We received tickets for the Alcotraz London prison cocktail bar experience in exchange for this review but words and pictures are my own.
After lunch on Saturday (and a brief recovery period from some spicy Goan monkfish and excellent lentil daal at Dishoom), we headed across town for something a little different. And by different I mean… we got thrown in prison.
Voluntarily, of course. I haven’t completely lost the plot (yet).
We’d booked in for an Alcotraz London experience, one of the new activity bars in London where you don orange jumpsuits, smuggle in your own contraband, and spend the afternoon being bossed about by theatrical inmates and served custom cocktails behind bars. And yes, it’s exactly as ridiculous as it sounds.
Welcome to the clink (the air-conditioned kind)
When you arrive at Alcotraz in Shoreditch, a very short walk from Hoxton tube station, you’re met by one of the prison wardens who gives you a little spiel and hands you a bright orange jumpsuit. It’s… not flattering. But everyone’s in the same boat, and after one cocktail you stop caring and start leaning into the theme.
You’re asked to smuggle in your own alcohol in a sealed container; in our case, a bottle of posh gin that had been gathering dust for over a year, and a small of cheap supermarket vodka for variety.
There were several groups there – some brides-to-be in fancy dress, a couple of groups of Lads Lads Lads, and some wonderful women approaching their older years who had taken the directive very seriously and strapped their booze to their undergarments prior to arrival. There were also a few couples like us who were obviously after something a bit different for a Saturday afternoon.
I’ll admit, I went in with a fair bit of apprehension. Anything that describes itself as immersive theatre usually makes me want to fake a phone call and/or death. But I’m pleased (and slightly surprised) to report that the Alcotraz London experience is actually good fun, even for sensible people who hate audience participation.
Cocktails behind bars: The Alcotraz London experience
Once you’re ‘processed’ and given your lovely jumpsuit, you’re shown to your cell. We shared ours with another couple; there’s room for up to six people in each one but that would be very cosy. They’re decked out impressively with non-working loos and grubby sinks and lots of mood lighting. It’s not hard to get into the role.
PS: Don’t worry, you aren’t actually locked in, and you can go and have a wee in a proper toilet whenever you fancy it.
From there, the inmates (extremely committed actors-cum-mixologists) take your smuggled spirits and start whipping up bespoke cocktails, asking a few questions about your preferences but mostly just going wild with creativity and flair. Ours were great – although our cellmates brought tequila in with them and we were feeling brave when we said we’d give it a go, even though tequila cocktails make me pull funny faces.
Not knowing what to expect is half the fun, so I won’t give too much away about the loose ‘story arc’. But there’s shouting, improv, cell searches, the warden looming and yelling at people for their crimes.
The cocktails themselves? Genuinely good, and I am something of a cocktail connoisseur. You don’t get a set menu – as mentioned everything’s made based on what you brought and what kind of mood the bartender’s in, but we had some margaritas and some nice fruity ones and… something with a cumquat in it.
The drinks were icy and well garnished and they kept coming; we had four in total while we were there which was enough to give us a bit of bravado when begging for parole with the head warden at the end.
So, is it worth it?
In a word: yes. We were there on review tickets, but we agreed afterwards that even at full price – a not-insignificant £43 per person, plus the cost of whatever booze you bring – it was worth the money for a really different, memorable afternoon (and some Instagrammable photos). You get to take your leftover alcohol home with you (assuming you have any left).
It’s also worth saying: it’s indoors and cool, which is no small bonus when London is 29 degrees and your thighs are starting to melt.
There’s plenty of laughs, no pressure to perform or join in if you don’t want to, and crucially: no actual prison sentence at the end. Just a buzz and a vague urge to rewatch Orange is the New Black.
If you’re planning a London day out with a difference, a birthday celebration, a hen or stag do that doesn’t involve dancing with strangers dressed as genitalia, or just fancy doing something silly with your friends that isn’t another afternoon in a loud pub then the Alcotraz London experience could be worth a try.
Final verdict?
If you like:
- Cocktails
- Theatre you don’t have to participate in beyond drinking
- Taking lots of photos to laugh at later
- Being drunk by 7pm and still home in time for pyjamas and a takeaway
…Then Alcotraz is well worth a visit. There are also locations in Manchester, Brighton, Bristol, Cardiff and Liverpool, so you don’t even have to brave London.
Will it last the distance? I don’t know. It’s not something you could do again and again, so it may well end up merely as a prison-themed cocktail bar – which would still be cool. But it was sold out when we went at 4.40pm, so you never know.
Check out the Alcotraz website to book your own boozy prison adventure.
