Where do I go from here? The blog of a Stay-at-Home mum minus the kids

In a few months it will be four years since I pressed ‘publish’ on my very first, entirely cringe-worthy blog post.

Back then I had a whole load of topics that I couldn’t wait to write about – obviously in a way that no one had ever done before (yes, I think we all really think that at some point; how naive we are…).

I had opinions on everything from co-sleeping to cry it out, breastfeeding to weaning, and I was happy to share them and fight my corner.

Now, I don’t really have strong opinions on any of those things.

I’m out of that ‘zone’ and I really couldn’t give a toss how you raise your baby – I don’t care if you feed them blended McNuggets (although I’d suggest don’t bother; baby-led weaning is so much easier and a nug is a good size to grip).

Even if I did have opinions – and I do, on some things, like politics and the fucking shambles that is that fucking tosser Boris fucking Johnson and the fuckinng unmitigated disaster that is Brexit, for example – I don’t want to waste my life arguing with people on the internet about them.

My love for debate has dwindled and half the time I can’t even be bothered to reply, let alone spend a whole evening proving to someone why they’re wrong and I’m right on a given subject.

I also used to write about our lives a lot.

Over the past four years my baby and toddler, and then toddlers, and then preschoolers, kept me in amusing anecdotes and I never thought I’d reach a day when I struggled to find something to write about.

But here we are.

My kids are at school now – both of them, full time. Woo flipping hoo! I’m a Stay-at-Home Mum without the kids. So, just a Stay-at-Home really.

There are only so many posts you can write about the school run and nits, and they have a very small window of opportunity each evening to do anything insanely daft. If they do something blog-post-worthy, I do tend to respect their privacy and choose not to write about it knowing that in a few years, they’ll be able to read it.

Babies are ridiculous, and stories about babies pooping in the bath are harmless – they all do it.

My kids enjoy me reading these stories back to them and laugh at the silly things they did… But no child wants to read all about their recent medical or emotional issues on their parent’s blog. That’s a line that I don’t really want to cross.

It makes it a little awkward because it’s not like I can just give up and go back to something different.

For my sins, I am a now ‘full time blogger’ and it’s more than a bit of fun; it’s my job.

I spend much more of my time these days writing about things that don’t light a fire in my soul – because that’s what I’m now paid to do and it’s how I manage to pay the mortgage and feed the kids and buy all that bloody expensive uniform that they manage to lose on their first day; that kind of thing.

My days are taken up with photographing things, editing pictures, writing reviews and making sure that they’ll be picked up by Google searches even if that means they’re fairly clunky and boring.

I still enjoy it – writing is writing, and I’m happy to be working from home, and I love mucking about with new toys – but it’s not all I want this blog to be.

I miss the fast and furious typing of a blog post written in anger or humour.

So I guess I’m wondering, where do I go from here?