This post was developed via a partnership with BetterHelp.
As a parent, it is likely important to you that your children are cared for in the best way. This is why it is necessary to understand attachment and how it can affect your kids as they grow up. Here’s a look at what it means and how you can ensure that your child develops secure attachment.
What is attachment?
Essentially, attachment is the bond that a child will have with its parents. When a baby’s needs are met and they feel like they can count on their caregiver, this generally results in a secure attachment. On the other hand, if their needs aren’t met, this could cause a child to develop insecure attachment, which may cause issues for them, even as an adult.
To find out more about attachment, you might want to look at BetterHelp. This resource has additional information to read about.
Secure Attachment
If a child has a secure attachment to their parent, this means that they have had their needs met and been reassured as much as possible. This doesn’t mean that you have addressed every one of your baby’s cries, but it does mean that you probably behaved in a consistent manner when it comes to consoling your baby and providing them with the things they needed or wanted.
This can allow a child to be able to develop healthy relationships in life and they may also be confident as well.
Insecure Attachment
There are two types of insecure attachment that a child may experience.
Insecure Avoidant
With this type of attachment, a child may not have had their needs met at all times, or they might have not been able to count on their parent. This may cause a child to do their best to work out their own problems and not worry about what their parent is doing. If you have ever seen a child ignore their parents when they come into a room, this may be because they were experiencing insecure avoidant attachment.
In adulthood, this attachment style could cause a person to stay closed off and have difficulties trusting others.
Insecure Resistant
When a parent has not addressed their child as they were crying on a routine basis or has not provided them with the care that they needed, they may have an insecure resistant attachment. This could cause the child to have difficulty calming down once they become upset. They may also need to know where their parent is at all times, but when they see them, they are not interested in spending time with them.
As an adult, an individual with this attachment may not trust that others care about them in relationships and have issues handling a breakup.
Disorganized Attachment
This type of attachment is sometimes experienced when a parent is physically or emotionally unable to care for their child. This could be because they are young, have a mental health concern, or experience substance abuse. They will be unable to address their child at the proper moments and soothe them like they need to.
When a child with this type of attachment grows up, it could cause them to feel that they need to take care of other people. They may not understand how to act in serious relationships as well.
Overview
There are a number of attachment styles that your child may develop, depending on the care they receive when they are in the first stages of their life. However, when you are consistent with doing your best to meet their needs and comfort them as much as possible, this could lead to them developing a secure attachment style, which is the most common type of attachment. All you can do is try your best and provide stable care.