My two year old wakes up really early and I’m totally fed up of it

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(This is traditionally where someone pipes in with ‘Well mine wakes up every hour to breastfeed still!’ or ‘Mine doesn’t go to bed until 10.30pm whatever I do!’. Calm down, it’s not a competition. I don’t know why sleep does that to people. Maybe it’s the sleep deprivation).

Shit sleep is shit for everyone that it affects.

We are all in this together. Whether that is being woken up multiple times a night to locate a drink or being woken up at arsehole-o-clock everyday, if you’re regularly not getting enough sleep it f*cking sucks.

That’s where we are; the early morning wakings. In the most part, on a good week, he’ll go down around 7 or 8pm and sleep right through… Until about 5-6am the next day.

Every day. For two years and four months. I think once he slept in until about eight, but he was ill and had been up most of the night being hot and whiny and kicking me in the face. Still, it felt luxurious at the time.

When the day starts at 6am, it doesn’t seem so bad.

That’s a kind of normal time to wake up, even if it is seven days a week FOREVER. When it’s nearer – or god forbid, BEFORE five am – then that’s going to be a really a crap day. That’s a day when I don’t want to leave the sofa, when I don’t want to clean up Play Doh, when I don’t want to mum. It happens WAY too often.

Thank god I don’t have to go to a real job where people depend on me to have a working brain.

Five am wake ups also come with a delightful soundtrack of  screaming, being punched, kicked and sometimes even bitten.

He’s not all that happy about being up either you see, although he’ll staunchly (loudly and violently) deny it. ‘I’M NOT TIRED!’.

For the past week, we’ve had to take the long route to preschool because the attached school is still on holiday and the nearby gate is shut. As it’s a little further than usual, I’ve taken the buggy with me and about half way there he has climbed in. Two days out of four he’s fallen asleep on the way back, by about 9.10am. A two year old shouldn’t need to nap at 9.10am.

I feel like I’m on the edge today.

Broken. Totally knackered.

On the way back from preschool, I took my sleeping child to do some errands, and then went to the shop where I bought biscuits before taking a stroll through the park and eating them. Half an hour later, he is still asleep.

I’ve necked two cups of tea and I am totally torn between going to take a nap myself (I never seem to be able to; could be the excessive tea consumption) or doing something useful, but I settled for writing this instead because I can’t face doing anything else.

I’m really tired.

I don’t want advice (cheers though eh) because I already made a sleeping one, so I’m fairly sure there’s nothing you do or don’t do that makes your kids crap at sleeping. There is no magical spell you can cast (aside from medication, we’ll not go there though…yet) that will suddenly make them see the glory of a lie in.

And trust me, if you think you know a way to do it, we will already have tried it.

No, I know it can’t be ‘fixed’…

I’m not really looking for solutions anymore. They say that an hour of sleep lost is the equivalent of necking a shot of vodka, but believe me it is way less fun. I must be basically hammered all the damn time. I’ve almost accepted that this level of tiredness is normal now. I’m not going to feel myself again, not for a few years if ever. I just want a cathartic whine.

If you’re tired as balls, feel free to do the same in the comments here or on Facebook:


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