A trail of mass distraction (another life update)

Three weeks have passed since my last way-oversharey post and I thought I should write an update. I’m not sure why, really, but I’m sat here at my fancy new desk (review pending, naturally) and with my kids back in Kent it’s very quiet; I just need something to engage my brain for a bit.

Obviously, there are a lot of things I should be doing instead.

I should tidy up the kids’ bedrooms after they spent the majority of the weekend trying to make it feel more like home by emptying out everything they could onto the floor, I should go and strip my bed where I spilled tea on the sheets. I need to go to the shops because I don’t have cheese or bacon and that’s a dangerous position to be in, and I probably should get some kind of exercise in too, even if it’s only a quick walk.

I need to find a local GP practice, contact the council and chase solicitors. I need to review my new desk and write various blog posts about things too boring to talk about here. I need to work out why the heating comes on at strange times and why the dishwasher doesn’t actually clean anything. I should put some washing away, and flatten the cardboard for recycling. I’ve got two more boxes of possessions to unload and find homes for, and four big bags of clothes, toys and DVDs to take to the charity shop. All of that boring, mundane adulting stuff.

But despite my growing to-do list, I seem incapable of actually doing anything useful.

I’d so love a brain that can concentrate on a task until completion, like a normal person. I always start out with excellent intentions – I even have a whiteboard, I’m that set on getting stuff done – but as soon as I get out of bed there is already a series of unfinished chores littered around the house, where I got half way through something and then wandered off to start doing something else.

A trail of mass destruction. Or, more accurately, distraction.

Anyway, where was I…?

Ah, update time. Here we are!

• I’ve been in my house for over a month now, and slowly (very slowly, see above) everything is slotting into place and I have to say, it really does feel like home; I think it’s down to all the cushions.
• I’m now entirely off the antidepressants and have been for almost a week. I think I got incredibly lucky as it was easier than I was expecting it to be; I got dressed every day last week and everything. I practised self-care (had a lot of baths, had my hair cut, got my eyebrows done, told a lot of people to f*ck off), I went out, saw my friends and basically did as much fun stuff as possible to take my mind off things. It worked well enough. I won’t say that every moment since I started reducing them has been a joy, but I feel more like myself and hopefully it’s the first step to getting back to where I want to be.
• After my crash, my car insurance paid out without a fight (hurray!), although I’m still driving a battered roller skate because I’ll probably need the money for rent. I miss having things like boot space and a working radio, but it gets me from A to B even if it rattles like wonky trolley while it’s at it.
• I realised it doesn’t matter how much you miss your kids when they’re away, you’ll still get annoyed with them within 25 minutes of seeing them. Possibly not even that long. That is the great Separated Parent Guilt; miss them like crazy and then long for some free time – and it’s something I really need to deal with better.
• I am still loving my new sofa. I’ve had a fair few afternoon naps on it. Five stars.
• I’m still overweight and lazy. Can’t win them all, at least not overnight. One thing at a time, etc etc. I’m hoping that now the meds are out of my system that the motivation will kick in at some point, because right now all I want is crisps and cake, and it’s very cold to be going outside.

Anyway, hopefully I’ll be back with some kind of funny post soon… You never know. Maybe hit up Aunty Fran with your problems (go on, do it, here) and it’ll give me something to do, rather than go around making a nuisance of myself on Facebook.

Speaking of which, I leave you with the greatest hits from this week’s ‘pissing about in comment sections’.

Have a blessed day.