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Tuesday, 18 October 2016

Ten top tips for selling stuff online

Ten top tips for selling stuff and making money online

Being a parent is an expensive business, particularly if one of you has to give up working to stay at home and look after the kids.


Raising a little bit of extra cash is therefore a very appealing prospect. It is no wonder that lots of people turn to eBay, Gumtree and Facebook selling groups to raise some pocket money from unwanted items; baby clothes that the kids have grown out of, toys they probably never even used, general baby related paraphernalia, dresses you will never fit into again and furniture that is now deemed too dangerous to have inside the house.

I recently sold some baby toys via a local Facebook group. The woman who bought them was on time and it was the first time I'd seen a new fiver so I got pretty excited.

I must admit though, selling groups can become a little addictive, but probably not for the reasons you think. No, I am not spending the housekeeping on buying second hand tat, but I am obsessed with seeing the treasures that people are trying to offload; in among the veiled attempts to lure people into the clutches of the latest MLM or hawking shit scrabble tile pictures, there are some real gems out there and fortunately I have a group of friends who seem to share my sad little fixation.

I feel I'm now an expert in how you should approach online selling in Facebook groups, and I offer my top tips to you here, together with some of our best finds. You're most welcome.

1) Make sure the item is in saleable condition. 

Just slight discolouration. You know there's a body in there.

2) Make sure it's something that someone would actually want to buy.

For the saddest playground in the world
So many jokes. Will not make them.

3) Make sure it's not unsafe and/or entirely illegal.

Umm... I think I'll just strap them to the roof.

4) Make sure it's not CREEPY AS HELL or liable to give people nightmares.

I guess it's a case of taste but GET IT AWAY FROM ME.
So cute! And a bargain too.
I'll take five.

5) Make sure you set a fair price.

Oooh you can save 50p by buying a potty someone else's kid has 'hardly' pissed or shat in. Fab.
You're. Sorry, had to. Only Kanye could take some fugly shoes that look like your dear old nan knitted them with her eyes closed and charge £150, and only a Kanye fan could try and charge 3 times over the RRP...
At 30 years old I'm not sure high chairs hold nostalgia value, do they? Especially if they're falling apart and a possible death trap. Head to Ikea instead. 

6) Make sure to use your words, so people can understand what the hell you're on about. 

Even autocorrect didn't have a clue.
The classic.

7) Make sure your pictures show the item in its best light.

Because it's so hard to retake a photo these days.
Taken during an earthquake.

8) In fact, you might want to go the extra mile to set up a professional looking backdrop to your photo.

Hygienic. Wait, do you smell burning?

9) Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, make sure you give it a thorough clean first.

JUST MOVE IT THEN. And ps nice touch with the duct tape.

10) If you have nothing to sell, you can always take to crafting.

Would make a nice faecal point in any room.
I'll be honest I have zero idea what this is supposed to be or why I would pay £14 for one
A Tree Knows Many Stories and all of them are rubbish.
These two will have stunning children.
If in doubt, glue shit to something then Plasticote it and hope it doesn't melt and set fire to everything and kill you.

I hope, with these tips, you're now ready to start making your fortune.


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19 comments:

  1. Haha I love this. Mr Jones often browses Gumtree out of boredom and we laugh at the shit for sale on there and the really atrocious spelling and grammar! I've tried selling a few bits recently on eBay and Gumtree and sometimes I'd rather bin it for the hassle! #chucklemums

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  2. Haha I love this. Mr Jones often browses Gumtree out of boredom and we laugh at the shit for sale on there and the really atrocious spelling and grammar! I've tried selling a few bits recently on eBay and Gumtree and sometimes I'd rather bin it for the hassle! #chucklemums

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  3. Highlight is of course the amazing faecal/focal point pun. Not bad at all for you. Genuinely helpful article. I'm off now to sell the remains of Joshua's Weetabix on eBay. #chucklemums

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  4. I love the ads on second hand selling sites for an old, really faded pair of baby tights. For you, £4 please. Haha always makes me laugh!

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  5. Hahahahaa the Crocs on the cooker! The terrifying fake babies! The handmade treasures (although I'm worried that this is what people see when I try and haw my handmade wares)!

    Your selling group seems a bit classier than my local ones, mine doubles up as a 'name and shame' site for some Jeremy Kyle style cheats and revelations.

    #chucklemums

    http://accidentalhipstermum.com

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  6. You got to wonder what the heck people are thinking when they post such crap. I too like to have a nosy at the tat on local ads pages.

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  7. I didn't want this to end! Please make this a series. Do people really try and sell this sh*t? You have to wonder what "croc" owner's house must be like if the only clear place on which you can take a photo of some shoes is the hob? Brilliant! #chucklemums x

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  8. Wetting myself here at the disgracefully overpriced potty and the hob Crocs! My personal fave, and a sure fire seller, is when the merchant will have 5 photos with the listing. But it's literally the same photo. How hard is it? Thanks for linking up to #Chucklemums, now stop messing about and get back on board next week.

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  9. Oh god I remember lots of these, still really make me laugh now! Brilliant article. I could really do with a faecal point for my living room, any tips?!

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  10. Bahahaha, I bet you laughed the most at the poo painting. I KNOW YOU DID. #chucklemums

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  11. Great post. Funny and insightful. Some people are clearly off their rocker. #chucklemums

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  12. Okay I really hope I meet the person who wants a werewolf baby - bloody creepy! Actually laughed at the 'taken during an earthquake' picture. Honestly people!! X

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  13. Hahahaha! This is amazing. I love that the snowman is a "unique design". Clearly they have no clue what it is either! How on earth did you find these gems???

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  14. Oh my gosh this had me giggling. Some people maze me with the tat they try and flog xx

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  15. Ha ha. You do wonder what goes through people's heads sometimes. Great post.

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  16. Ha ha. You do wonder what goes through people's heads sometimes. Great post.

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  17. Fran this is brilliant. I actually clicked on here as I feel endlessly guilty about giving old stuff to the charity shop and feel like maybe I should be selling it online, even though charity shop is easier, good as for charity and also a great place to buy stuff, and then I read this and it made me remember why I don't go on EBay. Made me laugh so much on the way home from work I very nearly forgot to get off the train! #chucklemums

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  18. Thank you so much for this post!

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