Paypigs, subs and financial domination: My week as a Twitter Findom goddess

What is Findom? What are Paypigs? I found out so you don’t have to; you’re welcome. If you are here because you’re a Paypig desperate to send someone money, go right ahead. If you’re here because you’re a Findom Goddess and you want to leave your details, then I’m afraid you’re going to have to set your own website up.

Most people like money. At the very least, they find it useful. And when it’s on offer, and there are rent and bills to pay and no back up plan other than this very blog, it is very hard to turn down.

So if someone offers you some for free, no strings attached, you say yes. Right?

I found a brand new side of Twitter, where that’s exactly what happens. Let me introduce you to Paypigs.

First, a bit of background (feel free to skip this bit…): When I first started using Twitter to promote my blog, I mainly followed other parenting bloggers. I somehow amassed over 16,000 followers but aside from the odd scrap over baby led weaning and whether it was OK to leave kids in the car to pay for petrol, it was extremely dull; a lot of very mundane scheduled tweets about making pumpkin pie and days out at farms in Yorkshire. When I got banned from Twitter for calling Matt Hancock a stupid cunt, which I’m still LIVID about because he definitely is, I started using an old account.

The friends I’d made along the way were the people who helped me to build up my second account and for the most part they weren’t parenting bloggers, who seem to spend their time fannying about on Instagram, using peach filters and liking each other’s posts rather than on Twitter.

A lot of them – notably Lucy Goes Dating (RIP, you can find her here now), Dating Dad, Bumbling Dad and my friends Suzannah and Eds sat more in the ‘Dating Twitter’ sphere so a fair number of my followers came over from that. Among them were a lot of brilliant, intelligent and funny women, and Twitter became a great place to hang out again. And then I got banned. FOR NOTHING. Absolutely FUMMIN. (NB I got my accounts back in the end – thanks Elon I guess?!)

My subsequent attempts to make a new account just to keep interacting with my friends were all doomed to failure, and deleted within moments. They had hold of my IP (funny they can’t use it to block people who continually abuse women?) and they weren’t letting go. It wasn’t until a friend set up another account for me that I could get back into the world; cautiously so as to fly under the radar at first.

And then I was bored, I had COVID and I posted an old picture from Timehop.

For some reason it was liked, and retweeted to the point of being pretty much viral for me and my low Twitter following, and I unwittingly became aware of a different subset of Twitter entirely; pervert twitter.

Where everyone is fair game, women are seen as nothing as sex workers and the men – who all have empty profiles and go by FirstnameLotsofnumbers – have literally no respect for women at all. Having my face retweeted in between porn clips was great fun, and my inbox became a complete binfire. I got a sore finger from all the blocking. It wasn’t even a great selfie to be honest.

Among the romance scammers and the downright wronguns were some messages that intrigued me a little.

Can I send you money, goddess?

Umm… Why the hell would you want to do that?

Because you are superior to me and I am worthless, and I want you to drain me.

Um, OK. Are you after pictures or something? Because I have to tell you that ain’t happening. Not even of my feet.

I just want to serve you. Have you heard of Findom…?

So, what the hell is Findom? And what are Paypigs?!

Findom stands for ‘financial domination’, and it’s a legit kink according to Google.

Essentially, subs or ‘paypigs’ – usually men, but not always – give money to women for merely existing, to spoil and spend on themselves. They might buy them clothes, pay for their drinks, or fund beauty treatments etc. In return they want to be told that they’re a worthless loser, have their wallets drained and their lives ruined. It’s a kind of dom/sub relationship but with money and without the sex, which seems nuts to me, but you do you hun.

But, I like money, and I like content, and I’m not certainly averse to wasting time chatting to strangers, so I thought I thought I’d do a Louis Theroux-style investigation into just whatever the merry fuck Findom was and write about it. I tweeted about my intentions and even discussed it directly with people that I chatted to, so don’t worry. I’m sure that they’ll all furiously get off on this.

There were unsurprisingly, a lot of time wasters in the Findom world.

I decided the best way to test whether someone was a legit paypig was to send over my PayPal address, and then wait. If they sent money they’d get a reply, if not, in the bin with you sir. It’s unbelievable the number of people who say they want to send you money, but actually don’t, or say they are into Findom but actually want to buy pictures of your feet or your used pants – definitely not my bag. I don’t own enough pants for that.

The first guy I actually spoke to was SUPER keen. I’m talking, made three accounts to talk to me, and even when I’d blocked him kept trying keen. It was fairly obvious that it was him as he kept pushing the same thing; he wanted me to be big in the world of Findom, he wanted to help me make loads of money and he wanted me to post all my paypig’s ‘sends’ to Twitter.

That was a bit of a red flag. I don’t mind being an undercover weirdo, but not on the timeline, please. I’m sure you get off on that, but I’ve got memes and jokes to tweet, my dude, and I might need a real job one of these days…

He sent me about £40 in total, pretending to be different men, before I blocked him. He then demanded his money back or he would go to the police, which I thought would be a brilliant job for the police call handler that day. I like to think it taught him a lesson on how to not be a prick.

There were a few other paypigs who genuinely just wanted to be told how sad and pathetic they were.

They wanted to be ‘financially dominated’ and give all their money over to women who demanded it. After a singular interaction and a ‘tribute’ – usually about £10-15 – I expressed my thanks in a ‘you’re a useless piece of shit but actually I’m grateful k thnx bye’ way and mostly they left me alone. I guess in this biz it’s standard to hit up your ‘paypigs’ and throw around a few insults when you want money, but I’m not really that kinda girl.

One in particular told me they’d bought three dresses from my Amazon wishlist. I’ve had a wishlist for ages, the same as I take Ko-Fi donations – it’s a way to express thanks if someone has found something on my site useful or enjoyable and it make me happy when someone buys me something I want, or makes a small donation. I don’t feel I owe them, because they get all this remarkable content for free. Ahem.

She (yep – apparently this one is a woman) claimed to be an American neurosurgeon living in Ukraine (yikes!) and she sent me screenshots of the payments leaving her bank account, which happened to have almost a million quid in it. It really had all the hallmarks of a scam, but then she went silent on me, so who the hell knows.

She told me that she was treated like a ‘god’ at work, but outside of it she was just a loser who wanted to serve superior women. I can’t say whether Reena – or her bank balance – were legit, and I never got the clothes, but if they were a scammer, they weren’t a very effective one as they didn’t get anything from me.

Some, I suspect, just wanted someone to talk to.

A few were more chatty. They weren’t likely to spend loads of money on their ‘goddess’; for them I think it was about buying their time and attention with smaller gestures rather than having their lives ruined by poverty.

I asked these ‘Paypigs’ them what they got out of sending money to women, and why they did it. I got the impression eventually that they were just a bit lonely, and wanted someone to talk to. I didn’t have the heart to tell them that they could probably get that kind of interaction for free, by joining random Facebook groups. They would definitely be able to get abuse easily; just hit up the Daily Mail comment section and say something like ‘Kids shouldn’t be allowed to starve!’ and your inbox will be absolutely full of people calling you names.

Who is into Findom?

I asked the ‘Paypigs’ what they did for work. I asked, and one had a cleaning business, one ‘worked from home’, one worked in the city and one claimed to be a neurosurgeon but was probably talking rubbish. Being anonymous they had no reason to lie, but to be honest I doubt that would stop them.

So is Findom for me?

I never thought I’d be one to turn down basically money for nothing, but here I am. After a week of giving it a good old college try – and making a few hundred quid plus some clothes – I can say with some certainty: no, it’s not the world for me.

On the one hand, there is money to be made, and it’s certainly better than joining an MLM. However there are lots of reasons why I’m not going to continue.

It may not seem like it given there is no exchange of sexual content but, ultimately it is a sex thing: people are getting off on the fact they’re buying you stuff or giving you money. I mean you can’t stop people doing what they do, really, and at least you’re getting something in return but being aware of it is a bit icky.

There’s the slight nagging feeling that somehow you owe something to these people, whether it be interaction, pictures or insults. I have absolutely nothing against sex workers; sex work is work, but it’s not my world.

I don’t disapprove and I’d never kink shame, but I do think there are healthier ways to spend money than on Findom.

I can’t say whether the person sending money is actually a millionaire neurosurgeon or an addict pissing away their benefits, and while it isn’t my problem, and if they weren’t giving money to me they’d be giving it to someone else, there is always that nagging feeling that you don’t want to harm people. Demanding money from people who can’t afford it – even if they get off on it – is something I felt a bit uneasy about.

But ultimately the hardest bit is that I find it hard to be mean to people and call them losers. This is pretty ironic given that most of my time on Twitter is spent doing exactly that – but to people who deserve it. I did TRY, but it’s just not in my nature to be a domme.

I could probably do it under an anonymous profile; I did consider it briefly, but having looked at the sheer amount of women doing the Findom Goddess thing (and putting a lot of effort into it) it’s a pretty tough market to crack, unless like me you happen to do it entirely by accident.

Shame really… Guess I’ll have to keep on keeping on.

Are you thinking of getting into Findom?

If after reading about Paypigs you’re thinking ‘I could do that’ then I guess go for your life. No harm in trying I guess! However, please don’t leave your PayPal address here. If you’re going to do it, then you need to build up your own audience of Paypigs, don’t try and rip off what I’ve built here. It’s rude and I will remove your details from the comment anyway. The only other people reading this are other women looking to make money, not men trying to send money, and I am almost certain that the market is pretty saturated at this point.

If finding your own Findom slaves sounds like hard work, why not consider blogging as a more family friendly way of making money?

If you enjoyed this and you’re feeling generous, you can buy me a cup of tea or a glass of wine – or donate to my houseplant addiction fund – here.

You can also see my Amazon wish list here.