It’s all a bit baby-crazy this way at the moment; friends seem to be popping out tiny bundles of joy all over the place and we’re on what seems like day 100 of niece-or-nephew watch. What will come first? My new kitchen or my new family member? It’s all to play for at the moment.
I never expected it to happen, but I’ve found babies do funny things to me recently.
I know as soon as that baby is born that I will hold its little squishy sleepy body, and smell its little head and my ovaries will ping and my heart will flutter. Part of me will forget how bloody relentless small babies can be and I’ll be ever-so-slightly tempted to have another; at least until my rational side kicks in, or my husband reminds me that I told him never ever ever again.
Maybe it’s because it’s so far away now, so much of a distant memory.
Now, there are no babies nor toddlers in this house.
They are both children, and self sufficient in many ways. My oldest gets herself dressed and ready every day without any help at all, the youngest will once you nag him although he’s adamant he can’t put his socks on even though he can. They even made themselves lunch today (supervised naturally. And it was a sandwich, they weren’t slicing carrots or anything). Definitely not babies by any stretch of the imagination.
Sometimes holding a new little baby… it does leave me daydreaming.
What would another baby look like?
Would it be a boy or a girl?
Would I finally get an ‘easy baby’? One of those ones who basically just sleeps while you push your designer pram around Bluewater and sit in coffee shops drinking skinny lattes and bonding with other new parents?
Would I finally understand why people like babies so much, even though really they’re quite dull, if cute?
It’s just a risk I don’t want to take.
Being pregnant sucks. I have fond memories of my bumps, but I also remember the constant feeling of nausea and heartburn, and never being able to sleep.
And god, sleep.
I’ve crested the hill of sleep deprivation, I really don’t want to have to climb anymore. I couldn’t go through the colic and the reflux again, and we’re two for two so far so the odds would not be stacked in my favour. People that have never had a baby that never, ever sleeps and screams all day don’t understand how torturous it is. You have to be a brave soul indeed to plough on regardless after that experience.
Then there’s the practical stuff… We only have a three bedroom house and I really don’t want to have to buy a new car; car shopping is so boring. I’ve got rid of all my baby shit now, the house is a baby-free zone.
And I’m very happy with my two. They’re (mostly) a happy little team.
We are ready for the next stage in the parenting adventure.
Where you don’t have to take nappies with you or worry about who’s nap is due or whether you’ve remembered milk or puree. Where they can appreciate a day out and enjoy new experiences, go out for meals and watch films snuggled up on the sofa. The stage where I get time back to be me, and do exciting things like drink tea and go to the shops on my own.
But I do want baby snuggles, so if you could kindly get a move on little niece-or-nephew baby, that would be grand.
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