The trouble with social media: The Complaints Department

Spending time pissing about on social media might seem like most millennials’ idea of an ideal job (yes, I am actually a millennial, technically) but building an audience on social media for your blog is actually serious business.

When I started my first blog, many many years ago, there was no such thing as social media.

Facebook didn’t exist, there was no Twitter and definitely no Instagram. My blog was a space to write about things that interested me, and the idea of drawing strangers to my online journal was entirely alien.

Fast forward ten, fifteen – OK 20! shut up – years, and it’s all about the hits, the followers, the engagement which is the big blogger buzzword. It may not be why I initially started this particular blog, but if I want to make it work then they are the things I have to consider.

I love social media, I do. I’m a bit addicted, really.

Engaging with real people is the lifeblood of blogging. I’ve formed some amazing relationships through social media, both in my personal life and as a blogger. And let’s face it, when you get that viral post, it is amazing; a real high.

But it’s very much a double edged sword.

Social media gives readers an easy way to feed straight back to you, and they aren’t all going to love everything you put out.

Now, disagreeing is one thing.

Someone disagreeing with your point of view, respectfully, does not make them a troll.

We can’t all parent the same, be the same, have the same opinions. That would be utter madness. Living in a bubble does no one any good.

Trolling, complaining and being nasty for the sake of it is quite another.

It saddens me that it’s now thought to be an inevitable part of blogging, a job that now pays the bills, which I love and highly recommend, that you’re going to face this at some point. And you will, because some people just can’t help themselves.

You may laugh at the irony of this, given that spilling opinions is basically all I do (and I have been known, on occasion, to troll the odd right-wing nut bar; I never said I wasn’t a hypocrite), but at least bloggers tend to keep their thoughts to their own spaces, and their own easily-avoided social media feeds. You can block or mute them, they’ll even never know, and you’ll probably both be happier for it. Simple.

Anyway, here are some of the top complaints and as you can see, I’ve taken my time to address them individually:

This does not directly relate to my life, I must tell you

Generally when something is about being a mum, and they are a man. I can usually predict this one, and then I fill in my bingo card as it comes in.

Here on my blog, I write about my own life as a thirty-something working mum of two who likes things like clothes, house stuff, food, wine etc etc. I have no idea what being a teetotal stay-at-home dad is like. For a long time, I was happily married and living in a family unit – and the posts I wrote at that time reflect my experiences then. I also have no idea what it’s like to be childless, have 17 children or be a parent to twins or teenagers. How could I possibly? So I don’t write about those things. Just what I know and what I live.

Whatever your circumstances, I’m absolutely certain there is a blog out there that mirrors your life somewhere because every other person is a blogger these days, but I can’t really help it if this one doesn’t.

I don’t find this funny/I can’t work out if this is a joke or not

That is fine, not everyone will have my sense of humour. I’m amazed anyone does to be honest. The best thing for you to do is to scroll past and go find one of those people that does ‘hilarious’ pranks on YouTube, or a video of cats playing the piano.

The internet is a delightful smorgasbord of content; go, find something that makes you laugh until you fall off your seat.

I don’t think you should write about politics

STAY IN YOUR LANE, funny mummy blogger person. ONLY write about things I WANT TO READ. I follow you ONLY for your parenting observations, and I don’t CARE if your kids are too old and sensible to write about, or if there are bigger issues in the world right now. Your personal opinions are invading my space, and I simply don’t know how to ignore them!

Roughly translated, what this means is ‘I voted Tory, and I don’t like you slagging off the Tories even though they’re demonstrably incompetent and probably evil because it makes me feel bad about myself’.

I DGAF. Sorry. Go follow Lee Hurst instead.

You can also read this post, which is all about why I won’t shut up about politics.

I find this offensive

There is plenty of stuff on Facebook which is objectively offensive; hate speech, homophobic and transphobic rants, animal cruelty, Donald Trump’s face.

You have to scrape reaaaally hard at the bottom of the barrel to find pithy tweets about being a parent or not liking a particular brand of chocolate (honestly) offensive, and yet, people will and they will go out of their way to tell you how much you’ve hurt them. I know this now and have come to expect it.

Dude, it’s a Facebook status. Calm the fuck down.

Try to remember that not everything you read on the internet is directly aimed at you, and that actually offence is taken and not given, and at least on my part never intended (unless you’re a twat, or a Tory/Trump supporter although the two are not mutually exclusive) and you’ll lead a calmer, happier life.

I don’t like the adverts/sponsored posts

As much as I would absolutely love to do this for free, I’m lying. I wouldn’t. I actually need to pay my bills and stuff. Adverts are a handy way to get paid for the work you do without having to bother people too much or rely on them buying things from you. Most websites you visit have them, as do magazines, tv shows… you get my drift.

If you want free, advert-free entertainment or information, I suggest your local library.

How DARE you block me, I must have my say!

There seems to be a general misunderstanding that if you’re a person putting out content on the internet, you have to take any and all opinions on it. Turns out, nope! You are not owed the right to reply; I’m not your MP.

If you personally insult me or are just generally unpleasant – to me or the other people that comment on my stuff – I’ll block you for my own sanity. If you reply to a comment I’ve made on a public page, and you’re a bellend… Guess what? Block! If you’re taking up too much time or mental space and bringing nothing to the table… Bye! The funny thing about social media is that, unlike being trapped on a train next to some flag-shagging Brexit wanker, I don’t need to listen to your opinions any more than you do mine.

I especially don’t need edgy dudes playing ‘devils advocate’ on all my posts, cheers though.

NB If you’ve been a prick on one platform and found yourself blocked, following me to another or attempting to get all up in my inbox is just insane. The reason I blocked you is because it’s free, and easy, and I wanted to.

Stop moaning, my life is worse.

No, you stop moaning. Or perhaps go make your own website? It’s cathartic.

I spotted a typo

Tell me in a DM goddamit.

In summary…

If you have a problem with what anyone is putting out onto the internet, at no cost to you, in their own time, unless it is breaking the law or is otherwise deeply problematic on a much higher level than ‘I just don’t like it’ or ‘it does not resonate with my own personal world view’ then my advice would be to scroll on.

Unfollow, mute, get on with your day. You don’t need to tell them you don’t like what they’re doing.

You don’t even need to acknowledge it.