This week’s ‘best’ social media binfire came courtesy of Sports Illustrated and plus size Japanese/Dutch model Yumi Nu. I don’t mean it was her fault; she did nothing except perhaps dare to have the wrong kind of body to appease the menz, and to be wearing a swimming costume on that body when she appeared on the cover of the swimsuit edition of SI magazine.
If you’re interested, here is the magazine cover.
There are alternative covers featuring Kim Kardashian, and even Elon Musk’s mum(?!) but they haven’t got anyone up in arms really. Not like this.
As cover stars go, Nu is a little bit different.
It’s not unfair or untrue to point out that she’s larger than the models we usually see gracing the covers of magazines, which is given away by her being a plus size model. She doesn’t have a classic athletic physique; she has a normal-looking body, like you might come across at your local swimming pool, as well as a very conventionally attractive face.
She hasn’t been artificially sculpted and, happily, she hasn’t been awkwardly photoshopped to within an inch of her life either.
These are things that you will probably notice. You can’t help noticing things.
What you can help, of course, is voicing those thoughts and saying (or typing) them out loud and in public for everyone to hear, which the incels of Twitter just could not stop themselves from doing.
Each one was falling over themselves to tell the world that they really didn’t find her attractive and they definitely did not want to shag her.
The tweets went like this:
(FYI I am definitely not suggesting you go and look at the profile pictures of these bronzed Adonises to see where in the hell they got the audacity, not at all)
Yada yada yada, you get the picture. It’s a depressing scroll.
Basically, these men think their opinions on women’s bodies are somehow relevant to anything and worthy of sharing. Over, and over. And over.
The one to beat it all was this dude, who basically ended up hounded off Twitter.
Or at least he said he was leaving, made the papers, but still seems to be hanging around like a bad smell.
With 2.7 million followers, you’d think he’d be a bit less of an annoying shitbag, but there you go. That’s his entire personality. That’s how he got those followers.
Anyway, my thoughts on this are, roughly, as follows:
1. You do not speak for everybody
You, dear FirstNameBunchofNumbers with your 29 bot followers, are not the centre of the universe. You are not The Main Character in this show and you do not speak for everyone. Even you, Mr Peterson, with your hefty following can’t pretend that you know what any of them are thinking and you can’t presume that your thoughts are echoed among them.
Attractiveness is a very personal thing. We all have different preferences in a mate – thank god huh – and you, sweaty man in your mum’s basement, don’t get to tell people what they can and can’t or should and shouldn’t like.
Women of all shapes and sizes exist, and find love. I certainly relate more Yumi’s body type than Kim K, and I’ve done alright (but no, I’m not asking for your assessment). Shock horror.
Multiple women have shagged Boris Johnson for god’s sake; I am not pretending to understand it but it seems that people’s taste can vary. Wildly.
2. It doesn’t matter if you find her attractive
It affects nobody. You just… Didn’t need to say it. No one needs to know. Shhhh.
The only time that your opinion on anyone’s attractiveness actually matters is when it’s the person you’re romantically involved with (and you probably shouldn’t be discussing that on Twitter either, to be fair).
Women don’t owe you anything. We don’t owe you pretty, or thin, or sparkling conversation or anything at all actually. We do not exist for your enjoyment, and we do not need men’s approval. Fuck off with that nonsense.
Which brings me on to the next one:
3. She does not care if you want to have sex with her
She’s a successful model, it’s highly unlikely she’s looking to slum it with some nobody from Twitter, or even someone with 2.7 million followers who looks (and I quote) like ‘a child’s skeleton covered in mayonnaise with dryer lint on the top’. Ouch.
She’s not going to be sobbing into her ice cream because DannyBoy7253 whose last girlfriend left in 1996 thinks she’s too chubby for him.
She never wanted to shag you, so don’t make out like you’re turning her down. It would be embarrassing, even if you didn’t look like a potato.
This isn’t just about models.
After all, dealing with dickheads is probably part of their job description by now I’d guess, sad as that is. I’d imagine they have had to grow pretty thick skins in order to make it in the industry, especially since social media became a thing. I’d bet they don’t read the comments at all; why would you?
But it seems that everyone is fair game for opinions now. My friends and I have all had pictures stolen from twitter, re-posted by random men and even rated out of ten – yes, people do that – it feels incredibly creepy, weird and violating.
It doesn’t even matter if that feedback is negative or ‘positive’. ‘8 out of 10, would bang‘ is not a compliment, and it is degrading. I wonder how these men would feel if they had to rate their own sister, or mother? It’s beyond comprehension that anyone thinks it’s OK to do.
We – and indeed most average woman on social media I’d wager pretty confidently – do not want the opinions of random strangers on our appearance, unless it is specifically solicited.
Which it isn’t.
I genuinely do not care, thanks.
Anyway, I think the world would just be a nicer place if men could keep their opinions of women’s appearances to themselves.
They might even find that if they were less awful, they might get laid once in a while. You never know.
True, to think I actually bought Jordan’s book at some point.
Love the content! When are you doing another “ask aunty Fran”?? Those always make me snort into my morning tea XD
Best wishes
Aunty Fran can only answer other people’s questions and none were forthcoming… Maybe one day!
I’m glad you covered this. And people wonder why eating disorders are so rampant in todays day and age.
That’s actually a great point. Whereas older women who are confident in their skin can happily tell these sad twats to fuck off, younger women may be affected by what they read. That’s really sad.
Men: “you’re unattractive”
Women: “what on earth makes you think i’d be looking to attract you?!”
They’re like insects, you know they exist somewhere but you don’t give them a second’s thought because they’re inconsequential then they come buzzing in your face.
Ha that’s it exactly.
Absolute spot on 💯%
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Amen to that! Speaking as a woman whose body is no longer SI worthy, I applaud this lovely model’s courage to put herself out there. Take a look around you men…. that perfectly airbrushed version of the female form doesn’t exist in real life. And while you’re at it, grab another beer. That belly needs maintenance.
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