Friday, 29 July 2016

Weekends with the kids

Weekends with the kids: Then vs now

It's the weekend! Sweeter words were never uttered.


Ah, that's right. I forgot. I have two small children... It means absolutely bugger all.

If you don't have children, which probably isn't a big percentage of the readership of this blog to be honest, your weekend might include one or more of the following: 

Drinks after work on Friday
A nice tradition and well deserved after a long week. For the stay at home parent however, there is no after-work so no after-work pub trip.

Instead... 
For parents that go out to work, the reality is more likely to be getting home to collect your child(ren) from childcare, wrestling them into bed and then letting out a huge sigh of relief before necking a bottle of wine and inhaling a takeaway whilst watching TV. Yes, I am aware that such things as babysitters and partners exist, but my days of popping out for a swift half after work and crawling in five hours later with a dodgy burger and a purloined ashtray are probably over for good.

A nice lie in? Maybe 9, 10am? That's reasonable. Maybe stay in bed a while. You know.  Instead... Maybe your children like lie-ins. Don't rub it in; mine don't. To be honest I am more likely to be able to achieve a lie-in of a weekend, what with daddy being home, if staying in bed refusing to budge whilst the kids scream at each other downstairs can be categorised as such.  Catch up with friends over a relaxed, boozy lunch? Obviously unless you have somewhere to deposit your children, this is a bad idea for a lot of reasons; you don't want to be that person who leaves your kid in the pub (do you, David?).  Instead... Obligatory tantrums if you do not serve food within one minute of children deciding they are hungry.  A leisurely spot of shopping? Go treat yourself, you deserve it! Sadly for the parent, shops are the birthplace of the tantrum. Save yourself the hassle and the judgemental stares and just hand your toddler £30 to rip up while he screams at you.  Instead... Why not try a toddler-friendly activity such as soft play, a farm or zoo which will be packed with other children and their parents who've been up since stupid o'clock and would rather be having a childfree three hour lunch.  If you're really lucky, you may have a children's party to attend.  Night out? Dinner out with friends, maybe followed by a film, a show, or by more alcohol, perhaps a club, or any number of exciting activities?  Possible, but must be planned well in advance and it had better be worth it. As I have said before, I cannot think of a worse way to spend babysitting time than sitting in a cinema.  Instead... Might be best to play safe and have a bottle of wine in front of the TV. If you do go out, make sure you get home at a reasonable hour, because the kids will be up at five am. Again.  And obviously, it's up to you, you're an adult capable of making your own decisions... but parenting with a hangover is the pits.  Long hungover lie in Possibly only getting out of bed to answer the door to the pizza delivery man? Yea, you wish buddy.  Instead... Up at 5, same as yesterday and the day before and the day before that. And all the days before those, and a lot of days to come. Sigh. There might cuddles in bed though and that's pretty awesome.
A nice lie in?
Maybe 9, 10am? That's reasonable. Maybe stay in bed a while. You know.

Instead...
Maybe your children like lie-ins. Don't rub it in; mine don't. To be honest I am more likely to be able to achieve a lie-in of a weekend, what with daddy being home, if staying in bed refusing to budge whilst the kids scream at each other downstairs can be categorised as such.

Catch up with friends over a relaxed, boozy lunch?
Obviously unless you have somewhere to deposit your children, this is a bad idea for a lot of reasons; you don't want to be that person who leaves your kid in the pub (do you, David?).

Instead...
Obligatory tantrums if you do not serve food within one minute of children deciding they are hungry.

A leisurely spot of shopping?
Go treat yourself, you deserve it! Sadly for the parent, shops are the birthplace of the tantrum. Save yourself the hassle and the judgemental stares and just hand your toddler £30 to rip up while he screams at you.

Instead...
Why not try a toddler-friendly activity such as soft play, a farm or zoo which will be packed with other children and their parents who've been up since stupid o'clock and would rather be having a childfree three hour lunch.

If you're really lucky, you may have a children's party to attend.

Night out?
Dinner out with friends, maybe followed by a film, a show, or by more alcohol, perhaps a club, or any number of exciting activities?

Possible, but must be planned well in advance and it had better be worth it. As I have said before, I cannot think of a worse way to spend babysitting time than sitting in a cinema.

Instead...
Might be best to play safe and have a bottle of wine in front of the TV. If you do go out, make sure you get home at a reasonable hour, because the kids will be up at five am. Again.

And obviously, it's up to you, you're an adult capable of making your own decisions... but parenting with a hangover is the pits.

Long hungover lie in
Possibly only getting out of bed to answer the door to the pizza delivery man? Yea, you wish buddy.

Instead...
Up at 5, same as yesterday and the day before and the day before that. And all the days before those, and a lot of days to come. Sigh. There might cuddles in bed though and that's pretty awesome.


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37 comments:

  1. You have pretty much just described my life... I used to love going out for drinks after work, have boozy sunday lunches and sleep late! I suppose you can't have everything... x#triballove

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  2. I was only thinking this today. My first thoughts were - yaaay it's the flipping weekend, quickly followed by - why am I so excited, it will be exactly the same! Sometimes it feels a teeny bit like that film Groundhog Day!

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    1. Not exactly the same. I have grumpy husband to contend with too! Hurrah

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  3. Yeah, that about sums up my weekends! Great post. #KCACOLS

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  4. Trust me one day you will look back and wish they would wake at 5 instead of dragging them up at 11! #KCACOLS

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  5. Just popping back to say that this inspired me to make my own sexy infographic but I have stuck with a pie-chart as that is all I could manage #KCACOLS

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  6. Those were the days... another great post :) #KCACOLS

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  7. Every day is the same, it is so true. Only difference comes in the weather at the moment. And at the moment it's pissing it down, so it'll be another two-soggy-dog-walks-with-baby-and-toddler-where-I-forget-something-waterproof-for-one-of-them. I actually dreamt about a meal on a restaurant plate last night. Siiiiiigh. #chucklemums

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    1. Ha I make the husband do the soggy dog walks. My ears can't take the whinging!

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  8. I can relate to this all too well. No more lie-ins, going out is now a rare treat, but I'm fine with that... for now. Ask me in a few years I guess haha. #chucklemums

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  9. Lie ins?!?! I Feel your pain....I've pretty much been awake for the past nine years. My kids wake up so early. There was a period of about five years where I just didn't even know what my own name was. Haha. Freya X #chucklemums

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  10. I wholeheartedly agree with all of the above. But also find with none of our regular organised activities on at the weekends the days can sometimes feel even longer! #Chucklemums

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    1. Very true! There is a toddler group on a Saturday for dads actually but he refuses to go. I think it sounds perfect!

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  11. Just popping back again, you can't red of me ;-) It's not Friday but I might have to brave the ball pool today - ugh! #chucklemums

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  12. Amen for the cuddles in bed, I tell ya!!! I barely remember those days. #chucklemums

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  13. Cuddles in bed make up for it all! Although I might not admit that at 2am when I have an elbow in my eye and dribble in my hair! Ha #chucklemums

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  14. Oh bless you. I hear you hun, I hear you. It's pants.
    I know one day we will be having the opposite problem and will have to drag them from their stinking pit of a bedroom, but the years of no sleep soon catch up and render you bonkers don't they...
    We can do this!!!
    Gem.x

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  15. sleep deprivation...forgot the # - pahahahaha!!! #chucklemums

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  16. Tell me about it - the T&Cs we accept as parents are barbaric! The cuddles are good though but I'd prefer them at 9am rather than 5am! #chucklemums

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  17. This post brought a whole shed load of memories flooding back. You know what though...there was a time when we had lie ins again...and then we got bloody dogs! What the hell were we thinking?! Now I can pretty much substitute 'dogs' for all your little one gripes. And you've got a dog too - just goes to prove that we're all bloody mad :) Alison x #chucklemums

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  18. Yep....that's my life!!! lol. Love the infographic! #chucklemums

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  19. Wine in the sofa with a take away pretty much sums up are weekends these days too. I actually don't like the weekend anymore. Too many other children, at the park or the soft play and the bigs kids at that. The type the charge round not seeing my little kids and knock them over. So. It only can we not go out of an evening anymore, the days suck too. Superb. Thanks for linking up at #KCACOLS. Hope you can come back again next Sunday.

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  20. Yep, definitely recognise this. to be honest, I was more than happy to give up the nights out before I turned into some sort of tragic Peter Stringfellow figure still trying to keep up with the young 'uns at 70, and I am one of the lucky ones whose child enjoys a lie in, but I pay handsomely for the latter when he's rolling around in bed at 11pm hitting me over the head while I pretend to sleep! #tribe #chucklemums

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  21. I love the idea of giving £30 to the kids to rip up. That would save time and money! Genius!
    x Alice
    #chucklemums

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  22. 10am?! You fucking dick! Never seen the likes of that since my student days, when I considered that the crack of dawn. Now I consider 10am lunchtime. #chucklemums

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  23. Back from #chucklemums and still longing for those long boozy sunday lunches...

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  24. Check out your infographic - it's the bizniss! Love the way you've used your blog colour way. I do like a bit of symmetry and order when it comes to colours! I get a bit arsed off when random colours pop up on my blog that don't go with my colour scheme - there goes my OCD again!!
    *what you said* I wish I could say it gets much better with the tweenage years....nowadays we get to sleep in till 7a.m how lucky are we #chucklemums

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  25. I must admit, my kids don't lie in either. I think that's the thing I miss most! :) #KCACOLS

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  26. Ahhhhhh pre baby days .... I miss you! #KCACOLS

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  27. Our pre baby days were not that long ago - I'm still mourning the lie in! #KCACOLS

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  28. How have I not commented on this yet?! The fancyinfocomparographicybob is next level 😍😍 #KCACOLS

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  29. How have I not commented on this yet?! The fancyinfocomparographicybob is next level 😍😍 #KCACOLS

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  30. haha, you have described my life. I have to say though that now that I am a mum I can inhale a bottle of wine once the boy has gone to bed faster than I ever could when I was a student. I am not sure whether I should be proud of this or ashamed... Pen x #KCACOLS

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  31. Haha - yes so true! The friday feeling & weekends are meaningless with little kids. Especially as a SAHM - really no different to other days! In fact, until recently, I would say they were more work as there was another person here making mess & ruining my routine! Sorry for lateness! #chucklemums

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  32. Haha I trained my 7 year old to love lie ins. Ahe could stay sleepin unti 10 am on weekends!...I bet you won't have it any other way. Children are precious.

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  33. When you have a baby, your life will be many changes, such as your routine at weekend or you can't go out over night with friends, ... Thanks for your article because I know about many changes when having a baby, so I can adapt easily.

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