Tuesday, 30 August 2016

Sweet little lies: Parenting untruths

A little white lie never hurt anyone, so they say.

A friend of mine, who has two small children of similar ages (and therefore a similar glazed over expression and mental state) shared with me this list of meals that they make for their family, and, crucially, what they call the meals in order that the toddler will entertain the idea of eating them.
Amazing list of food

Friday, 26 August 2016

The working mum experience: Part 2

You can see part one hereFor those that can't be bothered to read it, I'll attempt an American drama series-style summary. (Please imagine this in a Hollywood Voiceover accent).

I had made the decision to become a stay at home mum, however in order to keep my maternity pay - which, given I was hoping to return to work and then was denied the chance at the last minute, I was fairly set on keeping - I had to return to work for two weeks.

Obviously childcare was my primary concern. 

The small one had never been apart from me for any length of time and I wasn't convinced that it was worth settling him with a stranger for the sake of a fortnight, if anyone would even want the gig. I love him, obviously, but he really can be a right whingebag, especially when teething or ill which is basically all the time. And don't get me started on trying to get him to sleep.

Daddy took holiday and covered the first week and, as I suspected, he is a much more fun stay at home parent than I. He sent me pictures like this:
Because shopping with daddy is just too much fun, unlike shopping with mummy:
No: my children did not miss me at all, and to add insult to injury the house was tidier.

Fortunately, my sister and parents were able to pick up the second week.

Tuesday, 23 August 2016

The working mum experience: Part 1

So the time finally came.

My year of maternity leave ended and I was left with the choice between returning to work, or becoming a stay at home mum.

Obviously, I turned to the inspirational memes for guidance in making this monumental and potentially life changing decision:
But sadly they were as wanky and passive aggressive as each other.

This was a choice I needed to make myself. Enter the pros and cons list.

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

Guest blog: The *real* ten stages of labour

I've never been in labour, so although it sounds like a lot of fun it does mean that I'll never be able to blog about it (be grateful). 

This was written by my friend Gemma Hayward especially for Whinge Whinge WineGemma is the mother of two small children too - a little boy and a pretty brand new baby girl. She's also the fool that attempted messy play with rice. She doesn't have time to blog, what with having a real job, but she would be pretty good at it in my opinion...
Well done you, you've spent 9 months growing a human

It's been amazing, exhausting, painful and you've eaten a lot of biscuits but now the time has come; one final hurdle and, at last, you get to meet your baby and find out who they look like! (It's probably going to be their dad. Don't be too disappointed.) It looks so easy on TV, right?

Er... sure. If you're heavily pregnant with your first child, I would look away now. These are the stages of labour that the antenatal lessons don't prepare you for:

Sunday, 14 August 2016

Big boy bed: The cot-to-bed transition

Big boy bed: The cot to bed transition (title text, overlaid on a picture of bunkbeds)
There's no doubt about it, this kid is a climber.

He's also a dedicated cot-hater; since the very first time he was placed lovingly into his cosy bed he has routinely announced his displeasure and, by the time he reached a year old, he'd throw a full blown tantrum whenever we approached it. With two naps a day that's a lot of screaming.

I have no idea why this is. The big one was always happy to go into the very same cot; if she wasn't sleepy (or thought she wasn't) she might grumble a bit but would then play with her toys until she fell asleep in an amusing position.

Perhaps he was a prisoner in a former life and being behind bars gives him flashbacks? I suspect I will never know.

Tuesday, 9 August 2016

Guest blog: Can't touch this! Pregnancy rage

At the time of me writing this, my friend (this one here who likes the telly box) was very heavily pregnant and fed up. 

It was 30-odd degrees out there; having had a baby on the hottest day of the year in 2015 I can understand. It isn't fun. 

I thought a good outlet for her rage would be to write another guest post for me. After all, my youngest was six months old when I started this blog and so you missed out the delight of my pregnancy ramblings. And it's not like she has much else to do. Ho ho ho.

Here is what she had to say.

Friday, 5 August 2016

Toddler tea time: A simple five step process

Getting decent food into the big one seems to be a constant struggle.

Out and about, I don't even try to force vegetables into her any more (unless they're bean shaped and covered in tomato sauce) for fear of the public tantrum.

At home though, this sucker for punishment just keeps trying. The refusal to eat whatever is put in front of her is a fairly new but very annoying phase and, as much as I'm sure it is pretty normal for toddlers, it's driving me demented.

I think it would piss me off less if she was at least consistent. I've just spent half an hour knocking up a very decent salmon and courgette risotto. Fancy right? Delicious, I'd say. Last week she thought so, too. She ate the lot. Today it's as if I am trying to feed her sewage.

We've had twenty minutes of her whinging about wanting ice cream instead (I'd probably have cracked and given her some if it didn't involve a trip to the shop) and now I'm hiding out in the kitchen making toast. Or trying to; the bread is starting to go mouldy. This really isn't the day for a tea time tantrum.

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