Did you buy one of those Christmas Elves in a moment of festive madness which you now deeply regret? Panicking because everyone seems to have amazing Elf on the Shelf ideas and you seriously can’t be arsed?
Are you totally stuck for Elf on the Shelf ideas?
Well don’t worry, for I am here to provide help and guidance! Here is a typical day-by-day Elf on the Shelf routine for the festive month of December.
December 1st
Who’s that at the door? A cheeky elf has arrived with his luggage; two chocolate advent calendars wrapped in a bow. What a lovely elf! Where has he come from? He has a letter…. He’s been sent by Father Christmas of course! He’s here to keep an eye on you, to make sure you behave yourself!
Let’s give him a suitable festive name. Elfy. Let’s choose Elfy. That’s original.
December 2nd
Elfy has stuck googly eyes on all the fruit. What a scamp.
December 3rd
He’s swinging from the tinsel! What a brave little Elf.
December 4th
Today he’s got the crayons out and has done a drawing of the family. How lovely.
December 5th
Elfy is in the bathroom and the impish soul has made a mess by spraying shaving cream everywhere, and covering everywhere in toilet paper! What a to-do. The kids think it’s hilarious. You’re going to have to clean that up you know… Perhaps rein it in a little from now on.
December 6th
Today he’s been making pancakes for breakfast! There is flour everywhere, what a sight – and he’s been making snow angels. Did you not listen to yesterday’s advice? You’re going to be late for the school run.
December 7th
Where is Elfy? He’s scaled the Christmas tree! Nice and simple today. Well done. More of this kind of thing.
December 8th
BOO! He’s crept into the kids’ room and has been watching them sleep. In retrospect that’s a bit creepy. Sorry kids.
December 9th
Today he’s in the doll’s house in a compromising position with Barbie! Guessing that mum and dad had a drink last night. Unoriginal, guys.
December 10th
He’s on a shelf. Looks like someone may be running out of ideas.
December 11th
He’s moved to the other end of the shelf. Come on, pick it up a bit. Look at Pinterest for goodness sake. Do you even deserve to be a parent?
December 12th
Where is Elfy? He’s using the potty, and there’s a little chocolate Elfy poo in there. Nice?!
Almost half way, you can do this!
December 13th
He’s set up the whole train track and is playing with the trains. Come on kids, pay attention, that took bloody ages and I don’t do this for the good of my health. Appreciate it, you ingrates.
December 14th
He ate all the chocolate off the tree! Shhh, no one needs to know it was daddy’s Christmas do last night and he might have come in late and done it himself… That is the magic of the elf.
December 15th
Elfy has written a letter to Father Christmas to tell him whether you’ve been naughty or nice. Judging by mum sobbing in the corner at the idea of three weeks preschool-free, it’s probably only going to go one way.
December 16th
He’s… ah. He hasn’t moved. Mum and dad had a bottle of wine last night and forgot about the b*stard elf until they were already tucked up warm in bed, then argued about whose turn it was to get up to do it… So no one did. Sorry kids.
December 17th
He’s swinging from the lampshade! The kids meanwhile are totally ignoring him. Why are we bothering with this?
December 18th
He’s, uh… Not given a second thought, too busy doing Christmas stuff. Sorry Elfy.
December 20th
The dog found him and gave him a good de-stuffing. There’s quite a harrowing scene. RIP Elfy.
The kids don’t seem to care, they prefer the chocolate advent calendars anyway. Mum and dad are visibly relieved.
So there you go! I’m now totally out of Elf on the Shelf ideas, and I don’t really care.
Merry Christmas everyone!
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I can’t bring myself to do this for fear that I will miss a day and will have a distraught daughter one morning. I do like seeing other peoples ideas though x
This is brilliant! Laughing at M&D having a bottle of wine & forgetting him. Am waiting to see if Mr C will remember to do Day 2 tomorrow. Not hopeful!
I am just glad we missed this trend by a couple of years!
I tried and failed last year so haven’t bothered this time around lol
I’m with you on this one, do not care one bit!
The wine bottle and forgotten Elf! That’s us 🤣 Just glad my eldest doesn’t see other Elfkin antics otherwise he’d realise how boring our Elf is. 🤪
Ohhhh, is this what you are supposed to do with Elf on a shelf, move him daily ? ! Lol.
Last year he sat beside the minature Christmas Tree Barbies and families. All December !