DIWhy did we bother?: A step by step guide to doing it yourself

How tos & advice Parenting and life

We’ve just had the kids’ rooms decorated, bought them new furniture, the works.

Lucky kids eh. Wonder if it’ll stop them from spending so much time in my room? Ha.

Knowing the kind of people we are (ie lazy and bad at DIY) we did pay someone else to paint the rooms, or else we would probably have never got round to it.

That accomplished, yesterday was spend in Ikea picking out new furniture and convincing ourselves we desperately needed new things which we definitely didn’t and now have to squeeze into our bulging-at-the-seams home. Well we will, once we’ve built the darn stuff.

Ikea DIY fails

If you told me that Ikea flatpack was the number one reason for divorce I’d bloody well believe it.


Personally, I firmly believe that home improvement is something best left to the professionals.

A quick look in the Facebook group DIY on a Budget can only confirm this (although I was mercilessly thrown out at some point. I do so miss the fablon and diamantes).

However, if hiring somebody isn’t your thing and you really want to go down the DIY route then this handy step by step guide, with stories from my pals, is sure to help.

First off, check Pinterest for inspiration.

‘I saw a Pinterest image of a geometric wall, using masking tape to make different triangular sections and then painting them all different colours.

Except I went for the cheapest masking tape I could find because I needed so much of it and ended up with something that looked more like a really terrible camouflage print. The tape hadn’t stuck properly so the colours had bled and mixed together. In retrospect I regret the bright colours; what a pain that was to paint over’

Top tip: next time buy Frog Tape, it’s worth its weight in gold. Or paint the wall one colour like a normal person.

Ensure you have the proper tools for the job.

‘A while ago a friend and I were laying a new wooden floor, we didn’t really have a workbench or anything and so used the computer desk instead. While cutting down one of the wooden planks, I somehow managed to saw part way through my computer desk too.’

I mean, there’s a reason workbenches exist.

That includes the safety gloves and goggles.

‘My Dad almost chopped his thumb off by cutting a hole in a sheet of plasterboard HE WAS HOLDING! He claimed he didn’t feel it at first and it wasn’t until he saw the blood he realised he’d started cutting his hand instead.’

Carefully remove features you don’t want.

‘My Mum decided she wanted to change the lights in the dining room and get rid of the ceiling rose. She decided she was going to do it herself despite never, ever doing DIY. She ripped a lovely big hole in the ceiling that day.’

Next time maybe just buy a new light fitting to hide it?  This one should be big enough. After all, if you can’t see it then it didn’t happen.

Then comes the painting and decorating.

‘I redecorated my front room a couple of years ago. I left the windowsill until the very end because the cats liked to lounge there. Locked the cats outside and went to bed. Came down the next morning to find cat prints EVERYWHERE, all over the floor, all over the black leather sofa, everywhere.

Turns out my husband left the window open to get rid of the paint smell so the cats had come back in anyway.’

What can I say, cats are dicks. As are husbands.

And new flooring, so exciting!

‘I went to visit someone who put fake grass instead of proper flooring in their downstairs loo. I did not take my shoes off.’

I pray this person doesn’t have any boys, or a husband. That could get awfully soggy.

Once all that’s done, it’s time to build the furniture.

‘We recently bought my eldest a new cabin bed as he’s in a box room and needed more storage, but because he is in the boxroom there wasn’t space to actually build his bed in there so we built it on the landing area instead. Yes, you’ve guessed it. We couldn’t get it through his bedroom door.’

Sounds like the landing is his bedroom now.

By following this handy guide you should now have a completed DIY project.

Wasn’t that easy.

This is a collaborative post.

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DIWhy did we bother?! A step by step guide to doing it yourself with funny stories to make you feel better about being slightly crap at DIY! #humor #DIY #funnystories #parenting

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