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Monday, 10 October 2016

Whine my dear? Investigating the abject misery of the second-born child

Whine my dear? Investigating the abject misery of the second-born child

Today has been extremely trying.

The small one has a cold, and therefore has been stuck on turbo-whinge mode. You'll know by now that my son is fond of several things; among them, putting himself in mortal danger and getting stuck in things, but above all else whinging constantly, as previously noted, like a wasp stuck in a jar. I could provide more video evidence but I'm sure you all have your own annoying children to listen to.

He's always been the same and I have pretty much given up hope of him waking up one day and thinking you know what, it's a beautiful day! I have literally not a care in the world! Maybe I'll be jovial instead.

I didn't come up with the name of this blog by accident, you know.
He's also fairly 'clingy', for want of a better word. He loves his mum (that's me, in case you weren't following that closely) and making up the list of things he does not like are; not being with me, not being able to touch me, waiting patiently in a separate room without potential burning hazards whilst I attempt to provide nourishment, and of course, letting me pee on my own. Soon, I will update you all on how he is getting on at the childminder's (spoiler alert: not very well, so far).

Some days, I genuinely wear ear plugs around the house, just to take the edge off.

I do wonder though - am I in part to blame for his general whingebagginess? After all, I was probably a much better parent when I only had the one child, and she is pretty much whinge-less in comparison. Apart from towards end of my second pregnancy, when I was a grumpy, tired, fat, very pregnant mum, I was far more well rested and, ergo, more patient the first time around.

Second children (and subsequent ones, I imagine - totally not going down that road) do get a bit of a raw deal. Mine, along with many the world over I imagine, was definitely on the receiving end of some less-than-stellar parenting.

Here are some other things that baby number two missed out on, which - you never know - may have contributed to his less obliging personality.

Swimming lessons
At something gut-wrenching like £15 a lesson (I know!) it's definitely one of those businesses that sees new parents coming. The small one has never had a lesson in his life.
Conclusion: On the odd occasion that both me and Daddy have been on hand to take the Whingelets swimming, he has shown he can 'splash splash splash' with the best of them. It's probably not related.

Aged about three months. No reason really.
Baby sensory
For obvious reasons, he didn't get to go to any baby groups at all unless they were the kind where you could drag along a loud clumsy toddler too. At about £8 for 45 minutes it's not something that a stay at home mum can really afford, either.
Conclusion: Baby sensory goes a bit like this: "Oooh look at these pretty lights! Oh that's right, you can't, you're asleep." It's probably not related.

Babies don't need toys. You learn this pretty quickly, once you already have all the toys and they are sucking on the remote control. Toddler toys are already taking over the housebuying more is an insane idea.
Conclusion: He can chew on plenty of toys we already own. It's probably not related.

No, we didn't dress my son entirely in pink dresses but by the time we were on number two we knew a lot of people with kids, and there were a lot of hand-me-downs doing the rounds. Boy's clothes are too boring to spend actual cash money on with the exception of these smashing dino PJs which I have to share with the world.
The eyes of a madwoman at 9.07pm on a Friday
Conclusion: He doesn't seem to care. It's probably not related.

2014: Steamed organic vegetables, mushed with expressed breast milk and served with love and patience (maybe I might be over romanticising it slightly). No sugar, processed food, salt, and definitely no fast food!
2015: Ready Brek, table scraps and whatever he can forage, usually whatever beige food the big one has dropped.
Conclusion: Despite best efforts, the big only really eats beige food now anyway. It's probably not related.
Tackling the main food groups of rice cakes and crisps.
The big one got to dictate her own routine, and then that of her younger brother. Sadly, she could not dictate when he decided (and still decides) to wake up for the day so whilst she will put in a consistent seven til seven, he is more of a 'go to bed at 7, scream til 8 and sleep til maybe 5am' type. His naps are atrocious, and he often gets woken up to go pick his big sis up.
Conclusion: Gina Ford may disagree, but it's probably not related.

Pushing for those milestones
First: Come here! Go on, you can do it, just put one hand in front of the other! YAY! She's crawling, quick! Put it on Facebook and phone Grandma.
Second: Oh will you just bloody well STAY WHERE I PUT YOU? Can we get a cage?

I have to admit though, I did not record the milestones for either child, unless this blog counts. I kind of wish I'd started it sooner, at least then I could pretend it had a purpose to it.
Conclusion: Yea... It's probably not related.

OK so, in conclusion, maybe it isn't down to the parenting, inferior though it may be. 

On the flip side, being number two he got two parents who had seen that shit before (literally) and an older sister who loved, and still loves, the bones of him, even if sometimes she tries to show it by sitting on his head. So maybe, son, you should lighten up a bit. Little dude, it could definitely be worse. Mummy still loves you, even though you're an epic whingebag and you make my brain hurt.

Cheer up, OK?

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  1. I'm sure you have lots of photos of him smiling and laughing somewhere. No? Oh. Blame the parents �� #chucklemums

  2. I'm the eldest of five and my first brother who came along was placid as can be and let me boss him around. Then there was my sister who was the queen of sulking and would sit in a corner with a waste paper basket in her head until she got her way, and number four brother threw epic tantrums and is still an attention demanding diva at aged 30. Number five got all the attention from everyone and was so spoilt he never even needed to whine. So I don't think parenting has anything to do with it. Hang on - I think I'm the whiny one! #Chucklemums

  3. Not the parenting! Oldest is a whingebag in our house, moans non-stop and complete drama queen. Yet, Youngest is happy and smiley, even when she was projectile vomiting this morning. Nothing to do with us. They are either born happy or miserable. Nothing to do with nurture! #Chucklemums

  4. Aaaw I totally relate! We have a very grumpy second born here... and he's 14 and still not snapped out of it, assume he's practising to be a grumpy old man now! #chucklemums

  5. Never have truer words been written! My second hates me! Why? Errr...maybe because of all the reasons above...whoops.... #Chucklemums

  6. My two like to pass the baton of grumpiness between them just to keep us on our toes. Love a nonsensical whine especially when it comes from a tweenager who is capable of verbal communication. Such fun! #chucklemums

  7. I'm on the one and as you know she's quite calm most of the time. I still feel like she's going to become an epic whinger when she hits the toddler years. We'll see. #chucklemums

  8. Oh this did make me laugh. My eldest is the whinge-bag in our family so I agree it's prob not about being a second child. Still hoping he's going to grow out of it ;) x

  9. Maybe he's just having the teenage moods now and when he hits 13 he'll be all giggles and carefree high jinks in the park. #chucklemums

  10. I hate whinging. I tell my kids several times a day that I can't understand them when they talk in "that voice". My 2yo is a total whingebag at the moment and it is DOING MY NUT. #chucklemums

  11. Having to quit our swimming lessons with Mouse because she's a twat and refuses to go in, or she'll go in and do fuck all. Clean waste of £40 a month. Moo won't be going, she gets a daily bath and that's plenty of splash. #chucklemums

  12. As you know, I just have the one, but I am the eldest of three, and my middle brother definitely has a bad case of second born syndrome (or middle child syndrome in his case), even at the age of 33. Hopefully yours will grow out of it a bit sooner! #chucklemums

  13. My daughter is always whinging these days. It's v trying. I hear you on the clinginess - my girl loses it if I dare to be in the house at the same time as her and am not holding her constantly. This too shall pass #chucklemums


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