Before I was a parent, I made friends fairly easily.
I had some friends from school, some from uni, some from work, some from previous jobs and some that I’d just made along the way.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have those people in your life; but it can be tricky to keep a friendship alive when you have children, especially when it was borne of a mutual love of Jaegerbombs and dancing at 2am.
For a short while, when your babies are small, becoming a parent can be all-consuming not to mention very tiring.
Rightly or wrongly, in those early days you may not have much time to dedicate to anyone but your baby; even yourself. It’s no wonder that mums can feel a loss of identity along the way.
Good friends will know this and will be there to support you when needed, until such a time that weekends away, crazy nights out and spa days become possible again.
However in the meantime, you will discover there is a new type of friend just waiting to be made, the ‘Mum Friend’.
‘Mum Friends’ is a cringeworthy term for other mums met at antenatal classes, baby and toddler groups, online birth groups or just in the street (yep, I was that person who would stop and chat to literally anyone else with a baby!).
In my opinion Mum Friends are an absolute necessity to navigating life with a baby or toddler, and here are ten reasons you need them:
1. For asking ‘is this normal?!’
Pro tip: Your colleague who doesn’t have kids definitely doesn’t want to see a photo of your child’s soiled nappy even if it is dayglo.
Other mums on the other hand probably won’t even bat an eyelid, and it’s always good to have a second opinion before you go careering off to the doctor’s to tell them about your child’s worms… which turn out to be digested banana.
2. For chatting to at 3am
Who else is going to be awake and willing to discuss the latest episode of GBB but another mum also trying to stay awake for the 37th night feed?
3. For spending maternity leave with
It can get really lonely when everyone is back at work and you’re on your own with a baby and I really missed the banter and camaraderie of the office environment.
Thank goodness for other mums who are able to meet for a coffee, or come over and chat while the babies stare at each other.
4. For crying down the phone to
We all have those days. Mum friends will be able to relate and will know just the right things to say. Or if they don’t, they might just show up with biscuits.
5. For not judging you or your home for being a mess
Because when the baby’s ill, or teething, or you haven’t been able to wash your hair for six days, they won’t even comment because no one has their shit together all of the time and last week, it was probably them.
6. For discussing kids’ TV
For example how annoying Peppa Pig is, why Paw Patrol makes no sense and which CBeebies presenter is your fantasy husband (Dr Ranj, obviously).
7. For understanding the importance of milestones
Your baby put its own dummy back in? Only another mum will understand how amazing this is.
8. For passing on hand-me-downs
Especially when on the second round of babies, it’s great to be able to pass things on to each other.
It saves money and keeps things out of landfill too, win win!
9. For making soft play fun
Is there anything more dull than sitting there with a cup of rubbish tea watching the kids play?
Take a friend, have a chat, turn it into a social occasion.
Yes, this is the highlight of your week now.
10. For a mum’s nights out
…And not judging you when you forget you’re out of practice and need to go home early!
To all my ‘mum friends’, I thank you deeply from the bottom of my heart for your love and support over the past six years. I couldn’t have done it without you!