An all-inclusive buffet is a magnificent idea – well, until you bring children. To adults, it is an edible theme park; to a selective eater, it is a brightly lit warehouse in which 47 suspicious foods are touching. One child wants plain pasta. Another has discovered chips and considers the matter closed. The teenager is inspecting everything with the grave suspicion of a health inspector who has just found a rat in the tiramisu. Oh well.

The great buffet stand-off

The first mistake is arriving with expectations. I see abundance and imagine the children joyfully exploring Mediterranean cuisine; they see one chip that has made physical contact with a courgette and declare the entire plate contaminated. I then begin negotiations worthy of the United Nations. What if you try one pea? Half a pea? Stand near the pea? 

This is how an ordinary dinner becomes an international incident conducted while strangers next to us eat their paella. As anyone who has survived the five tiresome stages of dinner time will know, bargaining rarely ends with a child embracing aubergine. It ends with a parent eating two dinners because wasting food feels immoral after paying for it – even though eating everyone’s leftovers is apparently how my body ends up functioning as the household food-waste bin.

Start with something safe

A familiar “safe” food can stop the whole meal feeling threatening. This does not mean constructing a beige fortress from chips, bread rolls and plain rice, although I have seen children display architectural talent under pressure. No, it means letting them begin with something they reliably eat, then adding a tiny amount of something unfamiliar if they are willing. Small is crucial! A teaspoon of vegetables can look approachable; a catering ladleful looks like punishment.

The NHS advice for fussy eaters recommends small portions, repeatedly offering previously rejected foods and avoiding force. It also suggests considering what a child eats across a week rather than panicking about one meal. This is especially reassuring on holiday, when dinner may otherwise become an anxious daily audit of vitamin intake. A child does not develop scurvy because Tuesday’s plate consists largely of bread and something described as a “potato smile”. 

Start small, allow seconds and spare both the buffet and yourself the tragedy of six untouched sausages.

Sneaky curiosity 

The buffet does offer one fantastic advantage: everybody can choose differently without the family ordering several full restaurant meals that will later be abandoned after three bites. But when comparing all-inclusive holidays, it’s worth checking each hotel’s dining information rather than assuming every resort has the same buffet, children’s menu or restaurant options. While meals may be included, hotel facilities and extras vary. 

Once there, I prefer a low-pressure experiment: choose one familiar item, one item you feel curious about and portions small enough that nothing requires its own forklift. Trying can mean smelling, touching, licking or taking one bite; it does not need to end with a clean plate and a parental victory speech. NHS says more than half of children show fussy-eating habits at some point and that accepting a new food can take more than 20 attempts. Attempt number four does not therefore need to become MasterChef: Resort Edition.

Teenagers aren’t toddlers

Teenagers add another level because they may not be “fussy” at all. They may have firm preferences, dislike certain textures, follow a particular diet or simply object to being publicly managed. Nothing improves a family dinner like loudly asking a 14-year-old whether they have eaten a vegetable while they attempt to disappear beneath the table. 

Give older children ownership: let them inspect the buffet, ask staff about allergens or ingredients where necessary, choose their own portions and balance what they eat over several meals. Adults can model curiosity without performing exaggerated ecstasy over a green bean. We are eating dinner, not auditioning for a yoghurt advert. The all-inclusive buffet can become a useful place for independence precisely because nobody has to agree on one menu. Adults may even enjoy it too – although a recent week in Majorca demonstrates that approaching the all-inclusive experience as a competitive sport does not always unfold as planned.

If a child or teenager is losing weight, not growing as expected, eating an extremely restricted range, distressed by food or struggling physically to eat, however, that is different from routine selectivity and is worth discussing with a GP or suitable healthcare professional.