Sweet little lies: Mealtime deceit and other lies we tell kids

Latest posts Tips
Sweet little lies: Mealtime deceit and other lies we tell kids

A little white lie never hurt anyone, so they say.

A friend of mine, who has two small children of similar ages (and therefore a similar glazed over expression and mental state) shared with me this list of meals that they make for their family, and, crucially, what they call the meals in order that the toddler will entertain the idea of eating them.


Amazing list of food

It amused me for several reasons. 

The first is that I am quite clearly a shit cook (possibly just a shit parent) in comparison; my repertoire is nowhere near as varied. My poor kids probably get slight variations on the same 5 or 6 meals. Or, if they’ve been awful and I just want to go and drown myself in Sauvignon Blanc quietly in a hole, fish fingers. Trying them on new things, however exciting, seems like a futile waste of energy.

Spag bol always goes down a treat.
Except on alternate Tuesdays if a blue bowl is used.

The second reason is that one of the few meals they will happily eat is Egg Cakes’ which are essentially omelettes cooked in cupcake cases. Because omelettes are clearly the work of the devil, but something that looks like a cake is A-OK. Score one for toddler logic. I was happy to hear it wasn’t just me. So happy in fact that I published it on the internet for the whole world* to see.

It made me think about the other little harmless untruths that spill forth from my untrustworthy lips.

Iā€™m not talking huge fibs, ones that will cause the Whingelets embarrassment when they finally discover the truth and which will call into question everything I have ever told them; no broccoli vans or child catchers. Yet. Although I did tell her today that carrots would help her see in the dark, and in my defence it worked… No, nothing too severe. Merely those little white lies we tell when we try to spare our children from the harsh reality; sometimes, we just don’t wanna.

It’s broken!

The TV is broken, see? Nothing happens when I press this button, see? Daddy will fix it when he comes home. Alternatively…

The batteries have run out

Yup, run right out of your toy and into something more important, or at least less noisy, obnoxious and repetitive. I might even be bluffing, they might be perfectly fine.

Meowsic: A bafflingly stupid purchase by Daddy.
Buy one for a kid whose parents you hate today!

There isn’t any left, sorry

This packet of crisps/dairy milk/wine is not good for small people, I’m being a good mother by denying it to you. Or maybe I just don’t want to share.

I don’t have any money

…So you can’t go on that Peppa Pig rocket/scary unsafe-looking vehicle that this garden centre have quite clearly had longer than I’ve been alive. Wait til we come with Daddy, I bet he’ll have some money. He always does…

Daddy/Nanny/Someone you might listen to says you should

Apparently my authority just isn’t enough sometimes. Sometimes I even have to stage a telephone call. It is hard work having wilful toddlers.

It’s bedtime

Sometimes 7pm can be really, really far away. 6pm is nearer and quite frankly, sometimes the thought of not being able to poo in peace for another hour is quite frankly too grim to contemplate.

What lies do you tell your young children? Or am I a horrible, horrible person? Is my friend setting her toddler up to a very embarrassing future first-date scenario during which he remarks upon his companion’s Big Chicken Nuggets?

*My facebook followers. Not quite the same thing

 

77 Comments

  1. Island Living 365 August 30, 2016
  2. Helen Farr August 30, 2016
  3. Dr Lovlie September 1, 2016
  4. Island Living 365 September 3, 2016
  5. Anonymous September 3, 2016
  6. Rachel Bustin September 3, 2016
  7. Reimer Ruby September 3, 2016
  8. Rebecca Roversi September 3, 2016
  9. TheSpeedBump September 3, 2016
  10. Rebecca U September 3, 2016
  11. the Frenchie Mummy September 3, 2016
  12. Ky - Clementine.rocks September 3, 2016
  13. Lydia C. Lee September 3, 2016
  14. Sunita - Lucky Things Blog September 3, 2016
  15. Hannah Morgan September 3, 2016
  16. Hannah Morgan September 3, 2016
  17. My Petit Canard September 3, 2016
  18. nipperandtyke September 3, 2016
  19. The Hippy Christian Mum September 4, 2016
  20. J. Mackinnon September 4, 2016
  21. Claire September 4, 2016
  22. Topsy Turvy Tribe September 4, 2016
  23. Topsy Turvy Tribe September 4, 2016
  24. Claire Elizabeth September 4, 2016
  25. beautybabyandme September 4, 2016
  26. Soppymum Sara September 4, 2016
  27. Kat Candyfloss September 4, 2016
  28. Alexander Fihema September 4, 2016
  29. Wendy September 4, 2016
  30. tracey bowden September 4, 2016
  31. Becci The UnNatural Mother September 4, 2016
  32. Crummy Mummy September 4, 2016
  33. mummydaddy mia September 4, 2016
  34. Twicemicrowaved tea September 4, 2016
  35. Sonia September 4, 2016
  36. Peachy Little September 4, 2016
  37. Sarah Arthurwears September 4, 2016
  38. The Unsung Mum September 4, 2016
  39. Domesticated Momster September 4, 2016
  40. Madeline (This Glorious Life) September 4, 2016
  41. Katy - Hot Pink Wellingtons September 4, 2016
  42. Anonymous September 4, 2016
  43. Two Tiny Hands September 4, 2016
  44. Anonymous September 4, 2016
  45. Sarah | Digital Motherhood September 4, 2016
  46. Sharon September 4, 2016
  47. Rachel September 4, 2016
  48. Ali Duke September 4, 2016
  49. Louise September 4, 2016
  50. Harriet Leonard September 4, 2016
  51. The Mum Reviews September 4, 2016
  52. Geraldine September 4, 2016
  53. Jade - Raw Childhood September 4, 2016
  54. The Busy Mum September 4, 2016
  55. Jacqui September 5, 2016
  56. TheIrishBabyFairy September 5, 2016
  57. myrealfairy.com September 5, 2016
  58. Samantha Free September 5, 2016
  59. Charlotte Rees September 5, 2016
  60. Veronica Lee September 5, 2016
  61. Tooting Mama September 5, 2016
  62. Beta Mummy September 5, 2016
  63. Emma Dowey September 5, 2016
  64. mummyhereandthere September 5, 2016
  65. Blissful Domestication September 5, 2016
  66. Kim @ My Mom Jeans September 6, 2016
  67. Nicky Kentisbeer September 6, 2016
  68. Team Mom Life September 6, 2016
  69. Team Mom Life September 6, 2016
  70. Helena Ashworth September 6, 2016
  71. This Little Sprogblog September 8, 2016
  72. Kim Hogg September 8, 2016
  73. James Hopes September 8, 2016
  74. Maria September 9, 2016
  75. Cheryl Barry September 10, 2016
  76. Scandi Mummy September 10, 2016
  77. Silly Mummy September 11, 2016

Leave a Reply

Instagram

%d bloggers like this: