Paw Patrol: I have some questions

Permit me a very Paw Patrol heavy day, but…

My son loves Paw Patrol.

He would watch Paw Patrol all day every day if he could (he can’t). He wears Paw Patrol clothes down to his pants and socks, he has Paw Patrol toys; he’s a marketer’s dream. I on the other hand am largely oblivious to it. If he’s entertained, I’m doing something elsewhere, so I recognise that I am late to this party.

However, having just sat through 6 episodes of PAW Patrol back to back* (and having to actually watch them because I had no WiFi), I have questions.

SO many questions.

I’m glossing over the fact that the entire emergency services provision for Adventure Bay has been outsourced to a (possibly orphaned? who knows. Neglected at the very least) 10 year old boy and a group of talking dogs. Let’s just accept that bit for a minute like it’s a normal thing.

To start with… some logistical queries.

My biggest: How does it make sense for them all to go back to the lookout tower before just two or three pups are sent on whatever the mission (read: Mayor Goodway’s fuckup) is? Could they not sort out a better pager system given that they seem to have all the technology they desire (I wonder who signs that off)?

It seems wasteful and inefficient to get the whole Paw Patrol to travel all the way from wherever they happen to be, to then send them back again because they’re not needed.

I can just imagine Rubble rolling his eyes and thinking ‘Not again, I really don’t give a fuck about sea turtles, call me when you need something smashed up’.

And really, if we’re being honest, like the staff within government agency some of those pups are really useful, and others just don’t appear to pull their weight at all. In these days of austerity do they really need Rocky there all the time? Surely recycling is now fortnightly in line with everywhere else?

And then there’s the other Paw Patrol characters…

Adventure Bay residents really are the worst, and the absolute bane of the whole town is Mayor Goodway.

Although I love seeing a woman in a position of power on a kids’ TV show, I do have to question whether she was recruited due to some kind of positive discrimination after the Adventure Bay emergency services were slated for only having one female member because let’s face it…

The woman is an incompetent idiot verging on the clinically insane.

She keeps a pet chicken in a bag for fucks sake.

Actually, thinking about it, she must be elected. Is the chicken elected too? Either there is corruption afoot, or you have to seriously worry about the electorate. I guess though it’s about as believable as Donald Trump being the US president.

But anyway, in my opinion Mayor Goodway needs to quietly ‘disappear’ (in the same manner as Norman Price should) to reduce the ridiculous one-woman strain on the emergency services. The bay is after all right there, and everyone would suspect Mayor Humdinger.

And lastly….

Chase is a bit of a dick isn’t he? Just me?

On that note, I feel I need a glass of wine.

I have definitely put to much thought into this.

YELP FOR HELP.

*If your kid, like mine, just can’t get enough of Ryder and his team of pups (and your local cinema does have Wi-Fi), check out the new Paw Patrol Big Screen Takeover in Vue cinemas from Friday 19th October for over an hour of Paw Patrol/resting your eyes during the half term holiday. More info about it can be found here. We were invited along to see if for free. Warning: All the episodes have Mayor Humdinger in them.