The NCT sale: Ditching the baby sh!t

Latest posts

As you know, we have an extension looming, requiring the imminent demolition of all our storage space.

We also have a house full to bursting with baby stuff, and no babies.

It’s time to de-baby the house.

Once you have reached a certain age, most of your friends are on to their second children and have wised up to the practise of dumping bin bags full of unsorted baby clothes upon unsuspecting first time parents, knowing that they’ll probably use them and return them to you clean and sorted, so that you can dump them on another lucky parent-to-be until you decide whether or not to have another child.

‘Sell via Facebook!’ I hear you cry, ‘You’re a chuffing expert after all!‘. Well, no. Even if people want to buy what you are selling, having a succession of strangers rocking up to your door is a bit unsettling, and I sure as shit don’t want to drive four miles at 9pm to drop off a bottle warmer at someone’s house for a fiver.

Giving it away for free isn’t easy either.

Sadly, my experience goes that if you freecycle or suchlike, people are (often) just irritatingly ungrateful. Etiquette dictates you have to give it to the first person who says (and I quote) ‘ill take dis’ but sod’s law says it’ll take them a week to remember to pick it up – the worst offenders don’t even let you know until they’re already meant to have collected it and have’t bloody turned up – and once the deed is done, you’ll never hear so much as a ‘got it, thanks’ from them.

And so, when we found out that there was a local NCT Nearly-New Sale on the distant horizon, we thought ‘We’ll sign up to that, get rid of a few bits! It’ll give us the impetus we need to sort out the kid’s toys and clothes. We can pick out the bits to sell, bin some of it and donate the rest to worthy causes, and maybe we’ll have space to move again. And it’s months away, so that’s fine!

So thanks for that, jerks.

These are the things that I’ve learned about sorting out baby crap stuff:

Many people claim looking through their children’s old babygros makes them broody. 

Not so. To be fair to them though, I actually consider that just having another baby to use all this stuff might actually be easier than sorting through a thousand vests in varying sizes. And cheaper – economies of scale and all that.

I am kind of angry towards me of the past.

She didn’t do a very thorough job of sorting before putting these items into storage; although I know that poor cow was tired as hell, so am I. So am I. I’m not sure there is much of a market for puzzles without the pieces, shape sorters without the shapes and a lot of babygros with mysterious orange stains on them.

Everything has to be done under the cover of darkness.

If you threaten to remove so much as one grotty Lamaze toy, the Whingelets will suddenly declare that is their ‘most favouritest toy EVER’ and wail and cry about the inhumanity until you allow them to take it upstairs and forget about it there. So it must be done once they go to bed…

…Except doing anything of an evening, when the kids are in bed, seems like a massive bloody chore. 

Compared to sitting and watching TV which is what you really should be doing…So you leave it until the last minute, naively thinking ‘how long can it take to sort out 6 bin bags of stuff?’ and then have no choice but to stay up til 2am trying to find the bastard labels in babygros that are hidden somewhere in the thigh area or completely cut out, or even worse, in European sizing and therefore basically meaningless.

Fucksake

It will not be worth your time.

Even if you sell half of your stuff (and that’s optimistic), you’ll still have a shitload returned, which is massively depressing, and if you’re unlucky then something expensive will have gone wandering because some people are just arseholes.  It will sit in your living room for weeks before you drive it all to the only charity shop with parking nearby, and wonder why you didn’t just do that in the first place rather than putting yourself through the whole ordeal.

In conclusion:

Take it to the charity shop. Just do it. Don’t even look in the bags. You’re welcome.

** Keep doing it though, even if it doesn’t seem worth it. First time parents in particular love an NCT sale bargain. Maternity leave is expensive, and not everyone wants to or can buy new, or is in a lucky position to be gifted handmedowns. I loved them, still would if I had any bastard space for stuff.

NCT sales are great, as long as you are a buyer. But to be a buyer, there must be sellers. 

I’m so massively conflicted, I need to go have a lie down.

6 Comments

  1. K La Roche May 12, 2017
  2. Alina May 13, 2017
  3. Kathryn Dooney May 16, 2017
  4. Anonymous May 16, 2017
  5. john adams May 20, 2017
  6. Vicky October 30, 2017

Leave a Reply

Instagram

%d bloggers like this: