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Thursday, 12 January 2017

Jobs for the mums: Picking my new career

Jobs for the mums: Picking my new career

When I left the workplace to become a stay-at-home mum, one of my biggest considerations - bigger, even, than the no money I would actually bring home after spunking it all on childcare - was the large gap it would leave on my CV. 

It might be the 21st century, but apparently it is still not the done thing to take a few years out to raise small children (the future generations, I say with a dramatic eyebrow raise) with the intention of going back and continuing your career afterwards. Jobs, alas, don't wait.

To my mind, this discrimination against mothers wanting to return to the workplace is crazy; surely no one works harder than someone who is used to slogging away 24 hours a day, taking zero personal time and as few loo and snack breaks as possible. Job too icky for the general public? Involve puke, pee or poo? Call a mum; it's nothing she hasn't seen before.

Now I'm out of it I don't see that I'll ever go back to working in an office and doing the soul destroying commute in every day. 

Work-wise it was alright, but it didn't inspire me, it didn't stir my passion, it didn't make me leap out of bed every morning with excitement although I can't imagine anything would these days. I love my bed.

But, as it turns out, mothering comes with a plethora of transferable skills (and not all poo related) which might just lead me up a different path. If my freelance writing dries up or I need to make a more steady income, I think I know where I'm headed:
My vast experience of getting my wilful toddler to put her shoes and socks on means I am probably well suited to a career in hostage negotiation.

Some blogging buddies and I had a bit of fun look at the skills we'd gained since having kids, and imagining our next career moves:

Global IT manager - getting every person in your household rigged up with, and engrossed in, an electronic device for at least half an hour so you can have a peaceful cup of coffee before the server room combusts under the demand for Paw Patrol.
(Sam, Mouse Moo and Me Too)
I reckon I could broker a better Brexit deal than the Government - I convinced the Child to eat fish by calling it chicken. 'Oh no that's not the single market, that's chicken'.
(Suzanne, and another ten things)
 Psychologist: Dealing with my toddler's perpetual melt downs, because they're tired, need a wee wee or I had the absolute audacity to give them hot chocolate when she wanted juice and talking her through her turbulent ordeal.
(Donna, The Sleep Thief's Mummy)
 Putting a baby down asleep and leaving the room sets you up nicely for a mission with MI6
(Faith, Raising Moonbows)

 I've definitely gained project management skills from attempting to collect children from school, wait in for Jude's bus and then get first child to gymnastics all at the same time.
(Alice, Living with a Jude)
Getting eye drops in Erin's eyes has definitely ensured that if I ever wanted a career as a police officer or bouncer who needed to hold down criminals with my body weight whilst arresting them, I'm there!
(Faye, Glossy Tots)
 Implanting Christmas wishes in your child's head that just *happen* to be exactly what they're definitely getting prepares you for a strong career in manipulation. Possibly politics.
(Jenny, Accidental Hipster Mum)
 I'm definitely skilled in multitasking; nothing says 'mum' like having a wee, while trying to stop the kids from sitting on each other; so maybe juggler or personal assistan
(Laura, Savings 4 Savvy Mums) 
So there you have it.

What is your next career move?

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  1. haha this is brilliant - the things that we learn as parents!

  2. Love your writing always makes me laugh

  3. This is brilliant Fran! Just remember we are all superstars x

  4. Fab, love this one! I reckon I could be one of those Police Officers they call to talk someone down from a ledge or a roof, surely the amount of times I've had to talk Harrison down from the edge of an epic meltdown would stand me in good stead? Or perhaps a bomb diffuser, I think that might actually be easier than defusing a toddler!

    1. Yep negotiating with a child has to be harder than an adult. Even a mad one.

  5. Love this - I could never go back to working for someone else - I'm sure I would be sacked within a day for tantruming when I couldn't watch a TV in the day

    1. Haha not a fan of daytime TV here but I do like being able to do what I want with my day and not have to be polite to idiots on the phone!


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