Corona lockdown week (almost) 11: Lockdown is easing but has FOMO become fear of going out?

Read the rest of my Corona Lockdown diaries here.

After ten weeks, lockdown in England is easing. There are only a few days left until schools reopen, and a matter of weeks before non-essential shops can trade again.

Even though many have argued that the R-rate isn’t as low as it should be – and in some areas (including mine, yay) we are warned that the peak in COVID19 patients has not even been reached yet – there is no denying that the economy is totally buggered, and the very rich people who are actually in charge of everything are losing a lot of money.

It is imperative that we all start spending money on pointless shit again without delay.

Understandably, when this plan was revealed early in the week, a lot of people were pissed off at the idea that in a few weeks’ time they would be able go to Primark and stand in line with a hoard of strangers to buy cheap t-shirts that someone else may well have just licked, but still could not sit in their mum’s garden and have a socially distanced cup of tea.

Then on Thursday, in an announcement which was not-at-all intended to take people’s minds off of the farce that is allowing Dominic Cummings to remain in his post (everyone has moved on, according to around 10 Tory MPs and a lot of people on Twitter with 31 followers and no pictures, so let’s not discuss how angry we all continue to be at the whole episode, there’s a good sport), our blundering potato-in-a-bad-wig Prime Minister revealed that as of Monday 1st June we will be permitted to meet with up to five other people from different households in our own private gardens.

Thoughts on whether it’s advisable, safe or makes sense aside, we are officially allowed to get some kind of normality back.

Of course, many have been doing this kind of thing already – and some (mentioning no names, Mr Cummings) have been making their own rules up entirely.

Others have been working the entire time and for them life has remained fairly normal, just with less traffic and without KFC.

But there is no doubting that for some of us who have been at home and following the rules as closely as we can, the prospect of them now being lifted, and being free to see groups of friends and mix with strangers in shops is a bit of a scary one.

I’ve gone from having FOMO to FOGO.

Having the choice of staying in or going out, I know where I’d rather be.

For the past ten weeks, we have been living in a world where every stranger, every friend, every relative is a potential asymptomatic carrier. Nobody is safe. It’s going to be so hard to shift that mindset – especially when the science doesn’t convince me otherwise.

I wonder whether I – and probably many others – have become institutionalised. My own house has become my safe space. We have visited the same small number of places and rarely stepped outside of our new COVID19 lockdown routine.

More often than not, going out has been a frankly terrifying affair.

I used to love clothes shopping; not even to buy things, sometimes just browsing and trying things on to pass the time. I’m really not much of an online shopper at all; since lockdown began I’ve bought exactly two items of clothing (dresses from Silkfred, which were a present to myself after a big campaign) and I also drunk purchased a quite wonderful pair of glittery DMs that I have no clue when I’ll ever wear.

I much prefer – or preferred – trying things on and buying from a shop. Between that and going to the pub, they were my favourite pass times.

But now, the outside world is full of people brushing past in the supermarket to reach for the sausages, joggers coming up closely behind without warning, obviously desperate not to lose that 4 seconds on their morning run.

Shopping for the essentials is bad enough to reduce me to tears, I certainly don’t want to go browsing in Topshop. I watch TV shows, shot long before COVID19 was even a glimmer in a pangolin’s eye, and I feel instantly panicked by the crowds and the lack of distancing.

Ten weeks doesn’t seem that long in the scheme of things, but it has had a profound impact upon many people’s mental health, my own included.

I think that some of us may struggle to adjust back into some kind of semblance of normality.

Even if I had no concerns about the spread of the virus, I’m not sure I would be able to handle it right now.

I question too whether we will even want to, after realising that we can get by without spending money on pointless crap all the time.

Not just clothes shopping; we previously ate out at least once or twice a week, but since lockdown we haven’t had so much as a takeaway, and we’ve been fine.

Perhaps it will be a bit like riding a bike – scary at first, but then as we get into it, we’ll realise it’s fine.

Or maybe the wheels will come off and we’ll fall off and crash; I guess we’ll see.