Well goodbye summer... and hello autumn.
With late September comes conkers, browning leaves, the smell of bonfires lingering in the air... The nights are drawing in earlier, just perfect for snuggling. Hot chocolate is mandatory and of course, there's the ability to hide excess pounds with thick woolly jumpers. That all sounds quite lovely and romantic doesn't it?
Well it ISN'T.
Autumn also means COLD, DARK and RAIN. Autumn is a BASTARD, and only marginally more acceptable than winter which is colder, darker and wetter but with the addition of Christmas hell to get through.
I really want to be that person that finds wandering in the wilderness to the sound of the rain pattering on my waterproof jacket fun and therapeutic, the person that enjoys splashing in muddle puddles with a delighted squeal and collecting fallen leaves... But I'm not. And neither are the kids. Even getting them from the house to the car when it's a big soggy outside is met by universal complaint. No amount of pumpkin spiced latte is going to make up for the fact that everyone is sodding miserable.
And to add insult to injury, today is Monday. It's autumn, it's wet and it's Monday.
Mondays in our household are usually a relaxed affair. In general, the small one spends the weekends napping on the go, and so I like to let him have a decent sleep, if he'll take one; start the week off right.
When it's sunny, we usually play in the garden and then meander to toddler group in the afternoon, stopping at the park on the way there or back. We may visit the shop, or go to the library. That's basically enough fun for one day.
|No one wants to be outside in the cold|
The big one usually wakes up in a fairly good mood; if she doesn't, you know the day is going to go down horribly.
Upon requiring some bathroom time (I don't want to talk about it), I went about my business with two children hammering and crying through a locked door. What a MONSTER I am. If that wasn't bad enough, I didn't even have my phone.
Dazed and still half asleep, I decided to give in to the big one's demands to have breakfast in the front room; the conservatory was quite chilly and really I just wanted to lie on the sofa and let CBeebies do the parenting for a little bit while I came around.
Now, I am no fool.
The rules on eating in the front room are; the cereal stays dry and the accompanying milk is in 'non-spill' cups, but dear god they still manage to make a bloody mess and for some reason the greedy dog isn't fussed about floor Cheerios; useless bloody thing. So yea, we were left with this scene:
Facebook isn't going to check itself you know. I also did very exciting SAHM things like put on a delightful slow cooker dinner (another autumnal favourite), emptied the dishwasher, put the washing on and hoovered.
The small one woke up just in time for lunch, at which point the big one had already eaten an apple, some cheese and half a packet of Wotsits and had been shouting lunch at me for 20 minutes. They ate their lovely warm Philadelphia and ham pitta breads and then the pair of them helped themselves to my sad, low calorie mushroom soup, like they do EVERY DAY. It's like they don't even care that it's horrible and I wish I could have the cheese instead*.
We did make it to toddler group, but the park was off, due to the coldness and the wetness.
I did briefly consider diverting to somewhere else on the way home; I'd driven there for that exact reason, but the big one screaming HOME! HOME! I NEED A POO! was enough to persuade me. Home we went.
Now we are doing really well with the potty training malarkey but we still have our moments, and this was one of them. Without delving too heavily into the circumstances, I found myself scraping and scrubbing a poo off of the carpet.
Meanwhile, the kids got everything out of the kitchen cupboards.
- The lovely slow cooked dinner was roundly rejected in favour of bread.
- Bath time was, as ever, a scream fest.
- It took almost an hour of sitting and humming Somewhere Over the Rainbow to get the small one to sleep, eating up my entire phone battery and sanity.
- It's Monday, so there's no wine*.
I'm now doing that stupid mum thing whereby rather than getting an early night you stay up late in an attempt to get some 'me time' (or alternatively, write an uncharacteristically ranty piece on your award-nominated blog) in absolute denial that tonight is going to be a complete shitter and you'll be up a hundred times and be even more tired tomorrow than you were today.
Wish me luck.
(It was a shitter).
*There is cash money riding on my ability to shift the pounds before Christmas. If you see me eating crisps, biscuits or drinking wine on a school night please please take them out of my hand and give me a good telling off. Thanks.