When you start Christmas in November, an elf cries

Parenting and life

Have I been in some kind of coma, or is it still November?

And if it’s still November as I suspect it is…

Why can I not scroll Instagram or Facebook without seeing a bunch of Christmas trees, Christmas jumpers and matching Christmas-themed Pyjamas?

Now, before you call me a grump, hear me out.

I love Christmas. I’ve definitely warmed to it a lot since my kids are older and more able to understand that Father Christmas is watching and you have to behave. It’s basically my go-to empty threat from October through December, and it is truly magical.

From October to December my parenting style can be best described as 'I'm calling Santa'

It’s not just about that though.

Christmas is exciting when you’re a child. Five is pretty much peak-Christmas-excitement because you totally buy in to the magic, you can write your own letter to Santa, you get to do a nativity play. Another reason why five is awesome.

There is one thing more exciting than being five at Christmas, and that’s having a child who is five at Christmas.

Getting to actually be that magic and see their amazed little face.

They’re still young enough for you to project into their brains what they want for Christmas, and they’re unlikely to be really disappointed if you don’t get exactly what they asked for (because what they asked for was a pet unicorn) because the fun of the festive season will sweep them up.

Yes there might be stress over food or Christmas day arrangements, because adulting can never just be fun can it, but all in all I’d say this is as good as it gets (until you have grandchildren, obviously).

Levels of Christmas excitement

Super scientific and accurate chart depicting levels of Christmas-excitement

So no, I’m not a complete Christmas grinch.

I’ve mellowed.

BUT.

BUT.

It’s creeping too much into November for my liking.

The 1st December falls on a Saturday this year; that’s prime Christmas-tree putting up time, if you’re into that kind of thing. Your tree can still be up until the first week of January; that’s over a whole month, more than 1/12th of the year, when half your living room can be legitimately taken up with tacky sparkly shite.

It’s more than 31 days to hear I Wish it Could be Christmas Every Day and All I Want for Christmas is You on repeat.

Four whole weekends to visit grottos and do all the Christmassy things your little festive heart could desire.

Over 744 hours to have access issues because no house has enough space to randomly site a six foot tree without displacing or blocking something.

We don’t need more Christmas time.

I for one don’t want to dilute the specialness (totally a word) of Christmas by letting it drag on forever.

It’s frustrating for the kids; they don’t understand why it’s not Christmas yet, why there are no presents, why they still have weeks left of school.

If we peak too soon, by the time Christmas rocks around the kids will have exploded with excitement, or else be bored of it already. I know I would be.

Meanwhile, as adults we are going mad congratulating ourselves on social media for getting our Christmas shopping done and wrapped before December has even started, when actually it is absolutely acceptable to Amazon Prime it all on 15th December and wrap it all on Christmas Eve.

I mean, it’s totally your choice… But save Christmas for December, and no elves have to get hurt in the process.

Remember kids: Every time someone puts up a Christmas tree in November, Father Christmas stamps on an elf.

Agree? Disagree? Never felt so much unbridled rage? Leave a comment!

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