Today is the International Day of the Girl.
I didn’t know it was a thing, but it is. And why not? Little girls are well worth celebrating. It’s also National Sausage Pizza Day so you know, there are more stupid things we could be noting.
As you’ll know, I do indeed have a girl. She is very-almost-four years old, and an utter delight as long as she hasn’t been woken up too early or gone to bed too late. A good night’s sleep and she’s a true joy; she’s clever and friendly and caring and she makes me very proud indeed. As with most very-almost-four year olds (I imagine) it’s not all plain sailing. The toddler tantrums are slowly being replaced by strops, sass and general smartarsery which I fear will not be disappearing any time soon.
But let’s focus on the positive here!
I thought it was only right to mark the occasion by reflecting on some of her many talents.
Peaks at around 7pm every evening.
“Why did the dinosaurs die?”
“Why is the moon sometimes there in the day?”
“Why does it get dark?”
“Why is wee wee yellow?”
“Why? Why? Why? Why?…”.
“That man is very old” *points* “Will he be dead soon? Like the dinosaurs?”
“Mummy, your face looks funny”.
OK, maybe she’s still learning this one.
*Admires self in mirror* “My hair is lovely.”
“Why did the pig go to the moon in a hay rocket?”
I don’t know, why?
“It’s just a joke”.
“Why did the cow have no skin?”
I have no idea, why did the cow have no skin?
“You need to laugh!”.
“Is that pizza/a jaffa cake you’re eating [in secret in the kitchen]? Can I have some?”.
Listen to me! I SAID LISTEN TO ME! These are the rules to Butterfly Butterfly Soup Goose”.
(No, I don’t know either).
“You go and stand right over THERE! I’ll stand here and watch you!”
I have no clue. I just do as I’m told.
“Can I have it? I want it! Let me have it pleeeeeeeeeaaaassssse”
“I neeeeeeed it!”.
See also: Manipulation
To her little brother, loudly within earshot of everyone: “Ah that’s OK buddy, you want to watch My Little Pony?” *pats his arm* “It’s OK I’ll ask Mummy”.
“This food is so horrible and yucky”.
“You can have this because I don’t like it. Can I have some of yours?”
“Buddy, you want to play with this?” *Hands over toy to her brother and immediately swipes whatever he’s playing with to high-pitched screams* “MUMMY, HE’S NOT SHARING!”.