I live in a cursed house.
I swear that half of my blog posts are moaning about illness in some capacity but that's because a) we are always sick these days, or that's how it feels and b) being ill really sucks.
I make a crappy sick person; even my kids seem to take being poorly in their stride, or at least the big one does - she is more a veg on the sofa than complain about it girl - but then I suppose they don't have to do anything. They don't have to adult. They don't have to put a brave face on it, and change shitty nappies when they're feeling like their brain has been minced.
Anyway, I've been trying to look on the bright side of being cooped up for the best part of a week, and having already blogged about the universal truths of having a household sickness, I thought I would therefore change tact, and this time share some words of wisdom to help you survive should you be subject to similar unfortunate circumstances.
1) Play a daily game of 'how many times can I ask my toddler to put her knickers on?'
2) Relax your aching muscles in a lukewarm shared bath which is 40% plastic toys and 60% toddler urine. Maybe go nuts and have some Matey in there.
3) See how many days in a row you can put a load of washing on and forget about it so you have to redo it the next day.
4) Watch Show Me, Show Me until your eyes and ears bleed. Seriously, those people are unhinged.
5) Lie on the floor and just let the kids climb on you as you sob into the carpet. Word to the wise though... If you're letting a small toddler climb on your back after a bath, put the nappy on beforehand. Yes. That happened.
Need more tips? I have eight ways to deal with kids on a hangover than might help.