Ten things that piss me off

A bit of back story: A fellow blogger and Twitter friend, Tracey, who writes at Hooks and Dragons, wrote a post about things that pissed her off, and she tagged me to do the same. Not a clue why she thought of me…

The alternative this week was a long post about Donald Trump and his ‘brush’ with Coronavirus, or perhaps playing a game of ‘who are the slopey-shouldered government blaming now?’ so I thought this would be better for everyone.

AND I’m going to do this without any of the points being specific people, because that would be way way too easy right now.

1. My laptop

It constantly sounds like it’s going to take off and keeps bloody turning itself off for no reason. Appreciate this one isn’t really relatable though, so I’ll keep it more general from here on in.

2. People who share nonsense memes without fact checking

You’d think that after several decades of experience using the internet that the majority of people would understand that just because something is written in bold text over a picture, it doesn’t necessarily mean it is true, but here we are Susan, here we are.

This has increased a hundred fold since Coronavirus became a thing, probably because people have a lot of time on their hands to fall down rabbit holes.

If we are Facebook friends and you have shared anything about Coronavirus being a hoax, vaccines and microchips or something with a #SaveOurChildren hashtag then you might want to text me any important life updates because I can promise you that they won’t be appearing on my feed.

3. Period pain

Entirely unnecessary. Sort it out.

4. Spots

Those too. Seriously, I’m almost thirty fucking seven this is not fair.

5. People who cannot accept that some things are jokes

It is TIRING to see people leaping to offence at every occasion. Yesterday a Twitter friend of mine had an angry person leap into their DMs to tell them they’d been tactless and inappropriate for saying in a throwaway tweet that they were ‘starving’ having missed lunch. It is simply not acceptable to exaggerate for comic effect these days, apparently.

I’ve written a whole post on this particular breed of arsehole here.

6. Email exchanges with rude people

It feels like I wade through THOUSANDS of the fuckers every week. (Edit: I’ve compiled the worst here).

Them: Hi your website very nice, I like your article. I want guest post. How much for guest post? I write very good content. About cats.

Me: Oh, I dunno. £200.

Them: This is too much! Your website is shit! I offer you $3.

Me: No, please fuck off now.

Them: OK $5. Your website is worth no more!

Me: No! That’s insulting. You are being insulting. Double fuck off.

Them:

Add that to the PR people who want you to work for exposure and honestly some weeks I wonder why I bother.

7. People who refuse to accept that you can have nuanced opinions on varying subjects

OK hear me out. There are so many people that think because you believe X, then you must also believe Y and Z. This pisses me off daily on Twitter, particularly when it comes to politics.

You might think this is strange because I am a committed leftie and I can’t bear the government but the reality is that in life, it isn’t as simple as goodies and baddies (although Trump and the current cabinet are definitely baddies).

Taking governmental advice on wearing masks, for instance, or agreeing that a certain policy has merit doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re a government sheep or a Tory licker – it probably just means they actually listened to scientists for a change, or ripped it off another party. Same goes the other way, I’m sure.

The annoying thing is that these people would probably be absolutely fine down the pub or at least you could just walk away from them mid rant.

8. Smug people who delight in recounting events of nights out

Drink or don’t drink, it doesn’t bother me. I am very aware that people don’t drink alcohol for many many different reasons and I understand and support that. If I go out of an evening and I want to have a cocktail, I will, and if you don’t want to then don’t. Fine, glad we are agreed on that.

HOWEVER I don’t need to be smugly reminded of when I fell over the step (it’s OK, I have the bruises to remind me) or came out of the loo insistent that I’d made a new best friend or tried to chat up the barman because I thought he looked like Chris Hemsworth I just DON’T. The rules of my evenings out are that the details are a delightful mystery lost to the sands of time.

9. COVID

Just fuck it, fuck everything about it.

Fuck the illness itself, fuck the impact it’s had on the economy and people’s livelihoods, fuck the government’s piss-poor response, super fuck their blaming everyone else but themselves for everything, fuck Serco, fuck the COVID deniers and the anti maskers and just fuck it all.

10. Disappointing tea

There is a place in hell for people that make shit tea, especially when you’re paying stupid amounts in a café for it. Two quid for a tea bag, some hot water and milk and you still fuck it up? Get in the bin.

I am the kind of person who will happily pay through the nose for a shit haircut and leave with tears pricking my eyes without uttering a single complaint – I’ll probably even leave a tip – but don’t you DARE try to make me drink shit tea or I’ll go all ‘let me speak to the manager’ on you.

Fin.