8 things that happen when parenting solo

Parenting and life

It is a truth universally acknowledged that when you’re solo parenting your children will be up multiple times in the night and then wake up obnoxiously early.

I once wrote about a solo parenting weekend. I don’t do them that often; less than a lot of people, and definitely less than the wonder women (and men, of course) who do it all day, every day with the occasional break of a few hours so their exes can boast about being parent of the year… and for that I’m eternally grateful.

But when they do happen I can promise you that the following things will occur:

1) No one will go to bed on time

I am just not very good at the whole solo bedtime routine; the bath, the story, the fielding of questions and excuses. Those kids know just how to play me.

And, although I should take the opportunity for an early night… I inevitably don’t. Even though I know that I’ll be up in the night and/or early. That’s just how I roll.

2) One or more children will wake up in the night

Of course they will. Why wouldn’t they?

And they’ll want daddy, but he won’t be here, and so they’ll cry, and they’ll be up for ages for no good reason even if they haven’t done it in ages.

3) … And wake up really early

Hello 5.23am, how nice to see you said no parent ever.

It’s usually the small one that loves to wake with the dawn chorus. He is hit and miss now he has a gro-clock but when it’s just me on duty, it’s always a miss.

I have to admit that despite being fairly well versed in it, I don’t deal with lack of sleep well. If I’m tired, I can’t be arsed at all. It really helps the weekend go quickly.

4) I will somehow have run out household essentials

For example, milk or bread or in a worst case scenario, loo roll, chocolate or wine. But I don’t have the car at my disposal and obviously can’t nip out to get anything once the kids are asleep.

5) Someone will usually be sick

If it’s not one of them, it’s me, but there is nearly always vomit, poop,  phlegm or something else unnerving and disgusting to deal with.

6) Something will get broken, lost or otherwise cause a breakdown

There is no greater time for the dishwasher to pack in than when you’re facing a whole week alone while Daddy is in Ireland for work.

This time wasn’t so bad, but him heading off into the sunset just as the last set of crappy batteries run out of the prized new Ariel doll was fun.

7) There will be a kid’s birthday party to attend

You can’t ask a friend to reschedule their wedding just because your wife doesn’t really like going to children’s parties alone, apparently.

8) I will let the dog out in the garden and forget about him for a little while, he’ll make a break for it and I’ll have to run down the street after him in my slippers

EVERY TIME. Bastard bloody dog.

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8 things that happen when parenting solo (AKA Sod's Law in action). When I'm on my own and parenting solo for the weekend, some things are bound to happen. #momlife #mumlife #parenting #momming #soloparenting

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  1. Perdita Tinsel 16 April 2018
  2. Alyson Long 18 April 2018

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