The top ten children’s TV presenters as voted by unstable mothers

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In case you missed it, the biggest vote of the year has taken place (ahem) with shocking results.

According to Families UK, the children’s TV presenters which mums are most likely to have a crush on, as voted for by apparently sex-starved, desperate mothers across the UK were these:

1) Dr Ranj Singh
2) Ben Faulks (Mr Bloom)
3) Andy Day
4) Justin Fletcher (Mr Tumble)
5) Curtis Angus (Milkshake presenter)
6) Derek Moran (Milkshake presenter)
7) Ben Cajee (CBeebies presenter)
8) Karim Zeroual (CBBC presenter)
9) Alex Winters (CBeebies presenter)
10) Phil Gallagher (Mister Maker)

I shared this on Facebook, but I didn’t want it to disappear into the internet ether, so I thought I would immortalise some of the discussion right here so that I can always reflect back on this important piece of scientific research.

I don’t have Milkshake, so I can’t pass comment on those people (although I am reliably informed that nope) but here are my thoughts on the rest of the list.
(Feel free to agree or disagree in the comments, that’s what they’re for…)

WHAT THE HELL?

How is Mr Tumble number FOUR?

WHO are the people that voted for him? I’m starting to think that perhaps this wasn’t a statistically significant sample size… What kind of strange desperation are they feeling? Is isyMr Tumble they love (very, very wrong), or Justin (still quite wrong)? I want to reach out to these people and tell them it’s OK to change the channel.
We do like Mr Tumble in this house. Well, the kids do. I admit, he does look as if he is very good with the children – in only the way someone who really, really despises kids off-air can.

How does Mr Maker even make the list?

He has enormously stupid hair and is probably in my top ten list of people that annoy me, perhaps irrationally, but I won’t have him on my telly box. I’d actually prefer Peppa and by god, I hate her. Also, did anyone else apart from me not even consider that he might have another name?

I’m really not sure how I feel about Andy Day…

He does have hair more ridiculous than my toddler just before he gets a hair cut. I do admire his enthusiasm though, and he has the height, but having had it pointed out to me that he looks uncannily like Fatima Whitbread I’m not sure I can ever watch Andy’s Dinosaur Adventures in quite the same way.

Dr Ranj apparently trounced it, taking one third of the vote.

I can imagine that to many mums, having a medic on hand would be quite handy at times but I’m not convinced that many people vote for their crushes on practical grounds. On the plus side, he has some great songs. On the downside, a lot of them are about poo. Plus, well, I don’t think his heart would really be into it, mums. I hate to be the one to break it to you.

And then there are the ones that didn’t even feature…

Why has Sid from Let’s Play been so cruelly overlooked? Is it his age? He’s 50 you know. FIFTY. I want whatever he’s taking. And Chris Jarvis, although clearly off his rocker, has to beat Mr Tumble, right? Even that ginger fellow from My Pet and Me would beat him, surely. I’d take that as a slap to the face, I really would

Above all else, why is Mr Bloom not number one?

As Suzanne from And another ten things so eloquently put it, with Mr Bloom why would you need another nine?

You can see what the good people of Facebook thought here.

For a corking guest blog on Toddler TV, go here

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