I am totally nailing this mothering thing.
Well, around once a month on average; that’s not a bad success rate.
And April’s success story? We had another really great day out yesterday at the zoo.
The particular highlight for me (apart from feeding the giraffes and some awesome birds, although apparently the toddler is very nonchalant about the whole thing) was being able to do soft play in the middle of the day. Because, you know, too many elephants and lions and other critically endangered wild animals are boring compared to pre-chewed plastic balls and we don’t do quite enough soft play.
Seriously, everywhere has soft play now. Get the hint, Wetherspoons.
Whilst at said soft play, I took the opportunity to change nappies.
Armed only with nappies and wipes, I left my bag to reserve my chair and made my way to the baby change area which appeared to be the most popular part of the zoo on this slightly wet Monday.
After queueing to go in for roughly forever, I changed the baby first and then set him free (it looked *fairly* clean, as toilets go, and he was just clinging to my leg…please don’t judge me) while I changed the toddler. Job done. Two clean bums.
Winning at parenting and life.
Except of course, the instant I went to unlock the door he went red faced and did a huge, noisy poo. It was a really smelly, nappy breaching kind of poo which required immediate attention.
I had to emerge from the changing room (leaving my toddler in there to stop anyone stealing it) and stride, baby in arms, to retrieve another nappy and a change of vest from the bag, my back soaking up the glares of the other parents who had also been queuing since yesterday morning.
Apart from that, and the severe testing my poor bladder took on the way home because I lost track of time and decided to take the M25 at rush hour, it was brilliant; a really lovely day. I am so glad I have kids now, they’re a great excuse to do things I actually want to do. I have high hopes that, one day, they’ll enjoy the real live animals just as much as the fibreglass ones.
I wonder what May’s parenting success will be?
*Sorry about the title. It’s rather irrelephant.
Why do the explosive poos always happen out of the house?! Doing anything with little kids takes so much effort & organization. It is great to get them out & about though! #coolmumclub x
Ahh, the poo after the nappy change classic! Well done for getting the toddler on side for a bit of cubicle holding – good thinking!
#coolmumclub
They happen all too often here. Whenever is inconvenient basically!
Haha yes she's a good egg…
I love the zoo! I'm mostly impressed that yours in this post had actual Giraffes…never have them round our way anymore! BUT we are going to the zoo on Sunday yay! I just hope the only giant poo's we see are giraffes and not toddlers 😉
So chuffed you made the fINALS!!
Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub
I was drawn to this post by the AMAZING title – I'm not lion ha! We love going to the zoo, and if I've guessed correctly, we have annual passes to this particular one, but have yet to brave the soft play. It's good to know when we do, the changing facilities are equipped to deal with the inevitable poonami that happens on days out (I swear, he just gets so excited, he literally poops himself!) #coolmumclub
Ooh I hope you have a lot of fun!
Thank you 🙂
I do ♥ a ridiculous pun.
It's a great zoo, wish we were nearer!
Haha – what zoo is this? Sounds like it might be near us too! #chucklemums
*whispers* It's Colchester
Oh your pun at the end is comedy genius! I hope you didn't do it *porpoise* SORRY! I used to live in Colchester as a kid so I know Colchester zoo very well! 🙂 #chucklemums
Oh very entertaining – you are so winning on the parenting front! Soft play – pre-chewed plastic balls – so jealous! Love the way you write – really had me giggling #chucklemums
Why must they poo at the most annoying moments! Everytime!! Glad you had a great day -winning! x #chucklemums
You are totally all over this Mummy gig! Love that your report covered the main agenda…nappy changing. It is this stuff that we can all relate to. Cheers! #chucklemums
They always take a poo at the most inconvenient moment, don't they? I can't wait until we have a day with decent enough weather to take the Popple to the zoo – if she thinks our cat is exciting, lions will BLOW HER MIND. #chucklemums
Lol other parents queuing since yesterday morning. That totally tickled me. I take my little one into the toilet with me and he loves to open the door when I have my pants round my ankles.. charmer. We love the zoo..lovely post #Chucklemums
I love the zoo and can't wait to take my daughter. When I was a toddler there was a chimpanzee at the zoo near us you were allowed to shake hands with and I told everyone I met about it for weeks afterwards. Then he pulled someone's arm off and the zoo is shut down now… Not quite so chuckle worthy… #chucklemums
Love the 'nappy breaching poo', so apt, I remember the ones that spread up the back, lush! Also remember the baby changing queue hate, which completely vanishes once you step out again into the fresh air! Love the Zoo, can't wait for our trip to Longleat Safari Park coming up. A successful day out is always a parenting fist pump I find! x
Irrelephant is genius. Ah no, why do they do that!? Glad to hear you were mostly winning though! This month the zoo, next month the world!! #chucklemums
Oh man why do they always do those awful poos when you're out? Such a mission! I am just in awe that you took two children to a zoo and soft play alone. What a hero! #chucklemums
Soft play in Wetherspoons! That really is the future. I'm sure I only went to soft play once in my entire childhood, and now I find myself feeling like the world's worst mother of I have taken Piglet to soft play in a while, even though it's surely every parent's idea of Hell. #chucklemums
I love a good pun. I wanted to call this 'We love Tiger to the Zoo and I'm not Lion' but thought that might be a tad obscure.
That's lovely of you to say, thank you. Soft play is awesome.
It's what babies do. Little devils.
Well I didn't want to waste it doing a review of the animals now…
Haha you have to take her! Can't pull their tails though I'm afraid.
Thanks Jade, I can't wait for that stage. Sounds like a riot 😉
There will be a small corner of Hell with soft play in it I'm convinced! Terrible places. Don't even serve decent coffee or cake …
Oh my god I'm so going to hell but I laughed and read this to my husband whilst laughing. I am so going to hell. So so so much.
Oooh never been, but one day maybe!
Because he exists to vex me. Good job he's cute.
I figure it's open air so they can be loud and they can't really escape while we are there so it's actually quite safe place to take them. Wouldn't brave a supermarket though unless I had to!
I have since been schooled in the way of Wacky Warehouse which is a pub with soft play. Sadly, not in walking distance.
They're horrid.
Hahaha you could be right! I think being surrounded by other people's screaming children is exactly what hell would be like.
Loving the giraffe close up and excellent punning skills there!