My New Year’s resolutions (by my children)

Parenting and life

As 2017 rattles to an end, it’s a time for reflection.

My reflections are that the year in general was OK; it had its ups and downs but there were no major traumas.

We could all probably do with more sleep.

It’s also a time to look forward to the coming year (that would be 2018) and make New Year’s resolutions.

Here are the resolutions that I made last year; obviously I failed to keep to any of these.

This year I have one; to sleep more. (And maybe get better at reflecting. And counting).

The former is, of course, largely dependent on my darling children and their sleeping habits so I thought I would set some resolutions on their behalf.

We shook hands on it and everything so it’s 100% going to happen.

The small one’s resolutions:

Happy New Year - resolutions for the new year 2018

1) I will sleep past 6am.

Maybe even half past! Probably not though. Things to do see, up and at ’em.

2) I will go to bed without complaint.

Or at least minimise it to half an hour so that my mummy and daddy can have their dinner before 9pm.

3) I will eat food which my mum has lovingly cooked.

Without screaming, ketchup and bribery.

4) I will learn to pee on the potty or toilet.

And not right blinking next to it.

5) I will not shout at my mummy.

Just because she is not daddy.

6) I will treat my toys with respect.

I will not throw things at the wall, stamp on things or leave them in the park.

7) I will not whine.

But instead learn to communicate what I want in a calm, rational manner.

The big one’s resolutions

Happy New Year - resolutions for the new year 2018

1) I will share my toys with my brother.

And/or I won’t steal his toys. One or the other is fine.

2) I will use a fork and not my hands.

And might even consider using a knife. Might.

3) I will not use my brother as a scapegoat.

Especially when he’s not even in the room.

4) I will always give good warning before requiring a toilet stop.

Because screaming ‘I need a wee!’ in the middle of Peacock’s changing rooms is awkward for everyone.

5) I will let my mum wash and brush my hair.

Without screaming so much the neighbours call the police.

6) I will tidy up after myself.

Or learn not to get every single toy I own out and strewn across the floor in the time it takes my mum to answer the door to the Amazon delivery guy.

7) I will not flash my bottom.

Four year olds, man. No decorum.

What do you think our chances of success are?

Agree? Disagree? Never felt so much unbridled rage? Leave a comment!

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