Happy Halloween…

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Attention Trick or Treaters - Do not knock here. Happy Halloween.


So not only do we have to suffer the indignity of the clocks going back this weekend, but it’s also Halloween on Monday.

Yup. Hold on to your pants.

Back in those relaxing and hedonistic days before children I probably enjoyed the excuse to dress up in something a bit too short and probably unflattering…

Sorry guys

…Go out, drink heavily and dance to the Ghostbusters theme tune.

I now have no need to dress up (because a) I don’t go out, and b) the bags under my eyes are scary enough), but I admit, I do enjoy dressing small people up as pumpkins.

One year ago, when he was very worried indeed.
This was in the middle of summer….

This year, for the first time in my life, I’ve even bought us our very own pumpkin.

Peppa Pig Pumpkin
Ta-da! What else?!

Two quid and a number of hours well spent, I’m sure you will agree.

However, I could still do without bloody Trick or Treaters.

I’ve never seen the appeal; we didn’t do it when I was a kid and call me a party pooper (or a grumpy twat) but I’m very much of the opinion that it’s a really bastard annoying American tradition that we could quite happily do without. Thank you very much.

You may scoff, you may very well love it, but while you’re answering your door to an endless stream of small ungrateful people dressed in Asda’s finest witch costumes demanding free stuff, I will be spending the evening in the same manner as every other year; in the dark, eating my way through a bag of fun sized Mars Bars that I bought ‘just in case’ and praying that no one is stupid enough to knock on the door, annoying the jerk dog, who will wake up the kids and make everyone wish they were dead.

Of course Halloween being on a Monday this year probably means that some utter chancers will probably start their door knocking early. I know, right? Not acceptable. So instead of one night watching TV in the dark, it’ll be three. Yup. This is what I am doing, right now.

I’d probably forgive cute toddlers but what I can’t fathom is the ‘kids’ who are about 16, especially when they’re not even dressed up. Go to the sodding shop and buy your own sweets. Oh, you want money? SURE THING, LET ME JUST FIND MY PURSE. I mean come on. Kids these days.

Er, happy Halloween.

Do look forward to my ‘bloody fireworks, AGAIN?’ rant in one week.

 

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