After my buddy Sam made these awesome alternative milestone cards for babies, we thought we’d try our hand at creating funny milestone cards for new mums!
Based on a post I wrote for another website a long time ago, these cards don’t celebrate the usual milestones for babies, but instead are there to immortalise the little milestones hit by the mothers that carried and gave birth to them. You know, the ones we sometimes forget about but are in fact completely awesome.
Those early days go by in such a whirl (or more accurately a sleep deprived haze); wouldn’t it be great if you could look back on some of your proudest moments – like the first time you managed to put your own shoes on post-partum, or the first time you went out out?
Here are our new mum milestones! You can download the PDF below and print out your own new mum milestone cards for free!
1. Today I survived my first postpartum poo (Scarier than giving birth)
2. Today I slept through the night (I don’t know why this is second on the list as it’s likely to be a long way off…)
3. Today I put on my own shoes (Yay for being able to see your feet again!)
4. Today I looked at my stitches/downstairs area (It takes a brave woman…)
5. Today I fed in public for the first time (Nerve wracking… but you’ve got this)
6. Today I dropped something on the baby (Toast crumbs, an iPhone…)
7. Today I accidentally left the house with wee, poo or sick on me (If you don’t have something crusted on your jeans you’re not doing it right)
8. Today I left the house on time (I’m still waiting for this one, FYI).
9. Today I wore a normal, underwired bra (Albeit in a completely different size to what you wore pre-pregnancy)
10. Today I went out out (You might need this guide, you ridiculous lightweight).