We’ve all done stupid things when drunk, massively tired or otherwise not of sound mind.
I mean, not me. Obviously.
I’ve never fallen over, or left my mobile in a taxi, or completely forgotten who I’m talking to, or serenaded a room full of strangers with a song I couldn’t actually remember the words to.
Sadly perhaps, as you get older you go out less so you have to find a new outlet for your stupidity.
According to Dafuq Is Dis members, they reckon drunk shopping is now the answer.
I once told the tale of a late night purchase 45 loo rolls from Amazon, more than I’d have had space for in the house, but like the kind people they are they lost it in shipping. However this pales in comparison to some of the stories they had to tell…
Amazon’s ‘one click’ option makes drunk shopping far too easy.
Not drinking but I was on tramadol for a while a few years ago. I had quite a few surprise packages. Didn’t help that I was a few months into maternity leave at the time so money was quite tight! Amy
A friend of mine once ordered his entire Amazon wish list when pissed! Not being very good with online banking the first he knew about it was when stuff started turning up! Andrew
I, for one, love this plan. It’s like a subscription service except you know you’re going to love everything that arrives. Go on. Go to Amazon now and do it. You deserve it.
As does eBay…
Especially handy for drunk purchasing cars, for some reason.
After several Dame Ednas, I bid £1000 on eBay for a Plaxton bodied 55-seat Volvo coach once. Not sure where I’d have parked it, I struggle to even park the car in my street! Mike
A guy I used to work with bought a Jeep on eBay when off his tits; £5000. He was quite a prolific seller as well so to keep his ratings 100% he went through with the purchase. Nick
I bought a Citroen 2CV on eBay when I was pissed one night, had to drive 200 miles to collect it, thankfully it was not as described so I got out of it. I did end up buying a MK1 Golf cabby the same day though. Stuart
Tickets seemed to be another common drunk purchase
I book tickets to random events in the future. Phil
Tickets to a production of Carmen arrived a couple of days after a couple of lunchtime drinks turned into a heavy session. One and only time I’ve been to an opera but quite enjoyed it. I’ve also ended up with tickets to see one year’s Turner Prize shortlist exhibition after another session. I’m usually more of a sport and low brow cinema person so alcohol must cause a craving for culture, culture and jellybeans, I bought a few kilos of them whilst pissed too. Steven
Sometimes drunk you treats you how you deserve to be treated…
I asked Facebook who had bought me these gifts, turns out it was drunk me. Jennifer
My mum’s friend ordered a load of flowers for herself and had to phone the company in the morning to see who ordered them. Morgan
I booked an imminent holiday to Vegas. Thankfully I got the leave from work and had a great time! Becca
I wish drunk me was this generous.
…Other times, they are far, far too practical.
I was on a very strong cocktail of pain relief after I had my youngest daughter because I broke my coccyx in labour. Let’s just say, the Tesco food shopping that arrived was really interesting 18 tins of beans, 22 tins of spaghetti and loads of other completely random stuff that wouldn’t make a meal. It took years to eat all those beans, most of the spaghetti went to the food bank. Not forgetting 20 packets of bananas. I wanted 20 single ones but I was so off my face we got 20 x 6 packs. Dolina
I once bought some phone insurance when smashed. Katie
To be fair this would have been a great purchase for me.
But the winners are…
Roll up ladies and gents, for these are my two best drunk purchases I’ve ever heard.
I bought a lamp shaped like a flying saucer tractor beaming up a cow from Australia. Forgot all about it until I got a customs note saying I needed to pay import tax! Cost me a bloody fortune too lol. But have to say I bloody love it though Best drunk buy evah. Martin
I know someone who got drunk and discovered you can pay to change your name by deed poll online. Sobered up to learn she had changed her name to Wonder Woman and then had to pay again to change it back! Tim
I’d have left it as Wonder Woman, brilliant name.
What have you bought while drunk or otherwise inebriated? Can you beat these stories?
This is a collaborative post.
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