This post was produced in collaboration with Mediumchat
The phone rings. It’s them. Things haven’t been going well. The text messages have soured of late, and friends are starting to notice that changes in the group dynamic are afoot. People are even taking sides. You answer the phone, unsure of what tone to take in your simple “hello”. You go for something in the middle, not too harsh, but not entirely friendly either, something that sounds expectant and ready for anything. “We need to talk”, they say. This is it. No going back now. Time to take the bull by the horns and get through these next few hours, and days, and weeks, and even months, and pretend your new dramatic hairstyle and random red highlights aren’t the result of a breakdown. This too, shall pass (try mediumchat.co.uk for somewhere to ask questions and gain insight). But until it does, there are things you can do to lighten the load on your mind. Let’s take a look at how to get over a break up.
Start with a detox
In the long run, this won’t matter much, but starting with a detox is a great way to begin feeling like there’s a plan, like there are some blueprints being written and some scaffolding being put up and that will eventually pave the way for a future you. So, what do we mean by detox? Write down all of the negative qualities of the person that’s gone. This could even include some semi-positive qualities that could use a little improvement in your next relationship. Next, box up their belongings. Finally, cleanse your social media. Break-ups are tough, and there are going to be some moments where you feel alone, but tearing off the plaster early is infinitely more healthy than hanging on.
Closure doesn’t exist, but good times do
The detox will only get you so far – we’re not suggesting for one moment that a list of negative qualities, a box with a hoodie in it, and a few deleted social media connections will result in a miraculous wave of happiness, but realising that closure doesn’t exist and that time will eventually bridge all gaps is a leap of faith you’re going to have to put up with. Speak to your friends. Meet up. Go to a gig. Join a running club. Go to a beer festival. Pick something that you want to do and write it in your diary. Having small things to look forward to will help you to prevent feelings of dropping off the ‘life’ conveyor belt, which we can all feel after a split.
Rebounds are never a great idea
Rebound relationships are fantastic… for about an hour. Or maybe a day. Or a couple of days. Who knows, you might squeeze a whole week out of it. But sooner or later, filling the void with another person that hasn’t earned the ‘relationship you’ that you’ll be trying to force on them to continue your life as normal will make you feel hollow again. Best to play it cool and wait for the right bus, not the next bus.