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Thursday, 27 October 2016

My birthday sleepover and a visit to Peppa Pig World

My birthday sleepover and a visit to Peppa Pig World

Last week it was my birthday.


I got two pairs of slippers; I think I have officially reached old age. I'm OK with that. They are nice slippers.

It also happened to be half term for my sister, who is a teacher in a school with enviably long half term holidays, and presumably for lack of better things to do she suggested that we do something with the kids.

As Daddy (who happens to have the same birthday as me - more on this at a later date) was working, I thought it sounded like a nice idea. Pre-children, we used to take the day or even the week off for our shared birthday and do something 'fun' but obviously this doesn't happen anymore, because once you have kids your own birthdays lose their significance somewhat and your concept of fun changes. One day there will be lie-ins and breakfast in bed on our birthday; it is not this year. Compared with the possibility of spending my birthday at a sad soft play drinking crap tea and worrying about rogue poos, a family day out appealed.

My other birthday present, drawn by the big one. Flowers, obviously.
Somehow it was decided that we would take the kids down to my parents' in Sussex, stay the night there and then spend my birthday making our second trip to Peppa Pig World. With the children, obviously.

We left home later than we should have, which was entirely my own fault. 


The kids therefore ate late and predictably, the small one, having blinked for three seconds in the car at ten to three didn't want to go to sleep. After forty minutes of sitting in the dark, gently humming whilst waiting for him to drop off and deeply regretting not charging my phone in the car, I gave up and brought him back downstairs where I handed him to my mum so I could get on with complaining about him on the internet. No matter, he can stay up with us and come to bed with me, thought I. We had a curry delivered, and he was happy enough as long as he was being cuddled and fed poppadoms, whilst he giggled the insane laugh of the crazily tired child.
Poppadom thief
(if you didn't sing that to the tune of Papa Don't Preach I don't know what's wrong with you)
Meanwhile, the big one, good girl that she is, went to sleep easily with no complaints.

It was only upon going to bed that a quick check on her and a cursory sniff revealed bad news. 


Yep, residing in the potty in her bedroom was a poo the size of a shoe which she had obviously done before taking herself back to bed without disturbing us. This meant one thing; I had to wake her up to clean her bottom (her arms are too short to do an effective job, no matter how hard she tries bless her), and in doing so I unleashed the beast. Man, she was not happy about the situation. She was even less happy about the prospect of sharing a room with her auntie and therefore she came in with me too.

Now, a double bed might be big enough for two adults, and a one- and an almost-three-year-old might not be as big as a grown adult, but they can sure take up some space.

Add into the equation the pillow fortress you have to build to ensure that no one falls to their doom when writhing in their sleep and you are left with very little room indeed.

There were three in the bed and the little one said Ma Ma MaMa Ma Ma, and the big one sobbed and hit the small one in the face, and they all rolled on top of mum and mum said screw this and tried to sleep on the floor.


We had about two hours of blissful shut-eye before the small one woke up crying; the sad, pathetic sob of an ill child. Medicated, he went back to sleep but I, starting to feel rather unwell myself, couldn't and instead stayed awake long into the night, primarily wondering how the hell I was going to function the next day, thinking about how I was going to ruin the day (because you know, my mum and dad were surely so looking forward to meeting Peppa again) and how I wouldn't be able to see my husband on our shared birthday because I would be too tired to drive home.

Upon eventually falling asleep around 6am, my irrational thoughts manifested itself in my dreams during which my parents and my sister were all really mean to me for not wanting to do pig world on no sleep. Harsh.

It was about an hour later when my kids gave me a cheery hello by way of smashing me in the face; I'm not entirely sure which one it was but they were swiftly deposited on Nanny and Grandad and I grabbed another hour or so in bed, at which point a loud child woke me up and even with my head banging, my nose blocked and my voice sounding decidedly mannish from what I was sure was about to evolve into laryngitis, I thought I CAN DO THIS.

And so we did, and I spent my birthday at Peppa Pig World, where toddlers all over the country wish that they could spend their birthdays. I then drove us back to Kent, where I wished Daddy a snotty happy birthday before drinking no wine, drugging myself up on Night Nurse and going to bed.
This kid is having the time of his life
Still, it was definitely better than the year I had swine flu, or the one where we were all ill and stayed sick until March. I'm definitely hoping for better than that.

Next time someone suggests a big family day out, I'll sleep on it.

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19 comments:

  1. The poo bit made me chuckle, bless her for not disurbing you, bet she was well chuffed when you cleaned her bum :)

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    1. Hahaha you'd think, but no... Bless her, her arms are just too damn short

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  2. Oh wow! Toilet training is a whole new world that I am not interested in learning about!! The bed situation made me laugh so much since our double bed is resided in purely by myself and J. My poor husband has spent a grand total of 5 nights in the bed since we bought it!I still sleep on the edge since the pillow fortress and a side lying toddler (with feet digging into my ribs ) take up the rest of the bed!

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  3. Sounds like an amazing birthday. Peppa Pig world on your own birthday and a poo fiasco! Thank God for night nurse!! Thanks for hosting #chucklemums

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  4. Sounds like an amazing birthday. Peppa Pig world on your own birthday and a poo fiasco! Thank God for night nurse!! Thanks for hosting #chucklemums

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  5. Ugh, this sounds like our christmases, illness, discomfort and misguided family sleepovers. Ah the pillow fortress, so familiar. Ive heard some say night nurse is almost as good as wine for the passing out ability so silver lining perhaps?
    Thanks for hosting #chucklemums

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  6. Oh maaaaan :( Being ill on your birthday sucks. Being ill at Peppa Pig World sucks. Being at Peppa Pig World on your birthday sucks. All three? UGH. And although I've never shared a bed with two little ones, given the experiences of sharing it with just my ONE I never ever EVER want to do it with two. Fingers crossed you get a nice relaxing day in lieu of birthday at some point... #chucklemums

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  7. Ha ha ha this was hilarious. I especially liked the morning waking with a smash in the face - mine punches her dad in the arm and laughs til he wakes when I bring her through in the morning. Sorry to hear you were ill on your birthday - hope you make up for it #chucklemums

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  8. Enjoy those slippers mama!

    LOL

    #chucklmums

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  9. I too have a mini me that takes up an illogical amount of space in my bed. I don't know how he does it! Great that your birthdays are the same day though, at least you'll never forget to get each other presents! #chucklemums

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  10. I spend so much time sleeping on the floor. I've given up and keep a sleeping bag there! Urg!

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  11. Your diagram is brill! Why oh why can we not have own bed space...just when you need it most. You never appreciate these things pre-motherhood. Damn it! #chucklemums

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  12. Is it wrong to admit I probably would have left her with a slightly shitty bum? What's that? Mum of the Year you say? #chucklemums

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  13. Sleepovers always seem like a good idea until you realise that an average crappy night will be a whole lot worse elsewhere! Peppa Pig World and with illness on your birthday, that's heroic parenting :) #chucklemums

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  14. I think this is what's known as taking one for the team... #chucklemums

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  15. Peppa Pig World sounds awesome! What a great place to spend a birthday ���� #chucklemums

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  16. Swine flu? Oh my word, I am really undecided as to what's worse #chucklemums

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  17. What is it with children and the wiping of their own bums? (Or apparently lack of?) Mine can reach, but insists on only wiping the cheeks which doesn't really achieve much in the grand scheme of things. The joys of parenthood eh? Still - you got to go on Grandpa's Little Train right? ;) #chucklemums x

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  18. I bet she was really proud of that poo. I have been trying to no avail to get Piglet to poo in a potty, but to be honest hearing stories like this I wonder whether it wouldn't be a better idea just to keep him nappied up in perpetuity. #chucklemums

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