Stop the mum-guilt: Ten things that I refuse to feel guilty about

Parenting and life

There is nothing quite like mum guilt to make even the most confident woman slightly crazy. You don’t think it will happen to you, but it does. Pretty much the instant you give birth you start feeling guilty for something; I blame the new-mum hormones.

However now those hormones are long gone, there are some things I just flatly refuse to feel any guilt for.

1. Not having natural births

had two c-sections and I have absolutely no negative feelings towards them whatsoever; not at the time nor afterwards.

I have never so much as experienced a contraction but not once have I looked at my children and wished they’d been born via the natural route. I’m just happy they were born healthy.

The day he was born birth Hospital

2. Hating play time

The words ‘Mummy play with me’ fill me with dread.

Being honest, I find playing with children ridiculously dull.

I don’t like sitting on the floor because it hurts my bum, and I don’t understand the rules so I’m always being told off.

Playing is boring

I’d much rather be out and about, or doing something with rules like a board game or a jigsaw, or better still letting them play on their own whilst I drink a cup of tea in the name of fostering independence.

Fortunately for them, my husband is an excellent player, so I don’t feel too guilty about it.

3. Using the electronic babysitter

Sometimes, like every mother in the history of forever, I have other, often important, things to do which mean my children have to be left to entertain themselves.

When I’ve got a meal to cook, or an unexpected deadline, when school is shut but work still has to be done or when I just need to not have people whining at me for a bit, CBeebies can be a lifesaver.

Watching TV

4. Spending money on myself

My children often look like little catalogue models while I’m wearing five-year-old leggings with holes in them, but if I want something then I buy it goddamit.

5. Outsourcing

As I suggested in this post about having your dream Instahome, the key to keeping your home sparkling clean is to pay other people to do it for you. I know it’s not possible for everyone’s budget, and some people (shudder) enjoy scrubbing their bathrooms until you could eat out of the toilet, but I am a-OK with getting a cleaner to come in and do the jobs that I hate and I absolutely do not feel even a remote twinkle of guilt.

If it’s the mountain of washing that’s weighing you down, Laundryheap will come and pick up all your washing, and bring it back to you clean, dried, ironed and ready to hang within 24 hours. I’d even let my family think it was me.

6. Freezer teas

potato letters alphabites

Some days, I cook a lovely homecooked meal. Some days, I can just about be bothered to get fishfingers out of the freezer.

Guess which one they’re more likely to eat anyway?

7. Coveting bedtime

Becoming a parent is the best thing I’ve ever done, but even so, sometimes the thought of sitting down in front of the TV watching junk and having a glass of wine is the only thing that keeps me sane.

Being a stay at home parent can be very lonely, and some days can, well, suck. I refuse to feel guilty for not cherishing every damn moment when the kids are overtired and being feral.

8. Eating their sweets

With Halloween, birthdays and then Christmas all in a short space of time there are a lot of sweet treats making their way into the house. I feel strongly that teaching them to share is very important. Even if they don’t strictly know anything about it.

9. Enjoying ‘me time’

I’ll admit, the first time I dropped them both off at preschool and skipped (ran) away, I came home and had a cup of tea and thoroughly enjoyed the silence without an ounce of guilt.

Cup of tea

I just came back from a long weekend away, and I have to be honest, I enjoyed myself without much thought about what they’d be up to. I came back home, and that’s the main thing…

10. Being proud of my children

I will never feel guilty about talking about my children at every given opportunity, and to anyone.

I’ll unashamedly spam my Facebook and Instagram with pictures of my kids. #Sorrynotsorry

Siblings at broadview

This is a collaborative post however I have retained full editorial control and all pictures and words are mine.  

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Ten things I refuse to feel guilty about as a parent/mom/mum - mum guilt takes no prisoners #mumlife #momlife #beingamom #momhumor

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  1. Amelia 21 November 2018
  2. susankmann 26 November 2018

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