Thursday, 21 April 2016

I hate Peppa Pig


I hate Peppa Pig

I am not an aficionado of children's television, but alas, I do know every episode of Peppa Pig word for sodding word.


If there is a two year old in the world that does not love Peppa, I have not met them.

It seems to have hit upon the magical combination of keeping kids amused and, at least at first, not being absolutely unwatchable for parents (I'm talking Bing or Mr Maker here. Shudder).

Despite my distaste for the show, it's obviously doing something right as it's been running for twelve years and is shown in 180 countries. That's a lot of countries. It could well be Britain's most successful televisual export. A quick google shows me that Sherlock is actually the top rated British TV program but I bet they don't make much money from Sherlock pyjamas.

There is a three step process when a new parent and their small child first discover Peppa.


1) Elation. Finally, something that captures their attention that is cute, inoffensive and even an occasional chuckle for mum or dad. They stay STILL. You get a hot cup of tea. What's not to love?
2) Realisation. Actually that pig is quite annoying and bossy and probably not a great role model for my precocious toddler. The Bing Bong song... That's bloody irritating. And how does mummy pig stay so bloody calm all the time?

3) Regret. A year on, your toddler will ONLY wear Peppa Pig branded clothes and whines 'Pehpaaaa,  Pehpaaa' whilst holding the TV remote, and you begin to curse the day you brought this 'cute', 'cheery' little series into you life. If you're not at this point yet but have already reached step 1 or 2, it's too late, you're already screwed.

We recently made a pilgrimage to Peppa Pig World.

How is this anything but terrifying?
Yes, Peppa has her very own world. And for the princely sum of £25ish a ticket you too can visit.

Actually, I want to say awful things because of my loathing for the Pig but actually, a lovely time was had. It's the perfect size to keep a toddler entertained for a day. It was a bit wet and miserable but that wasn't really their fault... And this just meant the park was pretty much empty of other people's children. Thumbs up.

I couldn't have hoped for a better response from the toddler; we got there and as soon as she saw the rides and the Peppa paraphernalia she started screaming 'LOOK MUMMY IT'S DADDY PIG! HELLO DADDY PIIIIIIG' and waving maniacally at the fibreglass pigs. If she was potty trained she would have weed herself with excitement. She went on every ride and enjoyed herself enormously, as did my parents and sister who each paid £25 to witness this.

As if this wasn't enough fun for one month, I also decided to subject myself to Peppa Pig's Surprise.


That is Peppa Pig (well, not the real one, obviously. She was turned into sausages a long time ago) at the theatre. For obvious reasons, I'd never taken the toddler to the theatre before. At £15 a ticket I ummed and ahhhed until only the 'cheap seats' were left. Except they weren't cheap.

Roll forward to the day, the baby had woken up from his nap far before either of us wanted him to and the toddler was grumpy and taking ages to eat her lunch. I had, thankfully, pulled Nanny and Grandad into service to babysit in order to have some lovely bonding time with my firstborn however despite just being the two of us, we still didn't manage to leave the house on time.

I was really pleased when we arrived with 10 minutes to spare... to an absolutely full car park. After circumnavigating the entire place I realised we were a) out of luck and b) late. A flash of inspiration came to me; I could park in the valet section. After all, what is money? And the car hadn't been cleaned in the 9 months we'd had it, even though we have a dog who likes to make nose print art on the rear window.

So, for the cost of £20 we were only 5 minutes late (almost ten after they initially directed us to the wrong seats) as opposed to missing the whole show.


The toddler was very excited by it all. 


Initially, anyway. She shouted a big hello to Peppa and Daddy Pig and got a little annoyed when they didn't respond.

She sat still, and paid attention throughout the whole thing - she's good like that - but I didn't see the joy spread over her that perhaps I was hoping for. It was very serious business and she was very upset in the interval that they'd gone away.

I was a bit annoyed that they couldn't be bothered to come up with a new storyline (SPOILER ALERT - they almost leave Daddy Pig buried at the beach!). The kids might not care but they could throw a bone to the hundreds of parents there; they know we suffer this crap day in, day out.

It did make me wonder briefly how fully grown adults get into this type of thing. 


I expect that very few people probably dream of growing up and singing the Bing Bong song to a theatre full of screeching toddlers. I've certainly had nightmares similar. The Bing Bong song features in all of my nightmares.

As we went to to leave, you had to pass stands selling dine-saw balloons and Peppa toys. Canny. At this point I realised I had no money at all; cue a very upset toddler. Aware that I had a valeting bill to pay, we traipsed to the cash point.
Still terrifying
We bumped into some NCT friends who had been at the show (with their son, obviously). We stopped and chatted at the cash point, and as I opened my purse I realised that not only was I without money, I had no bank card either. I had to shamefacedly ask to borrow some cash so that the lovely Polish men (both in terms of their country of origin and what they were doing to my car) would release my car back to me.

All in all, a great day out.


Sadly, we are on holiday when Mr Maker is coming to town...

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58 comments:

  1. Big balloon, big balloon, bigger than the SUN AND MOON
    Flying high, in the sky, fly and fly and fly and FLY

    peace and harmony, in all the world....

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    1. Why thank you! Why not add in a 'I woke up this morning. The sea was still there. So was the sky. THE SEA THE SKY THE SEA THE SKY THE SEA THE SKY'.

      *Sound of gun going off, and silence*

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  2. I hate Peppa Pig too I think she's a brat! xx

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    1. She is. A horrible brat! I am terrified my daughter now thinks that is how to behave...

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  3. Hahah I agree about Mr Maker, I can't stand him.

    Also my Mum lovea Peppa Pig. She guffaws heartily when they lay on the floor and laugh.

    Just a heads up, my daughter is 7 now and still sings the Bing Bong song!

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  4. .. I somehow missed what the actual surprise was in the end? Great narrative.
    Anyway.... I have your life line... Are you ready ... BEN AND HOLLY

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    1. She won't watch it! Apparently it's just not highbrow enough for her...

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  5. Ah, The Pig. I have a love hate relationship with her. Great for some peace and quiet - terrible for your sanity if you have to sit through too many episodes in one go. I did enjoy Peppa Pig World but I don't think I could survive the show! Bonus points for that!! :) #KCACOLS

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    1. I had a well deserved lovely big glass of wine that night I assure you!

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  6. Bloody Peppa Pig! Pass the wine love, it'll help you forget the annoyingness :-) xx #bigpinklink

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    1. Hahah thank you. But if I drink, I end up singing the songs myself ;)

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  7. Great post! I have hit number 1 and 2 and I am kicking myself for letting than bossy pig into our lives! That being said, my toddler loves it and will dance to the songs and attempt to sing along. I've got her birthday party coming this Saturday and it's a peppa pig theme 🐽 Wish me luck :) thanks for sharing and we are making the Mecca Trip to see peppa world this summer, any tips? #bigpinklink

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    1. Umm... take ear plugs. The music will get in your brain and refuse to live. I hope they offer the workers counselling.

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  8. Ha this did make me laugh. I am sick to the back teeth of Peppa, my 2.5 year old has an obsession with Peppa & George at the moment and if I have to hear that whine that George does one more time I'm going to lob the TV out the window. #bigpinklink

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    1. George is not right. I hope they're having him assessed.

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  9. here here!! this made me chuckle x #bigpinklink

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  10. Peppa Pig world is just round the corner from us and you're right, it's like the worst place on earth for us adults but like fu**ing heaven for the kids. My horrid mother brought me a season pass so i could take the kids whenever. Now that's all i hear from the 3 year old, "Are we going to Peppa Pig world today?" "Um no H, we're going to grandmas." Doh! #KCACOLS

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  11. I hated Peppa Pig too. I used to hide when it came on ... But I never braved the World or the Show ...

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    1. Oh you really should. Even if your kids have grown out of it...

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  12. We never got into Peppa thankfully, with my second child I had learned to be picky about what she watched to save my own sanity. Now I hate max and Ruby (the bunnies with no parent around inexplicably). Sorry but Ruby is a b.

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    1. Haha not come across that one. And I shall endeavour not to!

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  13. I have yet to be subjected to Peppa Pig. I think I hope to leave it that way. This just sound plain scary! #bigpinklink

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    1. It'll happen. Give it a year... Someone will buy you a dvd, it's hard to avoid...

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  14. Omg I hate Peppa too - thankfully we live quite far from Peppa Pig world so we haven't made it there and the eldest is now over Peppa (thank God) and the youngest is just copying his brother so is more into Thomas the Tank Engine. Though they both still love the Peppa toys, the balloon ride play set included which cost us £20 from Center Parcs last year. I was trying to steer him towards a cuddly Chase from Paw Patrol for £8 but it's like they can sniff out money wasting purchases! Congrats on MADS btw - you've got my vote :) Thanks for hosting #chucklemums

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    1. Thank you :)
      How old is your eldest... just out of curiosity/hope??

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  15. I am yet to endure Peppa, but I have seen the spell she casts on my friends' children. It is clearly witchcraft. #chucklemums

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    1. It is! And it's amazing. Until the songs go round your head when you can't sleep at 3am. Consider yourself warned?

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  16. Part of me wishes there was one here in Oz, but then common sense kicks in and I realise phew...dodged a bullet there! #chucklemums

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    1. The do have it! And I know this because there is an episode with a spider (Mr skinny legs) which got banned over there. I KNOW PEPPA TRIVIA. I NEED HELP.

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  17. Popping over again from #Chucklemums .... That bloody pig! Ha ha! xx

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  18. Haha. I think all us mums curse the sodding pig family... Ps. having worked as an actor, I know desperation sets in and there's some bitter and twisted people inside those pig costumes... #chucklemums

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    1. Hahahaha thank you that really tickled me.

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  19. Throw a bone to the parents!! So true! I live dangerously close to peppa pig world (so close that lots of people I know have season tickets)...I must remember to take him there at some point, to be fair I have only heard pretty good things about it even if it is centred around a precocious pig. #chucklemums

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    1. Oh it is wonderful. The kids will like it. You'll want to take a knitting needle to your brain to silence the music but it is wonderful.

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  20. Oh god I do not look forward to these days, can I make my child like watching Friends??? He's still too young to actually have a taste for anything (literally still on milk), and I have spoken to friends about Peppa and the horrible Bing Bong song and I'm scared haha. I can't believe they didn't have a different story line for the show?? Dicks. #ChuckleMums

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    1. Ha there does come a time when suddenly you become very aware of what they're watching... Around a year or so when they starte copying the rude words. So flipping peppa it is.

      Dicks indeed!

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  21. £25 a head? Wow I need to invent a kids' TV character. Maybe a...cat? A cat that works as...a courier?

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    1. Somewhere out there is a very rich person rolling around in their money like...er... a pig in shit.

      That sounds awful. I'm on board.

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  22. Hah Hah! I remember this phase well and the three stages you speak of. My youngest occasionally watches it now, but we have progressed on to Sofia The First and other princess stuff. You'll be pleased to know you still go through those 3 stages no matter what they're watching. I always lie to my kids when out shopping that they don't have the Peppa Pig / Princess Sofia clothes in their size...... Thanks for hosting #ChuckleMums x

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    1. Oh, we are on princess stuff. Currently Peppa and some woman singing all the disney songs on youtube are the Most Watched in the whinge household...

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  23. Mummy pig should be sainted! And so should you for braving PP world and Theatre Production!! I remember years of PP, I can hear the theme tune distantly ringing in my head sometimes even now.... and the never ending snorting!! PS Won't let me comment as Turning Up In Devon, not sure why? X

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    1. At Peppa world, they play it on a loop. Honest to god, it's like hell.

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  24. How does Mummy Pig stay so cheerful? She must be putting something her tea! And why is it ok for Peppa to be a bossy know it all?? You are a better mum than me, there is nothing that could entice me to go and see Peppa at the theatre 😊😂 #chucklemums

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  25. I have a confession to make. I have never actually seen Peppa Pig. I have seen the adulation with which she is revered amongst the small folk, I have read the books, but never have I seen this TV show. I don't even know what channel it's on. After reading this, I will try to keep it that way, to try and avert the inevitable Peppa obsession. #chucklemums

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  26. Still trying to convince my almost six year old that she doesn't need Peppa in her life anymore...failing...#kcacols

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  27. Somehow, I've NO idea how, this is actually the first time I've visited your blog. That's almost as bad as the 25 $#@$%&*! pound entrance fee you paid! Ah the mileage that damned pig has given bloggers though... A good giggle #bigpinklink

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  28. Couldn't agree more with your hatred of everything Peppa. I thought we had gotten away with it now my boy was 5 and he liked superheroes more. Then whoops, a little girl came along, who is now 1 year old and loves to dance to all the songs :-(

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  29. I feel like you need to watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sy9EutPjZF0 Sorry for the link drop, but its worth it I swear :)

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