Today was going so well.
As well as a day with a toddler and a baby can go, at any rate.
After two decent nights (and I can barely believe that a 5.30am wake up counts as decent, but it does. Childfree people take note) last night was the kind of night where you think it would probably be easier to give up on sleep and do something else productive, if only you had the mental capacity to do so.
The baby was up every hour, trying to poo but not quite being awake enough to do it. By the time I’d drifted off, he slept for another ten minutes or so and then we’d both be up again.
So yes, admittedly it wasn’t going that well.
But the fact that the toddler had done a big wee on the potty without complaint, I had just about managed to get myself dressed while the kids slept and we were all downstairs having breakfast (or they were, breakfast for parents is a bit of a luxury) seemed like a relatively good start. I’d even made myself a cup of tea.
Breakfast eaten, the baby was securely locked in the cage – I mean playpen – whilst the toddler amused herself with an impossibly hard jigsaw bought by a sadistic relative.
It seemed like the perfect time to attempt to have a bit of me time, which is parent slang for going to the toilet in peace and quiet.
No sooner had I sat down when I heard the living room door close, the baby gates at the bottom and top of the stairs (which I hadn’t locked, I’m clearly too soft) swing open and a repetitive call of “Mummy, whatchooo doing!”
Predictably the bathroom door swings open. “Mummy, whatsiss mummy?” she says pointing to her pyjama trousers.
You probably see where this is going, but I didn’t.
Having a feel of the outside of her trousers and predicting that somehow she had got her breakfast banana down there, I reach my hand up the leg… and retrieve a nice big poo.
Note to self, always remember to put the nappy back on before you leave the room.
Never drank my cup of tea either.
Happy Monday everybody!
Sadistic relative – hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha #chucklemums
Oh god the things we have to deal with as Mummys is just insane! xx #chucklemums
Oh dear Lord; that is horrific! What a cheery little surprise. Totally understand peace and quiet found in toilet time…sometimes. #chucklemums
Wonder if that ever happened to Bob Geldof…. #Chucklemums
Could you call this a left leg log blog?
OH NO! I literally spat my coffee out – no no no no no!!! That's a new marker for parenting right there – hilarious – still shaking me head here!!! #Chucklemums
hahaha! described so well I could visualise it to perfection…sadly…! haha! #chucklemums
There are levels of sadism. See my recent post on crap gifts. I forgot to mention things that break down into 25 parts to be distributed around various rooms of the house. SUCH FUN.
It wasn't the first time, it won't be the last…
Haha to be fair, he has had children. So probably.
I wish I had thought of that first.
Next time, I'm locking the damn door
Such a treat I couldn't possibly just keep it to myself.
Yep. Definitely felt like I'd hit a record low.
Obviously I hadn't. It gets far, far worse…
Oh no – no one likes having to deal with an early morning poo pretending to be a banana lol #chucklemums
Haha hilarious! I genuinely thought it might be banana too – what a shock that would've been ? Happy Monday too!