If you love the idea of being a fully-fledged cyclist but know deep down that you’re nowhere near this, there are some steps you can take. Cycling should feel accessible to everyone but if you’re keen to role-play a hardcore cyclist, there are some things you should do to build up this persona. Even non-sporty individuals can act like cyclist enthusiasts with a little dedication.
Simply adapt the right routine and do a little research to fool others into thinking you’re a seasoned pro. Consider these tips and take a little inspiration from Team GB’s cyclists at the Paris Olympics 2024 and you’ll be there in no time!
Dressing the part
To pull the wool over people’s eyes, you’ll need to look the part. Stock up on all the gear – even if you have no idea! And the best part is you won’t even have to break a sweat.
Lycra is a cycling staple because it’s stretchy and versatile, so make sure you have plenty of it in your wardrobe. Short-sleeved jerseys in vibrant colours are a must too. To go all out, you’ll need to invest in clip-in shoes, as well as a lightweight road helmet.
Next time to walk into a café frequented by cyclists, get dressed up and splash a bit of mud on your legs for the full effect. This way, you’ll blend in with the other cyclists that stride in for a refuelling stop. This is sure to seal the look of approval from those who admire the dedication and commitment of cyclists…
And the best part? You can achieve this without even having to mount a bike.
Mastering cycling lingo
Being able to casually engage in conversations about cycling requires you to know a good amount of cycling terms. Ideally, you should be dropping key buzzwords into casual conversations. Think ‘road rash’, ‘aero’ and more.
A ‘bear-trap’ is a phrase used to describe the painful experience where your foot falls off one pedal, causing the other pedal to slam into your shin. Be sure to subtly mention your “road bike” in conversations too, even if you’ve never ridden one! It might be handy to have a fictional training regime in your head for an upcoming challenge or race. This way, you can update people on your supposed progress.
Faking the cyclist’s routine
Create the illusion of a cyclist’s lifestyle without the hassle. This might include buying energy gels and putting them on display to fool people into thinking you regularly cover long distances.
Of course, you’ll need to have a bike on display too. Make it part of the furniture by leaning it casually against the wall in your hall or anywhere else where it blends in – you could even hang clothes on it for the full effect. Be sure to invest in a high-quality road bike to convince people that know a great model when you see one.