When selling second hand goods on the internet, there are some things that should always remembered. I kindly summarised some of the key guidelines for you here.
However, apparently for people selling mirrors, further guidance is required.
Having reflected (?!) on some of the worst mirrors for sale posts around, I have come up with The Ten Commandments Of Selling Second Hand Mirrors Online (snappy huh?!) and here they are…
First, some general ground rules which actually apply to more or less everything…
1) Clean your damn mirror before you list it on Ebay or Facebook.
Get a rag, and wipe. It’s not hard.
Who could even be bothered to upload this for £1.99? The only place it belongs is in a skip.
Previously seen acting as a posh seating plan; bet they wish they’d used Pritt Stick now. Still, it isn’t anything a bit of sticky stuff remover wouldn’t solve. Let’s hope the marriage fared better.
2) Staging is important.
You won’t sell a house if it’s a shithole and the same goes for ‘stuff’…
Declutter your goddamn room before you photograph it! You don’t need to deep clean the whole thing but believe me if you can’t even be arsed to SHUT A DRAWER nobody is going to pay you £70 for this:
Is that a collection of toilet rolls?
3) Try to stay on the right side of creepy AF
You know this comes alive at night time.
Has this person even got a head though?
4) Make sure the photography is up to scratch.
Another good lesson to live by; if you can’t tell what it is, it ain’t going to sell.
I don’t even understand how this is so bad, were they taking it through a fog?
This feels like an optical illusion…
5) Give it a good product description.
Is it a boat? A sideboard? I don’t know. It looks like a cupboard to me but what the hell do I know.
Nice to have a sink in your room though. Fancy.
6) I can’t state this enough; try not to appear too much of a nutter.
Remember that people have to come to your house in order to exchange their money for your goods and so you don’t want to terrify them too much.
I literally have NO CLUE what is going on here but it’s a lot to take in in one image.
7) Check your angles
It appears that the reflective nature of mirrors can be somewhat tricksy.
The mould on the ceiling really brings it to life.
8) If you can get yourself out of the photo, that would be great.
So damn close.
9) …But if it can’t be avoided then check it over before uploading to the internet.
For instance, you might want to crop out sleeping friends and relatives…
I guess that’s one way of showing off your new tattoo…
What the hell happened to that floor? Pelvic floor not up to scratch or something?
Good lord.
10) If in doubt, sex it up a bit for a sure-fire quick sale.
Check out that ass. How can you say no?
And I’ll just leave you with this…
Most importantly remember, you can’t go wrong with a bit of nudity.
Wait, is he relieving himself in that drawer?!
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, this is the weirdest of them all.
(Sorry).
Why not pin this for later?
Omg this has cracked (sh*t pun) me up!!! Why? Just why?
You need to write a post on mattress sales etiquette too. Some of those ads are naaaaaasty!
Personally I see nothing wrong with number 10…