made out on insta that all this great travel was of course free. I really don’t know how they arent made illegal.
I have had a few friends utterly scamed by these MLM schemes. One I even warned but she took no heed. They all end up with nothing but thousands of pounds of credit card debt and expired product. I remember being at an Arbonne “party” with a friend and the host begging me to pay £40 for a mascara. I felt so embarased for her. She was desperate and financially in so much shit and I was just saying nothing will get me to spend £40 on a mascara before bolting out the door!