Last year saw the hairy chest swimsuit and fish flops taking over the internet (and, more importantly, our Facebook group Dafuq Is Dis) but so far this year – some might say, disappointingly – there hasn’t been that one weird summer item that’s somehow sits perfectly between ‘I need this’ and ‘WTF is that thing?’.
I decided to make it my job to try and find the weird swimsuit trends for this year, and I present the contenders below.
Let’s start off with this combination of an odd noughties denim effect fabric, metal O-rings (don’t sit in the sun too long) and dodgy tan line possibilities.
It’s a bargain at £135 and will DEFINITELY not slip down or fall off the first time you climb in the pool, definitely. Snap it up from Asos and don’t worry, if denim blue isn’t your thing there’s a rather fetching cream number too.
There are really no words for this Steve Bucemi swimsuit from Beloved.
Of course one of the major concerns when swimming is that your hair might get a bit wet.
Have no fear, hooded swimsuits are apparently a thing this year, my favourite being this hooded swimsuit from Tommy Hilfiger. Keep your hair dry (maybe? I don’t know, why else would there be a hood?) and maybe pull the cords really tight so nobody can recognise wearing that thing while you’re at it.
Random fabric additions
Maybe you’d prefer to go for something a little more, dressy?
Monif C have the answer with this stylish, yet totally-not-impractical-I-promise chic halter neck swimsuit. Be quick though, only three sizes remaining over on Asos!
Barely there swimsuits
This swimsuit is available in a variety of interesting designs and none of them will hide your c-section scar or anything else for that matter… From Amazon here.
Bridal swimsuits! Who knew they were a thing? I admit that I did not, but I did have my honeymoon at Marwell Zoo so…
This has to be my favourite one though, nothing quite says ‘just married’ like a giant ass bow on your swimming costume! Plus, if you have a destination wedding you don’t even need a big heavy wedding dress anymore, genius.
A bargain at just £25 over on Pretty Little Thing and you just *know* it’s going to be the best money spent on your wedding, ever.
The first thing I have to say about this that its product name forgets to mention the MASSIVE tassels down the arms and focuses more on the fetching snake print. Slight oversight.
The next thing is that apparently it’s a festival swimsuit, which implies you might actually wear one to a festival, although I’ve never been to a festival with a swimming pool and to be honest I probably wouldn’t want to get in that pool given no one washes at festivals.
Anyway, yes, festival swimsuits exist and they’re all hugely OTT and you probably don’t want to try and actually swim with those tassels attached to your arms.
Because even superheroes need holidays!
I know, I don’t get it either. Luckily Pretty Little Thing kindly specified this was for the poolside which is good if you’re a complete moron.
Definitely in the running for most useless thing ever made, it’s a cover up that doesn’t actually seem to cover anything up, maybe don’t stand too close to the BBQ while you wear it though.
Tassels on everything
Or ‘fringes’ as the fashion world seems to like to call them.
Just one question; why does a swimsuit need them? Do they not just stick together when wet? I imagine this Bright Pop swimsuit ends up looking like an old soggy mop once those things get all wet and tangled up, not a good look if you ask me.
I say ‘cover ups’ because, while I do quite like the idea of having a little something to keep me covered when sunning it up on my imaginary holiday, the things I’m seeing this year don’t really seem to fit the description.
Take this Crop Cover up, it combines my least favourite trend of 2018 (tassels) and a ridiculously small crop top with the supposed aim of being used a beach cover up. Right you are then.
HIGH high leg swimsuits
I’m not talking ‘Baywatch’ high leg, I’m talking ‘don’t lift your hands above your head’ high.
Maybe it’s because I’d be banned from ever visiting the pool again if I wore one or maybe it’s because HOW can that be comfortable?
My ‘favourite’ has to be this tie dye lace up number because, well, look at it. So much going on for a swimsuit with so little fabric.
And finally, I leave you with this last trend. Beach Trousers.
Because getting changed into your swimsuit isn’t enough of a hassle now you can get changed, pop your beach trousers on, take them off when you fancy a swim, pop them back on again and repeat.
On the up-side, they definitely don’t look like pyjama bottoms at all, nope, not even a little bit*
*They totally do.
So there you have it, these are the swimsuit trends of 2018 that you might as well get on board with now.
Have you seen any I could be missing? Pop over to Dafuq Is Dis to share your swimsuit trends with us!